Paramount Pep-O-Grams (1927)

Page Six P E P-O-G RAMS JEST FOR FUN “Brush yo’ off?” asked the porter, as the train pulled into the station. “Brush me off if you want to, but I m opposed to tipping,” said the matter-of-fact traveler. “Well, sah,” said the porter, “yo’ clothes aren’t nearly as dusty as Ah thought they was.” — Christian Science Monitor. Newlywed: “I insured my life for ten thousand dollars today.” His Bride: “Goody! Now you won't have to see the doctor about your cough.” Parson George: “And which of all the parables do you like the best, my boy?” Johnny: “The one where somebody loafs and fishes.” — Culled WISDOM WITHOUT TEARS It used to be chivalry that prompted men | to give women drivers the right of way; now it’s common sense. The trout season is open. Deep in his crypt Ananias stirs uneasily. Kind Friend: “I’ll give you a penny for a kiss, Elizabeth.” Bright Kid: “No, thank you! I can earn more takin’ cod-liver oil.” — Life. “Mama and Papa think we ought to wait at least a month before getting married.” “Aw, I hate these long engagements.” “So do I — but we have to give them enough time to find a larger apartment.” — Life. A colored preacher down South was trying to explain the fury of hell to his congregation. “You all is seen molten iron runnin' out frum a furnace, ain’t you?” he asked. The congregation said it had. “Well,” the preacher continued, “dey uses dat stuff fo’ ice-cream in de place what I’m talkin’ ’bout.” — New York Evening World. A young married woman who was learning to drive a car became somewhat confused over the details and exclaimed: “But how can I think of what to do?” “Oh, just imagine that, your husband is driving,” was the instructor’s rejoinder. “So you’re a salesman, are your What do you sell?” “Salt.” “I’m a salt seller, too.” “Shake!” But the Malady Lingers On “ So you had an operation. What for:” “Three hundred dollars.” “No, no. I mean what did the doctors take out of you?” “Three hundred dollars.” “You don’t get me. What did you have?” “Three hundred dollars.” “Oh, I see. I was just wondering.” A colored woman went to buy a collar for her husband. “What size?” asked the shop assistant. “I done forgot,” replied the woman, “but I can jes’ manage to reach aroun’ his throat wif my bofe hands.” CORRECTION. Last month we inadvertently mentioned John W. Fingerlin as being manager of the Home Office Distribution department. This should have read 'Home Office Production Department.’ If woman’s intuition is so wonderful, then why does she ask so many questions? * * * If you want to find out how short three months is, sign a note for 90 days. * * * Selling only what’s asked for is like shooting at a decoy— it’s a sure thing but there's no sport in it. * * # “He who would climb a tree must grasp its branches — not the blossoms.” * * * Husband and wife should not find fault with each other; leave it for the relatives of each to pick you to pieces. * * * Watching my friends convinces me that the man with $1000 never hesitates these days about what kind of a car to buy. He always buys a $2000 one. * * * To a really big man authority never means more than responsibility. NOT PRESENT THIS ISSUE \ our old friend Wit-Snapper, introduced last issue, is unavoidably absent from this issue. He is engaged in the task of making a series of drawings of the homes of those individuals who throw cigarette butts in the corridors, scatter paper and clips indiscriminately, and in less pleasanter ways prove themselves to be the possessors of unenviable manners. I R O N I C S By Frank Irving Fletcher in the New York Herald-Tribune So many people nowadays are aiming to be something they are not, that one has only to be himself to be exceptional. The best way to be different is to be natural. SOUND FILMS. “What is all of this talk about linking sound and dialogue with Paramount Pictures?” says Sara Lyons. “Why, every Paramount Picture I can remember has had linked with it the tinkling of telephone bells, the rumble of film cans and the voices of Dick Blumenthal, George Weltner, John Ojerholm, Arthur Bell, Willie Basch and a score of others calling out ‘What about that print?’”