Paramount Pep-O-Grams (1928)
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I YE OLDE
PEP-O-GRAM ALMANACK
Warning — this Almanack is published a 3'ear late, but it is a great compliment to the genius of the compiler of this clearvisioned document that practically every item includetl in it has come true. The original treatise was written over a year ago but was only found a week before publication of this issue of Pep-O-Grams. Henry Gray found it one Thursday last week while bending over to adjust his Brighton supporter while riding a Brighton and Sea Beach commuter.
Oct. 1 — Jim Speer will find a Bismarck cigar band next week while standing on the kerb waiting for his wife to get through for the daj' in Alacy's.
Oct. 16 — Time to plant banana trees for scenery in them Jim Clark 24-sheets on the “Four Feathers” in the spring.
Oct. 18 — G. B. J. (Judge for yourself or “who cares ’bout dat?”) Frawley will be inducted as president of the Paramount Pep Club at a dinner this evening. Venus three points W'est.
Oct. 19 — Armand Toussaint will receive the Order of the Chicken a la King if he is patient and gives the waiter a break.
Oct. 21 — .All committees of the Paramount Pep Club will be duly appernted — with sound.
Oct. 22 — The price of artichokes will he raised one cent per choke.
Oct. 25 — .\mos Botsford will be elected chairman of the Entertainment Committee, will express regrets; Russ Holman will he elected, will e.xpress comparative regrets; J. E. McDermott will be elected, wdll express superlative regrets. William Mcllvam wdll be elected chairman of entertainment committee. Will take aholt.
Oct. 25 — Air. and Mrs. Len Cushing will announce a blessed event.
Oct. 26 — Alariners take heed. It is fixin’ fer a blow. Rosoff’s will dust off and revarnish all wdndow' trout and goldfish.
Oct. 27 — Bernie Brooks will call Eddie Hollander “Air. Shea.”
Oct. 28 — Bernie Brooks wdll walk to the New York E.xchange under forced draft, having damaged gear in the mid-riff.
Oct. 31 — A. J. Alichel and Mrs. Alichel will sail for Yurp.
Nov. 13 — First Pep Club meeting wdll be held under President Frawley. This is the time to set late fall hens.
Nov. 16 — Red Cross drive begins. Edw'ard A. Brown, ex-president in charge, will break all records.
Nov. 24 — Brooklyn, N. Y., bereft since the demise of Henry Ward Beecher, wdll at
last see the light. Brooklyn Paramount will open this day.
Nov. 25 — Rita Robinson, comely little gel from Tuxedo Park, wdll be that way about a certain gown in a certain window. Window wdll be on West 59th St. Rita will be on tenter-hooks until Santa “b’ings me ’at cute ickle down fwom de cute ickle winnow.”
Nov 26 — This is the day to plant green corn. In charred oak barrels.
Dec. 11 — Jesse L. Lasky will tell Pep Club meeting plenty this day.
Dec. 14 — Joe McLaughlin will be elected Chairman of the Board of Governors cum laude. A^incent Trotta will be elected vice chairman, cum over to my house to dinner, try an’ get in.
Dec. 24 — Helen Swayne will receive pneumatic knockwurst, by air mail.
Dec. 25 — Christmas Day. Rita Robinson will get the “down” from “Tandy Tlaus.”
Dec. 29 — Pep Club party on 26th floor. Alarie Dunn will be present. Party will be a jazz-mad panic-riot.
Dec. 31 — Alarie Dunn will adopt Hollywood diet.
Jan. 1 — Resolutions in Lhiited States. Same thing, spelled with a “v” in Alexico and Central America.
Jan. 3 — Whalen will wax powerful — mustaches.
Jan. 8 — President Adolph Zukor wdll deliver momentous talk to Pep Club at its meeting this day.
Jan. 24 — Larry Flynn will have appendix removed. Passenger agents of all railroads will send up prayers for recovery.
Jan. 25 — B. & O. Railroad will make one bottled appendix part of permanent exhibit in Mt. Royal station, Baltimore.
Jan. 28 — Helen Kane will dust off old elephant-huntin’ hat in preparation to going to Ppramourr ^,-.'1 T/iri) Eddie Hollander.
Feb. 3 — Len Daly will join Russ Holman battalion of Press Book sector.
Feb. 9 — Park Avenue will be shaken by temblors of jealousy this day. Paramount Pep Club wdll stage annual Paramount Ball at Astor Ball Room. Helen Kane will get Len Daly that way about her.
Alarch 5 — Sam Katz will deliver famous speech to Pep Club, earning nick-name "The Publix Servant.”
Alarch 7 — Budget Bowling Team, comprising Joe Doughney and Teddy Lemm will be victors in company tournament.
PEP-O-GRAMS
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