The phonoscope (Nov 1896-Dec 1899)

8 THE PHONOSCOPE July, 1S99]| ©ur XTattlev A funny incident occurred at a recent church social in a neighboring city, where a Graphophone was employed to help out the evening's entertainment. The Graphophone was hired by one of the men of the church, and when he hired it he forgot to say that he was going to use it at a church social. Everything went along smoothly for the first three or four pieces, but on the next one it started out something like this : "Well, Casey, where in h — 1 have — ' ' The machine was grabbed by the man who hired it, and rushed into another room, where a new roll was put in, and the entertainment continued. An old gentleman from the country would not believe that he could hear his wife talk a distance of fifteen miles over the telephone. His wife went to a neighboring city one day and the old gentleman went to town just to satisfy himself by experimenting with the telephone. He went to the telephone exchange office and told them he wanted to talk with his wife. They explained how to operate the 'phone and the old gentleman walked boldly up and exclaimed : "Hello, Jane !" At that instant lightning struck the telephone wire and knocked the old gent down and as he scrambled to his feet he excitedly cried : "That's Jane, by gosh !" A man of sixty years or thereabouts stood in fronc of a Phonograph in a hotel wine room looking with open-eyed wonder at the machine, which was grinding out a song of the concert hall by a tenor with a rasping voice. That he was a farmer was evidenced by his clothing, clean, but far from stylish, with an old straw hat and cowhide boots, which had apparently done many a mile back of the plow ; by his kindly and weatherbeaten countenance, now overspread with a stare betokening the greatest perplexity, and by his hands, rough and expanded by years of toil in agriculture. He listened to the song in silence as long as he could, but finally turned to a bystander with the question : — "Say, mister, who's that fellow singing?" The man to whom the query was directed, after expressing surprise that the fanner had never seen one of Edison's famous instruments, explained to him its working as well as he could, the listener taking it in with open mouth as well as ears. Finally he gasped :— "Gosh, that's wonderful, ain't it?" Then he spent the afternoon feeding nickels into the insatiable maw of the Phonograph. He plainly considered his visit worth while. Recently the proprietor of a prominent store, gave a Graphophone concert, with a large megaphone attachment. A couple of sons of Ham of "seven or 'leven" summers and twice as many winters, who happened to be passing, stopped and listened in open mouthed wonderment to the talking-machine. At first they were inclined to run, but as they noticed the indifferent attitude of the crowd standing around, their nerve gradually returned and they edged nearer the mysterious little machine. Several band selections were ground out and then came a rollicky negro "song and dance." The performer was an artist, and between verses did a "double shuffle," "heel and toe," "do see" and other fancy steps in such a realistic manner as to completely lose the two youngsters who were listening. They began to roll the whites of their eyes, work their toes and presently, when the limit of human endurance was reached the eldest "toed the scratch" and turned himself loose. He was followed immediately by his companion and the way those little imps did the "razzle dazzle," "pigeon wing," "come and kiss your baby" would have caused the man in the Graphophone to hide his face in shame could he have witnessed it. The musical tatoo of their bare feet upon the hard floor soon drowned the machine out and the crowd forgot it in watching the antics of the two local stars. A circle was formed around them and by threats and bribes they were kept at it until the sidewalk was blocked and the streets made impassable by the crowd. Finally the}' succeeded in making their escape and when the}' had reached a side street, the younger asked: "Say, Bill, who you speck dat nigger was dancing and singitt' dat a-way ?" "Shaw, nigger," replied the other scornfully, "don't you know who dat am? Dat's Crazy Sam, from down here in Swampoodle : I done knowed dat nigger's voice no sooner dan I hearn it ; deys can't fool dis chile." Phonographs, like croupy babies, get sore throats, queer voices and cast-iron coughs, and the Phonograph doctor must lend his aid before health is restored. Between the mischief done by the small boy, whose delight it is to put paper wads into the slot, and the jokes played by adults on the guileless, unoffending machine the Phonograph surgeons have their hands full. During the summer months the doors of the hospital are left open . For the sake of the sanity of the workers for health some of the awful shrieks and buzzes must be allowed to escape. Business men who pass back and forth in the corridor often pause to listen to the wheezy, shrill sounds that float out from the rooms in which squeaky -voiced, weak-wheeled combinations of cylinders and cogs are nursed back to the sweet and dignified songsters that they were before misfortune or weak lungs came their way. As soon as a disabled Phonograph arrives it is wound up and made to tell its symptoms. Almost invariably it bursts forth forcibly and describes its pains and aches with whines and sighs and tearful groans that would bring envy to a small boy with a greenapple stomachache. Often the disorder is so chronic and of such long standing that it's a hopeless and impossible task to determine whether the patient is jogging out the inspiring words of "There'll Be a Hot Time" or ripping the inimitable strains of a Sousa composition into smithereens. The worst case that ever came to this particular hospital was one which rightly belonged to the Keelev people. A glass of beer had been poured into the big brass horn and had trickled unmindfully into all the delicate mechanism, rusting the springs and cranks, glueing the rubber tubing and creating general havoc. The machine was taken apart to the smallest screw and put to soak in a half-gallon of kerosene. It was a humiliated and reformed Phonograph that once more raised up its voice to hum the simple strains of "I Don't Want to PI a} in Your Yard." A Phonograph doctor is not unlike the one who ministers to the ills of man. Sometimes a patient arrives who to all appearances will be a helpless invalid, but a little steel arm is lifted and everything is well — while the bill will be just as big as if three weeks of treatment had been necessarv. The hardest case to cure is when one of the two little springs that rest so comfortably in their little metal case becomes split or broken. While the operation is not necessarily painful to the patient, it puts the attendant into a cold chill to repair things. Once in awhile a Phonograph is brought in by a frantic individual who declares that the records positively cannot be put onto the cylinder, that they're too small to fit. The frenzied gentleman is gently informed that, in order to have cylinder and record perfectly combined, one end o the record and one end of the cylinder are made slightly smaller, so that the record will slip in place and stay there, and that the record cannot possibly be put onto the cylinder from the wrong end. These cases are considered great jokes by the Phonograph doctors — as are hives and red nose by men of the medical profession. %cgnl IRotices Judge McPherson made an order refusing the motion for a preliminary injunction in the equity case of Thomas A. Edison against Hawthorne and Sheble. The plaintiff asked that the defendants be restrained from using the name "Edison" in connection with their business of selling Phonographs. Motion in Preliminary Injunction — Judge McPherson. — Without intimating an opinion upon any of the questions argued by counsel, but reserving full liberty to consider and decide them upon final hearing, I feel obliged to deny this motion for the single reason that I do not think the right of the complainant is clear. James L. Andem, of Cincinnati, O., recently filed an answer and cross-petition, through Attorney C. W. Baker, to the suit against him b}the National Phonograph Company. It seems that Thomas A. Edison first sold his patent rights to the North American Phonograph Company, and from it the Ohio Phonograph Company bought the State right for Ohio, and Andem is the successor of the latter concern. In the meantime the North American made an assignment and Edison again came into possession, and he sold the right to manufacture to the National. Andem admits his indebtedness, but, by way of set-off. says that the plaintiff has invaded his territorial rights, damaging him to the extent of $50,000. 7 : Dan Stuart, the well-known fight promoter, has been sued by E. J. Rector, inventor of the veriscope, for fifteen per cent of the profits of the Corbett-Fitzsimmons fight pictures. In the papers filed in court by Rector, he gives some facts about that picture scheme that have never been told to the boxing public before. Mr. Rector claims that he formed a partnership with Stuart for the purpose of securing pictures of the fight. He invented the apparatus and Stuart furnished part of the capital for the necessary experiments. Rector says that while there was no formal contract, it was agreed between them that he was to receive one-quarter of the net receipts after Fitzsimmons and Corbett had been taken care of. Stuart gave the men to understand that they formed a corporation, but, as a matter of fact, no such corporation existed when the agreement was signed. Stuart managed the entire affairs of the corporation. He sold the right to use the pictures in various territories and received all the profits from exhibitions. Mr. Rector says that by threatening to bring Stuart into court, the fighters got about $60,000 three months after the contest. Stuart was made treasurer of the company at a salary of $75 a week and traveled with the exhibition . When Rector demanded his share of fifteen per cent of the receipts he was told by Stuart that he had no interest in the corporation and even if he had there were no profits to divide, as all the money had been expended in the interest of the concern among' the Legislatures of various States. Mr. Rector said that Stuart had once admitted to him in conversation that the profits had amounted to over $1 20,000.