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"January, ipjO
The National Guide to Motion Pictures
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OLD darky superstition: If you carry around a rabbit's foot you cannot have any hard luck.
Old motion picture superstition:
If you put a bum picture into a Broadway theater and charge two dollars a seat you can kid the public into thinking it is a great film, and exhibitors all over the country will run it in their theaters.
But sometimes the darky gets caught stealing chickens, just the same.
THE producers of "Woman to Woman," which was so bad that even Betty Compson couldn't save it, tried the Broadway hocus-pocus.
It had been running half an hour on its openingnight when one by one and two by two, then four by four, the audience got up and walked out.
A mother and her daughter were sitting on the aisle, and noticed the audience leaving the theater until it was half empty. Suddenly the mother became nervous, and turned quietly to the daughter.
"Do you know, Frances," she said, "I think I smell smoke. Everyone's leaving."
"No, mother," said the daughter. "Don't worry. It isn't smoke that smells. Let's go."
UpS and
■Shots
B
James R. Quirk
Mr. Mayer: " 'Lest We Forget.' "
Producer Thalberg: "No good. Reminds me you tipped me off to buy into General Motors. Now look at—"
Mr. Mayer: "Me? I told you to buy real estate. Now, when you put your money into real estate — "
a:
CTOR GILBERT: "How about telling me, out behind Stage Six, to steal my grandmother's gold fillings and put every thing on Radio? Yeah, it was going to 200 by Christmas. Look at — "
Mr. Vidor: "Look at nothing. He told
me to load up on A. T. & T. Always giving
advice."
Mr. Mayer: "Iszatso? And what about the time
at the 'Hallelujah' opening you told me you had an
inside tip on Anaconda — that the coppers were due
for — "
Just then the telephone rang. Mr. Thalberg, being farthest away, picked up the receiver, listened a moment and screamed :
"Only two thousand for a Rolls-Royce that's only been to two premieres? All right. I'll sell, but those dirty so and so's can't have Norma's Packard for less than five hundred."
A VERBATIM report of a big scenario conference. Gathered in the sound-proof office and interrupted only by groans of famous author in next room, the brains of the studio get down to work.
Producer Mayer: "Well, boys, let's forget our troubles. We have here a good story by Frances Marion. She'll sell it cheap because she wants quick cash to buy U. S. Ste.el before it starts up again."
Director Vidor: "Cash, eh? Ha! Ha! I'm leffing. Well, what's the title?"
MR. MAYER : " Tell the operator to cut out the telephone. We gotta work on this story." Mr. Vidor: "My God, no. I'm expecting my broker to call any minute."
Mr. Mayer : " What the hell is this — a story conference or a bucket shop? If you dumbbells had taken my advice and bought real es — "
Mr. Gilbert : " Rats. Did you hear Al Jolson's new song :
Margin, Margin, 1 hear you calling, I'm sad and broke and blue."
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