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ft I
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Trie Squirrel Cage
I I n~r\i Mi. I '.v, A /^ II
r ■•
"I am Gilbert, the filb«H. The Colonel u( the Nut«."
-Kathleen ClifforJ.
tlic crown. Start
aaiy, Jean I'lap
career as Kins
ricii. i; iKcamc court sossip
■ifd the throne that no one ever
*-are-arTred. The mystery was
for on his rif;ht fore
: cap of liberty and the
'HE (tovemment printini; office established a record in rn-tinc t!ic peace Ircaly within boars.. ? t paper,
-.cbes wide i*. were
The I: pounds.
treaty covered o^ lagi m X.n: Congressional rd.
w
HEX inc
ness oi
on your
ber the :
Ridd .
wt.
w
A
G'_J would be with our flying so fast from Him." An up-to-date 'lane can fly forty miles in than twenty minates.
M.TER ELI.I.N. a ch-.^rch -irer in Kucland. lii--.'. -r ': l>eing oi duty (or i.o.jo -ecatjvc Sundays.
I.nrO>iriTI\T. civeg four revoluticr • f says L<>: i
:.2ir'c's dri\ LT
■ rcnce and
an hour,
a tTiiiiutr.
1 about the slow . ing
1 re
by old n Eni;
: -Th;
of disand 1
came to this country and soon cnftaccd in the same work. Curiously enouRh, Rose Pastor Stokes made cigarettes in EastEnd where she was born. She later came to the United States where she married a millionaire. lioth of these former inhahitanis of London's tobacco district have large follow ings in their social work.
T.VKING some of the pictures down as hot weather aiiproaches will help to make the house look cooler." says The Chicago Daily News. That's all ri«ht for the house but if VOL' want to look cooler replace tlie pictures with chunks of ice. (Do it, thouKh, while your wife is on her vacation.)
WONDER what Harriett Beecher Stowe would do could she see Sennett's burIcS'iue on her iminurtal classic, "Uncle Tom's Cabin"? She'd most likely laugh.
Hl'.NRY FORD has been havinc the law on The Chicago Tribune all summer trying to collect a million dollars from the Tribune
into pennies, there would be a pile big enough to keep 3.5<»7 huruy-gurdy monkeys busy picking up for 9.371 hours." \"erify that yourself.
w
H.\T;S in a name? Ask Mr. R. E. Morse
of Chicago who was Uneil Sjoo and co>ts
driving an automobile while intoxicated.
w
E alwayi were punk in
B
»» illiani tii> fx-kai»<r lus |)<-rlij|i» rrct-ivi-J no more unique punishment for hi» stapir and fancy crimes (lian that accorded him by Drummer B. .M. Straycr v» ho canii" home recently with the Thirteenth Enjjincers. On his drum he haJ painted a very good (hou^h somewhat iJeaJisfic likeness of the kaiser, so that each time he hit the drum he hit the enemy.
D
to A. S. K. to the lue
■•TRY fbouM be a floar!<hinc pro■r BUiidom. An ordinary garden o Icclh. \^ hat a swell party a ave with all tbo»e teeth aching
.^ -. .. ... ;.me.
AMUEL C/)MPER.S. pre.ident of the
' Ameriran Federation of I^bor, wai born
' ic Ea<t-cnd of London. Hit father was a
maker. When Samuel was thirteen be
b«-iau»e it called him an anarchist. We wouldn't grt '''re at that but if anybody called us a bolshevik we'd have hii bide.
AnOT^SHEVIK i» a guy who doesn't believe that the world is made up of what vou dnn't want a'ld can't ecI. "Then the ru-* lt>af« around wailing fur •omcbo<ly to bring it tu him.
UR Good-looking Answer Man was figuring on hi« cuff. Finally he lifted hi» eyes and ^aid: "If all of the million dollar smiles ' which the movie press agents boast about were converted
MAJOR GEORGE PITCHER, who for a nuiiibcr of years was in charge of the reference room of Hearst's Chicago newspapers, is a physician. He served as a surgeon in the Spanish-.\mcrican War and went out again in im7. Recently he was called back for service and CNpicts to make it liis life work. Meeting an Irish friend lie told liim of his i)lans and reniarkcd that at last he had a iob for life. "He aisy. George," he replied, "you may not live that long."
ALVIN C. YORK, second elder in the Church of Christ and Christian Union. Pall M.nll. Fentress Countv, Tenn. Single-handed, York killed t\yciity Germans, captured 1^2 prisoners, including a major and three lieutenants ancl put .TS maehiue guns out of businiss on Oct. 8, igiS. Tins was the greatest individtinl fe.-it of the great war. The next time Germany gets fresh we'll just send ^■ork and the first elder over to settle their hash,
Td.KRY R.\MSAYE savs that I'eg W(il1iii>;ton was the first .11 tress to employ a press agent. If Terry will only tell who will be the last one we will thank him.
I"T you can't find a word to rhyme with "month."
BY file way, the first corrcit answer to our (lutstion as to what was wrone with our statue of l->os came in the shape of a poem from Modesto, Calif. There was no name or address accompanying ilie missive which follows:
IF/in* is wrong here? Simflw this: rhcv'ze tied the "bow" in Cupid's
nit
In such a way that should he shoot llc'd get the arrow on the snoot I
In other ■a^ords, fn!r Eros' bow Is mounted wrong-side-lo, yon
kno-.K ; .1 fact which now a f teals to me .Is rank eugenic 'spiracy!
And if the postman reaches you Ilcft^rc it's nineteen tZiCnt\-t:,.o And hasii'l lost this lile a mult Kindly remit one English nut.
THE number of dogs in Enjj^■land has decreased by a mill^nn during the war, according to London Tid-Bits. Vou say it.
IT is perfectly all right, declare* Margariti Fisher, to kiss anyone except your rich aunt.
SPE.\KI.\G of kioing, did you re«<l tint funny one in the paper wherein it « .i<«ertrd that drinking near-beer was just about like kissing one's wife?
o
IT is
1 ou«Iv
tors ah'*
ter and »ir"p *a t on inrrti i* i^ (
would li lucfy the cloud* and
When a boy we tried to catch a bi:
seri
87