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Why Can't They Stay
PICTURE people apparently like to marry, but somehow they don't seem to like staying married. Divorces and separations are so common in the profession that some people accept a marriage announcement between two movie actors, or between an actor and a non-professional, as a kind of joke.
Divorces are, of course, common in all professions and walks of life. The divorce courts are, in fact, getting more crowded each year. But movie stars hold the record. To hear of one obtaining a divorce for the third or fourth time no longer causes surprise.
In my psychoanalytic work among actors and actresses, the problem of unhappiness in marriage has often come up.
During the process of a mental analysis, when the deepest and most secret thoughts and feelings are brought to the surface and discussed, these men and women of the screen have frequently unburdened their souls to me as to no one else.
And this much I have learned:
I have learned that a picture 'star, no matter how celebrated he or she may be, is every bit as human as any other man or woman in any other line of activity.
I have also learned that no matter how high and mighty the public may think they are, each and every one of them is fundamentally quite unpretentious, simple and natural.
•"THESE people don't put
■* on airs and graces at all.
They do that only when
they are in the limelight.
Segregate a popular picture idol and get him to talk and you may be surprised to find — provided your conversation is not intended for publication — that they don't relish their inability to remain married at all. They don't get divorces for fun or because they crave headlines in the newspapers. They can't stay married because they cannot help themselves!
"People somehow get the
Here is Doctor Bisch's analysis of the emotional barrier that often shuts off the actor or actress from a truly happy marriage :
"If you pretend love almost every day of your life, if you are continually acting love, you can't stop yourself pretending love, even if it be with a red-blooded human in private life who is in dead earnest. You find yourself unable to take such an individual seriously. You have lost in large measure your contact with reality. Or, what is even worse, you may think you are genuinely in love yourself, while all the time, unconsciously, you are acting.
"Furthermore, gaited for flight as you are, what are you most likely to do when discord steps in to mar your marital bliss? .... You run for a divorce."
notion that we picture people are a sort of freak of nature, " confided one of the so-called movie queens to me. "We weren't born on the lot, you know. All of us have fathers and mothers and have ties and sentiments like the rest of mankind. Since I sued for divorce I have been deluged with letters, many of them telling me I'm a hard-boiled, selfish, unprincipled creature — in fact that none of us in this business deserves a decent husband.
"But what does the public know about what I have suffered? I certainly tried with all my heart to make a go of our marriage. And I love my husband, despite what has happened, to this very day."
I agree with everything this star confided to me except the last part.
SHE is strikingly beautiful even out of the studio and I know for a fact that she is kind and generous, full of ideals, loves a home, would go wild over a baby, takes a fancy to cooking, is not in the least bit up-stage. In short, not only is the lady most human, her appearance,
traits and tastes are such as ought to make her a most acceptable and contented wife.
Yet the divorce she refers to is her third!
The part I don't agree to is the statement she makes about being in love with her husband.
She thinks she loves her husband, I admit. She was positively dumbfounded when I told her she did not.
But her difficulty is the difficulty most of these movie people suffer from.
They want to love but they can't.
They really don't know what love is!
In all ordinary emotional respects picture people are identical with other folks. In respect to love, however, they are different. And that is the reason why they are unable to stay married.
In order to find an explanation of this curious phenomenon we must look