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Photoplay Magazine — Advlhtlsing Section
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A.GNUTT
"Tk. yfOXSIEUR requires " asked the
l\ /I French waiter, vainly endeavouring to \ / I induce his stubborn customer to speak i. V X English.
"Voulez-vous," began the customer for the twentieth time, while the waiter's head swam.
At last a tourist opposite looked up from his AngloFrench pocket dictionary.
"If I may assist you, sir "
But the customer, swelling with importance, waved him haughtily aside.
"Kindly allow me to use my own French," he snapped.
"By all means," answered the tourist, blandly. "But I wish to point out that you are asking for a staircase, when all you require is a spoon." — Til-Bits.
A LETTER mailed in 1900 has just been returned to the writer, because the addressee can not be located. Burleson is to blame for only eight years of this, but his was the only administration that gave up the search. — Kansas City Star.
A FILM which is fifteen miles in length and requires nearly twenty-four hours for its continuous exhibition has just been completed.
It is an Italian production, and the length befits the grandeur of the theme, as its seventy-seven reels purport to show every incident of importance in the Bible, from the Creation to the birth of Christ.
The film has been titled "Christianity," and report says that it has fallen under the ban of the Pope, particularly on account of lack of costume in the Garden of Eden scenes.
It is understood that the Italian Government, or some members of it, are financially interested in the success of the film, which has cost over £1,000.000 to make, and has kept 10,000 people employed over a period of two years. — Til-Bits.
TEACHER — "Swarms of flies descended upon the Egyptians, but there were no flies on the children of Israel."
Smart Boy — "There ain't now, either." — Cleveland News.
THE title of a certain story was under discussion the other day. "What does it mean?" a woman asked a film man.
"That's easy," he said. "Look it up in the dicj tionary." — Ar. T. Telegraph.
THE custom of referring to the time immediately after one's wedding as a honeymoon descended from the ancient tribes of Central Europe. Newlymarried couples drank and served to their friends a wine made from honey gathered during the first thirty days (or lunar month) after the performance of the wedding ceremony.
TWO little boys who prided themselves on their courage were sitting over the nursery fire and discussing apparitions. "But." said one very confidentially, "shouldn't you really be in a most awful funk if you did see a ghost — a most evil-looking one. I mean?"
"Good gracious, no!" was the boastful reply. "I should just say, carelessly, in a throaty voice. 'Good evening. Devil, going strong? What?' " — London Morning Post.
MRS. MURPHY: "I 'ad a misty Fright this morning. 1 put my foot on one of them electric tramlines,"
Mrs. Dobson (well-informed): "That don't 'urt. dearie — not so long as you don't 'ave your other foot on the over'ead wire." — Tit-Bits.
DLAYING-CARDS were invented about the year * 1390, in order to amuse Charles VI., then King of France.
The inventor proposed to represent the four classes of men in the kingdom. The clergy were represented i'\ in', ins.
The nobility and military were represented by the points of spears.
Diamonds stood for citizens, merchants, and tradespeople,
I'll. figure we call a "club" alluded to peasants and farmers.
{""ARRIED away by the beauty of the heroine on
^ the screen, he murmured, unconsciously, "Isn't
she lovely!"
"Every time you see a pretty girl you forget you're married," snapped his better half.
"You re wrong, my dear: nothing brings home the fact with so much force." — TitBits.
"\/or'RK a New Yorker, aren't you?" I "Yes." "Where do you live in summer and winter?"
/ ilerary Digest.
Ki.iy advertisement In PHOTOPLAY. MAGAZINE is guaranteed.
IX the old days of the draft an examiner was putting 1 Sambo through the usual course of questions.
"Any previous military" experience?"
"Lord, yes. boss," replied Sambo. "Ise an oldtimer. Ise been shot at three time befo' they ever was a war." — American Legion Weekly.
CTARS are really suns which are continually throw^ ing off light, observes Tit-Bits.
This light passes through different layers of air and vapour before it reaches our eyes. These layers, being of various degrees of density, make the light of the star appear to flicker or twinkle
Dust in the air causes this twinkling to be magnified or accentuated.
""THE Cnexpected. — "I never dreamed of anything I like this when I invented the telephone." said Dr. Bell after a demonstration. Neither as a matter of fact did we when we hired ours. — Punch (.London).
DISHOP: "And now. would any little boy or girl •'-' like to ask me a question?"
Little Boy: "Please, sir. why did the angels walk up and down Jacob's ladder when they had win I
Bishop: "Urn — er — quite so. And now would any other little bov or girl like to answer that question?"
Til-Bits.
'T'HE influence of picture personalities in the nam1 ing of children is revealed by the birth records at Somerset House. London, which show that during 1020 there was a large increase in the popularity of such names as Mary, Pearl, Norma, Mae, Gloria, and Douglas. — Tit-Bits.
"r~\0 tell us about the great wild west," said the *< impressionable young woman. "You may not believe it." replied the tourist, "but I found a little town in North Dakota where there was not a single motion-picture theatre."
Birmingham Age-Herald.
"DA, what's an actor?"
I "An actor, my boy, is a person who can walk to the side of a stage, peer into the wings at a group of other actors waiting for their cues, a number of bored stage hands and a lot of theatrical odds and ends and exclaim. 'What a lovely view there is from this window! ' " — Birmingham Age-Herald.
TEACHER: Johnny, what is velocity? Johnny: Velocity's what a fellow lets go of a bee with. — Life.
FOR a small body, the moon has some astonishingly big mountains. They are bigger than any we have on the earth.
By the manner in which massive rocks overhang dizzy precipices many thousands of feet high, they are thought to be of much harder material titan ours.
Many of them differ also in their colour, some glowing like an opal. One of them, indeed, can be seen shining on the dark part of the moon, and this led to it being mistaken for a volcano in full blast.
There is a mountain range in the extreme south of the moon whose peaks are said to be from 30.000 ft. to 36,000 ft. high. Mount Everest can boast only 29,140 ft. Altogether, the moon has nearly forty peaks which are higher than Mont Blanc. If the earth had mountains in proportion to its much greater size, they would be very many miles high.
Tit-Bils.
GILLIS: I just returned from bidding good-bye to a couple of friends who are going abroad. GUlis: Who are they?
"Young Jones, from New York, is going over to be educated in Paris, and young Smith, from Los Angeles is going over to educate Paris." — Literary Digest.
"YY/HY did you resign from the movies?"
" "It was this way." said the exfilm actor. "I drove a motor car at sixty miles an hour off a pier into the sea, swam out to a capsized boat and rescued the heroine, carried her to shore and fought a battle with three make-believe smugglers and when I sat down to recover my breath, what do you suppose the director said to me?" " ' Bravo 1' probably."
"No. He said: A little more action, please." Then I quit." — Birmingham Age-Herald.
THE dispute was over an eight-day clock and the judge said. "1 award the clock to the plaintiff." "Then what do I get?" the defendant asked. "I'll give you the eight days," said this honor.
Boston Transcript.
THE Comedian — "My parents tried hard to keep me from becoming a comedian." Tlie Lady — "I congratulate them on their success."— London Mail.