Photoplay (Jul - Dec 1927)

Photoplay Magazine — Advertising Section l37 "Hold everything," I advises her. "Get Weber and Fields and do a threeact," I says, "you'd even make 'em laugh in St. Paul." And that was that. Well, it seems that Abie was still uncertain about work, so Perspiration keeps me to do a film with a particular party known in the business as The Snip. "It's all off if she eats limburger," I warns Fitzpatrick. "She don't eat nothin'," he says, "only pineapples and lamb chops garnished with aspirin tablets, and she has a hell of a temper. Here she comes now." Up switches The Snip and I gives her Casual Interest. She's a little shrimp with a nose like a crescent moon, shifty eyes and is always showing her teeth like she was hungry. "Listen," she says, in a raspy voice, "the left side of my face is even more beautiful than the right, so don't twist me around in the close-ups. Furthermore, don't try blockin' me out with your socalled profile. This is my picture and what I say the rest echoes. It's no use makin* love to me, either, as I'm a perfect lady, and anyhow my husband, the Prince, is always around. Do I make myself plain?" "■W"OU bet," I says, displaying Mockery, i. "but why not get a dummy from a department store?" I says. "Don't worry, I'll only make up the back of my neck for the big shots. And as for making love, no inhabitant of the Bronx is likely to fall for a member of one of the first families of Chicago — -as you come in by train. Laugh that off," I tells her, "and don't try to rush upstage because you saved a wop prince from going to work." Well, as we were both what you might call one hundred per cent American, we understood one another perfectly and little Carlos again committed grand larceny, as one of the critics said. After we got through Zoop puts in a hurry call for me, but before I left the lot Isadore Fitzpatrick sounded me out a little. "How much does Abie pay you?" he asks, and when I tells him he acts like he was choking. " Oi ! " he yells, smacking himself on the forehead, "the dirty robber charged us three thousand for your rental. Every week you worked for us was two grand velvet in that schlamieVs pocket. A pfui on such a loafer!" "Say," I says, "you talk mighty funny for a Spaniard." "Shut up!" he hollers. "Now, listen, Carlos, you're worth three thousand at the box-office, but I hate to get stuck. Come and work for me at that figure." " I got a contract for two years," I says. "How can I break it?" "What good is a contract with a crook like that?" shouts Isadore. "He's liable to want four thousand for you next time, and what do you get out of it? That's white slavery, so help me." He starts rocking from side to side. "It serves me right," he wails. "Abie kept company with my wife before I married her and any man that's smarter than me I shouldn't do no business with." WELL, Irving," I says, calling him by his pet name, "thanks for tipping me off. If I can get loose I'll let you know." And I walked out of the Per spiration offices with Determination peering from every pore. The first thing I did was to register a healthy kick with Zoop, but it didn't make much of a dent. He reminded me of the contract, which he called ironclad, but hinted that a five hundred check might find its way into my mail once in a while. "Just a little appreciation on the side," he says, "and don't forget that from now on you pick your own heroines. And have I got it some swell stories for you? Just ask me." This heroine stuff sounded pretty good, so not wanting to get Abie overheated I decided to shelve the money angle until later. I looked over the field and finally selected a slinky skirt by the name of Pauline, one who could do me justice in public. You see, a star like me has to be seen at first nights and around the big hotels, so it was good advertising to have up-to-date company. Owing to all the demands on my time, I didn't see much of Sally, but rung her up every day. WELL, one afternoon after having been stared at by a lot of pop-eyed visitors, I beats it for my dressing-room to get a little nap, and on the way I bumps into a bird who apparently knows nothing about the unwritten law of stepping aside for a star. I starts in to enlighten him when all at once I sees it's the perky guy who sassed me in Grand Central. He makes me, too. "I'm a so-and-so if it isn't old English broadcloth himself," he yells. "How are all the imported gloves from Manchester, Vermont?" he says. "Not so loud," I warns him, "some of those goofy fans might hear you. The publicity man's got 'em bulled that I'm the original Cordovan Kid. What are you doing here, for that matter?" " I'm the new stunt man," he says. " I heard that you used up six doubles in one picture, so I came over to see if they wanted a real male. Carlos Cabrillo, eh?" he says, looking me up and down. " I've seen your films, of course, but never thought that you were the old fluff who turned up his panties when it rained in London." f OOK here," I says, "you did me a -1— 'favor once without knowing it. Cut out the wise cracks and maybe I can help you wise up around here." This seems to make a hit with the fellow, whose name is Red Martin, he tells me. We got to chumming around quite a bit and he turned out to be a regular guy with a queer mixture of rough and smooth. I couldn't place him. One evening I brought him along to supper on my weekly visit to Pasadena, but the way Sally acted you'd have thought that I'd just returned from the North Pole. She rushed down the steps before I got out of the car and flustered me with a flock of kisses, but seemed to look on Red as excess baggage. Well, we talked about New York and the dirty deal Zoop was slipping me, and Sally mentioned how she'd like to take another moonlight trip on the old Hudson. She made me a bit embarrassed, not having the poise a star's wife should. This Martin guy took in everything and seemed kind of thought P. S. If you play bridge, let us send you our attractive netv Marlboro Bridge Score — mailed free upon request. V CIGARETTES v. Always fresh — Wrapped in heavy foil. Created by PHILIP MORRIS & CcLieinc. 44 West !8th Street, Dept. H9, New York When you write to advertisers pleaso mention niOTOrLAY MAGAZINTC.