Photoplay (Jan-Jun 1960)

JERRY LEWIS Continued from, page 39 though he were trying to reassure himself, he said out loud. “I don’t think I’m dead. And I think I should know. After all, I somebody oughta ask me about it. But then,” he added, “how could you tell you were dead? This is exactly the kind of thing even your best friend wouldn’t tell you.” He finished dressing (somehow a body looks better that way), and decided to call Patti. She’d tell him the truth. He dialed. The line was busy, so he sat down to wait. Being dead, he realized, was enough to start a guy thinking. Like what if he weren’t dead but nobody would believe him? He could see himself in a hospital. The waiting room was crowded and the nurse wouldn’t pay any attention to him. He kept yelling, “But I’ve got to see a doctor. I’ve got to see a doctor. Can’t you see I’m dead?” But the nurse wasn’t impressed; she just kept putting her fingers up to her lips, and with a shh pointed to the SILENCE sign that hung over her desk. Then the scene changed; he saw himself on a long slim board that looked like an operating table. A doctor, with a long beard, leaned over him while another one, with a big carving knife, shook his head sadly. Obviously, they were getting ready for the autopsy. “Yes, yes, he is dead,” everybody agreed; everybody, that is, but him. Every time he tried to tell them, he could tell that, like the nurse outside, they didn’t believe him. Finally, he jumped off the table, getting away from their clutches, and ran all the way down the corridor just as fast as his feet could carry him. The doctors and nurse followed him; he couldn’t find a door to escape and then. . . . The phone rang. He jumped up from his chair. Was he dreaming? He couldn’t tell. He picked up the telephone. Someone calling from the Paramount publicity department. Would he talk to the members of the press? Nobody would believe them, the man kept saying, nobody would believe that Jerry Lewis was alive. The telephone board was overloaded with calls. “Jerry Lewis is alive,” he heard one of the secretaries at the other end of the phone insist to a magazine editor. “In fact,” he heard her say, “he’s talking to us over the phone right now. Unless he’s plugged in from way out, he’s alive!” “See what I mean, Jer,” complained the publicity man. “Nobody believes us. We’ve had over three hundred calls in the last half-hour. We don’t even know how the rumor started.” “Probably this morning at that meeting, when I didn’t say anything for three minutes, everybody thought I was dead,” Jerry gagged. “Will you take some calls?” the man asked. “There’s someone who says he’s a friend of yours calling now.” “Sure,” said Jerry. It was a newspapercolumnist friend calling from New York. He was speaking very solicitously. “Hey what’s the matter?” Jerry yelled: “What’s the matter? You’re talking so nice to me ... is it because you think I’m dead? Well, if you want to know the truth, I don’t think I am.” “But you must be,” the fri nd insisted. “It came over the Dow-Jones teletype from the West Coast and was announced on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange that you died of a heart attack.” “See, what did I tell you?” Jer told himself. “Nobody’ll believe you. The doctor didn’t believe you, neither did the nurse, The wonderful new 1960 Photoplay Annual is now available. Here is Hollywood’s most exciting book of the year. Here are hundreds of thrilling pictures, as well as exclusive stories about everybody of importance in the movie world. ON THE RECORD — Pages and pages of pictures and stories of the big news events of Hollywood. The marriages, divorces, separations, reconciliations, births and deaths. 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Or, mail coupon with 50 ? — today. , I Bartholomew House, Inc. Dept. WG-360 I | 205 E. 42 St., New York 17, N. Y. I Send me PHOTOPLAY ANNUAL 1960. [ I enclose 50c. | I [ Name | | (Please Print) ; I Address — j • City State ; EXCLUSIVE STORIES ABOUT . . . THE HOLLYWOOD YEAR