Paramount Pep-O-Grams (1927)

Page Twelve P E P-O-G RAMS LARRY Anyone who has attended a Paramount Convention must feel a glow of admiration for the manner in which Larry Flynn handles the myriad transportation details. He has that job up to the level of a grand art, and the Convention which is current as these lines appear is the greatest demonstration of that. His co-ordination with Judge Frawley’s arrangements is so perfect that the entire Convention rolls across the Continent and back with the speed, smoothness and precision of a Pennsylvania express. Another thing, just take a peek sometime at the manner in which Larry can balance a telephone receiver on his left ear, while holding a timetable in one hand and signing a hundred letters with the other hand. ISN’T I T S <) ? Discovered and Submitted by Seymour Shultz Man comes into the world without his consent and leaves against his will. During his stay on earth his time is spent in one continuous round of contraries or misunderstandings. In his infancy, he is an angel, in his boyhood he is a devil, and in his manhood he is everything from a lizard up. In his duties he is a fool. If he raises a family he is a chump; if he raises a check, the law turns around and raises thunder with him. If he is a poor man, he is a poor manager and has no sense; if he is rich, he is dishonest, but considered smart. If he is in politics, he is a grafter and a crook; if he is out of politics, you can’t place him because he is an undesirable citizen. If he goes to church he is a hypocrite; if he stays away from church, he’s a sinner. If he donates to foreign missions, he does it for show; if he does not, he is stingy and close-fisted. When he first comes into the world everybody wants to kiss him; before he goes out everybody wants to kick him. If he dies young, there was a great future before him, but if he lives to a ripe old age. he is in the way, only living to save funeral expenses. Life is a funny road, but we all like to travel it just the same. ( NOTE : The editor, reviewing the title of this item, replies that it is not so. He has found life calm and serenely beautiful, with every man trusting every other man, "women trusting and believing "women, with tolerance universal, understanding at every step along the road of life, beauty living in everything , humanity doing and believing only the best of everybody. Yeah, he has found all of these. But wait! — he’s "waking up! Now he’s aivake, back on earth again! And lo and behold — the article stands without, a single bluc LET THE CADDIE DO IT The golfer gazed at his caddy indignantly. “A driver for this hole? Only 160 yards? Why, it’s just a mashie and a putt for me!” Confidently he stepped up to the ball, mashie in hand. “Chug!” The ball dribbled off the tec amid an eruption of clods. There was an instant’s silence, broken by the murmur of the caddie: “Now for a long putt!” LAST GENERAL MEETING ( Continued from Page 7) sence of President Vincent Trotta from the Club’s meeting. In his absence, Vice President Joseph Sweeney presided and gave ont the preliminary announcement of the Summer Outing at Indian Point, You’re Going Up the River! You’re Going To Do Time! Yes! A Good Time At INDIAN POINT on JUNE 16th penciling! After all, the heading must be ' right! It is so! THE “FEEL MY PULSE’’ BRIGADE [ Joseph A. Walsh — genial Joe of Room i 906 — has been on the sick list for a few f days since last issue. But the bacilli, or | whatever they were, couldn’t keep Joe from his desk for more time than was positively ( ! necessary. I That old demi-god — John Z. Coincidence • — was on the job at the time, for he also l;| placed on the sick list Frances Sadlier, who i| is so fortunate as to be the fiancee of Toe Walsh. Presumably they wrote each other 1 1 notes of sympathy, and so speeded each1 other’s recovery. We learn also, that Evelyn O’Connell, i secretary to Theodore C. Young, had a swift and successful bout with la grippe. j And as though this news of illness was | not sufficient for the ever-busy Ted Young, his wife became a patient at the John Hop ( kins Hospital. Our latest news is that she is making a fine recover} from her illness.