Photoplay (Jan - Jun 1943)

DETTE DAVIS, known throughout the country as thegreat advice star of Hollywood, now offers to answer your problems through the pages of Photoplay-Movie Mirror. Each month, from the letters sent to her in care of Photoplay-Movie Mirror, 77 51 Sunset Boulevard, Hollywood, California, Miss Davis c/iooses those with the problems that seem to her to be most universal and gives her fearless answers every month in this magazine. No names of towns are used and all names of persons are changed. FROM Canada comes this letter: Dear Miss Davis: I am sixteen years of age and I am going to business college. I shall soon finish my course, but instead of going into an office as a clerk, I want to join the Woman's Army. My parents object to this notion very much. They think that I am too young. They say that, considering my two brothers' being in the Royal Air Force, that is enough of the family to be fighting at present. What do you think I should do? Ever your friend, M. Dear Miss M.: There can, of course, be no doubt in anyone's mind of the worthiness of the Women's Auxiliaries to any of the services, American, Canadian or British. However, whether you join or not must be, obviously, a completely personal de\cision. Since I know none of the circumstances that surround your life, 1 ican't direct you, either toward service or toward the office work you mention. Perhaps the objection of your parents to your joining is based, somewhat, on fear for your safety. Then. too. during wartime, parents are likely to cling to \he child who can be kept at home. Perhaps your greatest service to your country at this time lies in keeping your parents happy and keeping your home as much as possible like the home your fighting brothers remember. Yours truly, Bette Davis. Dear Miss Davis: I have been very much impressed by your answers to the serious problems in Photoplay-Movie Mirror, so now I am bringing you my troubles in the hope that you can help me. So far I've asked advice from no one and it is with great modesty that I now ask you. I am a very attractive girl of twenty whose parents won't allow me to go Dut with boys. Almost every boy I meet asks me for a date, but I have to refuse all of them. Naturally, they don't believe me when I say my parents won't allow me to have dates. Now I don't care to go out with everyone I meet, but I think now that I've met the most important man in my life. I think I will love him forever. I have never had a date with him — just talked to him in the office and that is all. I am afraid to let him come to the house for fear my parents will make a fuss and disgrace me. Sometimes I wish I were homely so no one would ever look at me and then I would be satisfied to stay home night after night, like I do now. But I'm not satisfied even if my being at home does make my parents happy. I have tried to talk this over sensibly with my parents, but it's no use. They say no decent girl goes out with boys. Should I listen to my parents all my life, or should I go ahead and do what I think is best for my own future happiness? Yours truly, A. Dear Miss A. : Of course it is not true that "no decent girl goes out with boys." It is right and normal for any girl to want beaus. Frankly, I think your parents were very wise to protect you until you were eighteen. I personally believe that all girls should have their early escorts checked by their families and that most social activities should be home parties. I remember very well how infuriated I used to be because my mother brought me up in exactly this way. I wanted, like you, to go out with boys just as other girls did. However, I do feel that after a girl is eighteen she should be allowed more freedom. l\o parent is going to be able to make decisions for his children forever; young people have to learn to cope with problems of adult life as they meet them. At twenty, 1 think a girl should certainly be given some choice in the matter and should be able to choose beaus intelligently; or else it seems to me her parents' upbringing has been inadequate. I feel, honestly, that for you to abide by so strict a rule as that laid down by your parents at present may endanger your future happiness. Yours sincerely, Bette Davis. Dear Miss Davis: I am a girl, fifteen, but I feel at least ten years older. Here Ls my problem: My father and I both have very hot tempers. I don't get along with him at all. He won't let me go anywhere without a big argument. Why, I can't even go to the corner drugstore without having him send my kid brother after me. If I had ever done anything to deserve all this suspicion, I wouldn't mind, but I have always been decent and I intend to stay that way. One of the things that is wrong with him is that he gambles all the time — plays the ponies. He comes in the door arguing and he goes out of the door arguing. He is always mad about something. I get along swell with my mother who is a darling person. My parents are still young; my father is only thirty-six and my mother is only thirty-four. My mother works hard to keep our house nice, but she never gets any thanks. I work after school, and all day Saturdays, so that I can buy all my own school clothes. Please, Miss Davis, can you tell me any way to get a happy home life for my mother and me? Yours truly, L. Dear Miss L.: Tin very much afraid that your father's conduct is not your problem ; it is your mother's responsibility. There is very little that you can do about this situation, it seems to me. until you are of age. Then, if your home life is still too uncomfortable, you can get a job and live apart from your parents. Here is one fact I think you might consider: The only way human beings can live together icith any success is to adapt themselves to conditions. Differences of temperament are very usual things in most families. I don't think there is any doubt that your mother loves your father and I think you must love him, too, or you wouldn't be so worried about his behavior. Don't make yourself miserable over his shortcomings. Remember his good qualities, and he must have many or your mother wouldn't have married him since she is such a "darling person.' Yours truly, Bette Davis. FEBRUARY, 1943 fi»