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Paramount Pep
5
The Big Personal Drive Is On — Let's Go!
Myrtle Freeman, Accessories Stenographer, returned Monday morning from a week-end vacation on her father’s farm. It was Myrtle’s first visit and she was very thrilled and excited. She stopped and told everybody what a wonderful time she had had teaching the cows how to do the shimmy so that they would give buttermilk. She gets the cut glass bathing suit.
The other day Lew Foster, our City Salesman, was discussing “THE COVERED WAGON” with a small town exhibitor. Lew almost fell off his chair when the exhibitor announced that he wouldn’t be interested in same, as he had just purchased a Ford Sedan. And they shoot men like Lincoln.
ODE TO HARRY SWIFT
In days of old, when knights were bold,
Poets sang of deeds so rare,
But in these days when backs are bare “Swift” sings of stars like “Ayres.”
As an exploiteer, he’s there no doubt We doff our hats to Harry,
But when it comes to writing poems We advise him not to tarry.
His rhythm is awful and his ideas are worse, We fear they will get him a ride in a hearse, But with it all we wish him well,
For New Orleans, we hear, is hot as H .
By TOM LINDSAY.
New York to Chicago
No, the next stop for this young lady, Catherine Epstein by name, is not Chin a, but Chicago.
Miss Epstein recently attended a masked ball in New York and she impersonated Leatrice Joy as the Manchu Princess in “Java Head.”
It is needless to say all honors fell to Miss Epstein.
This young lady, who for two and a half years occupied a desk in the Exchange Service Department with Sara Lyons, has been transCatherine Epstein ferred to the Chicago Exchange where she has already been welcomed as one of the family.
Pick-Ups
By Billie Mistele — Kansas City
“Man lives and is worth living with as long as his enthusiasm lives.”
A domestic science lecturer is said to have addressed a women’s club recently on "How To Spend Money.” Next thing we know, somebody will be teaching ducks how to swim.
“How do you feel?” asked the physician who had been called to attend a seamstress. “Oh, sew, sew, but I seam worse today and have stitches in my side.” The doctor hemmed and told her she would mend soon.
One lady confesses that she sent a quarter to an advertiser who offered to tell women how to take out wrinkles in the face. He advised her to walk three miles in the open air every day, assuring her that the very first day the wrinkles would be taken out — with her.
Daughter : “Oh, papa, what is your birthstone ?”
Father of Seven: “My dear, I'm not sure, but I think it’s the grindstone.”
To be happy at home is a great achievement. The man wbo is loved by the house cat, the dog the neighbor’s children and his own wife is a remarkable man, even if his name is never listed in “Who’s Who.”
It pays to get the other fellow’s point of view; besides it’s one of the few things worth getting that doesn’t cost anything.
Cincinnatigrams
By E. C. Naegel