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Tab Hunter
my best. But at this moment I feel like running in the opposite direction!"
Then he wondered where he'd be and "what I'll be like ten years from now." Art — Tab — promised to tell all, if he and Jerry both happened to be around in 1961. True to his word, and on his recent thirtieth birthday, he took time out to explore the depths of his innermost thoughts. Following: Tab Hunter's intimate revelations in his own uninhibited words told to Jerry just before he left for Rome to make a picture.
Who am I . . ?
After kicking around for thirty years, what a question to be asking one's self ! But at least I know why I'm asking. Personally and professionally, I think I've hit the crossroads. Run out of identification, as it were. Art Gelien sure got lost along the way, and Tab Hunter seems to have deserted me. Temporarily — I hope !
Like I said, I know why — if that helps. For one thing, losing my TV series after only one season really rocked my soul. Maybe it wasn't the greatest, but I loved doing it and I learned a lot. There's a story behind the story. They kept putting on new writers and producers, so we never got anyplace. Stanley Shapiro, of "Operation Petticoat " and "Pillow Talk" fame, created the idea and we were rolling. When Stanley pulled out, other writers failed to understand the original concept and the show became consistently inconsistent. I keep telling myself that most of the biggest names in television lost their series, too. Like June Allyson, Loretta Young and Steve McQueen. Still doesn't make up for that gnawing, unmitigated sense of defeat.
About Work . . .
It's my secret weapon for survival.
Even felt this way back then when I was squeezing oranges behind that juice stand on Hollywood Boulevard. And always felt great doing my series. Literally thought I'd explode — just waiting for dawn to break, to dash off to the studio and to work.
Now I wonder if my luck is running out. Sure I'm handed scripts. Mostly dull, no-challenge, nothing-type parts. But I'm geared for hard work, which is why I'm off to Rome and Egypt to make "The Golden Arrow." Maybe it isn't a dream part, but it's work — and who has a choice? Insecurity sets in when you ' re out of a j ob , when you don ' t feel needed and wanted — period. Hate leaving the local scene, but Europe has the action these days. Will still pay taxes in U.S.A. and that's for sure. Whether you're learning to pilot a jet 707, or learning to walk — just knowing you belong somewhere is terribly important for morale.
Home Life . . .
How I love it — even though everything ' s in storage and I 'm fresh out of a roof overhead. Love possessing but not being possessed by my treasured collections. Japanese panels, bronzes, screens from Tibet, wooden Buddahs and such. I knew how much I ' d miss them, but had to escape fast from that nightmare house I formerly occupied in the valley. Needed to recapture a feeling of freedom. Freedom from what? Freedom from "neighborly" prying eyes that caused all the trouble. From man's intolerance toward man — from injustice and persecution that exposed me to all the indignities of a public trial on a dog-beating charge. A not-guilty verdict still leaves invisible scars. All you have to do is learn to live with them — while they (Continued on page 68)