Photoplay (Jan-Jun 1963)

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Men’s or ladies’ Birth Stone rings $2.97. Men’s initial or Masonic rings $3.95. Ladies’ cultured pearl rings $2.97. Money back guarantee. $ I, K ZIRCON COMPANY. Otpt.'PA 3615 Forest Garden Av., Baltimore 7, Md. p 88 gravy Masts* Try this new use Brush on steaks, hamburgers both sides before cooking. Compare taste & eye appeal. Member Brand Names Foundation The night before he’d heard Gleason tell the people in the club that whatever gravy was left over after they’d eaten would be bottled and sold as wallpaper paste. The chef’s reaction to Jackie’s sharp tongue was mild compared to that of a fat. balding man who came into the club one evening. The customer heckled Jackie and Jackie gave him the needle right back. The MC’s barbs were crude but they also were effective. “I dare you to come outside,” the customer yelled up at the MC. Jackie grinned bravely. This would be a cinch. Why, he was bigger, younger and fatter than this guy. Nothing to it. Jackie was right. There was nothing to it. “I never knew what hit me. Later on, they told me it was Tony Galento.” (Galento, in case you don’t remember, came close to being heavyweight champion of the world.) At least Galento was a pro, and being kayoed by him was no disgrace. But when he made that first trip to Hollywood, to have his ego battered and bruised by the studio people — that really hurt. When he was dropped by the studio after “Desert Hawk” he decided to at least put Hollywood behind him in style. He’d come out by train — with a wallet full of Baby Ruth wrappers; he was going back to New York by plane. But the plane crash-landed at Phoenix and Jackie was stuck out in the middle of nowhere. The other passengers prepared to transfer to another plane and go on to New York. But that wasn’t for him. He could tell an ill omen when it hit him. The trouble was that he wouldn’t be able to get a refund on his ticket until weeks later, and here he was with just a few dollars in his pocket and not even a Baby Ruth to call his own. But wait a minute! He had a check book; he was the Great Gleason. Easy. He’d cash a check. An ace in Phoenix The airline turned him down; a bunch of banks turned him down; and he was forced to go from store to store along the main street of Phoenix trying to find a yokel who would recognize the Great One and accept his check. Finally, in a hardware store, he ran into the man he was looking for. A patron of the arts. A devotee of the cinema. A guy who said “sure” as soon as he was asked. But hold everying — this Ace was a Joker; he didn’t take the Great Gleason at face value. Positive identification? “Sorry, pal, I packed so fast I left all my important papers in Hollywood.” But just as he was telling the hardware guy this, Jackie Gleason happened to look across the street. There it was, the miracle! A marquee with the title “Navy Blues” on it. “I’m in that one,” Jackie said. “Fine,” said the Joker who was beginning to be an Ace again. “Let’s go across and examine the still pictures behind the glass out front. That’ll be proof positive that you are who you say you are.” Across the street they went. But Jackie’s photo wasn’t among those in the “comeon” scenes. “A silly oversight. . . . Jealousy among the cast . . . Can’t understand it.” “Okay,” said the hardware guy, “why don’t we go in and see you?” Jackie, always the big-shot, plunked down his last two bucks for tickets, and in they went. “Navy Blues” had been on more than an hour; through the rest of the film Gleason didn’t appear in a single shot. “It’s the cut version,” he hrumphed. “Those so-called stars were so jealous that they threw their weight around and had my big scenes edited out.” The hardware guy was patient. They’d see the picture again from the start. But first there was a newsreel. And a cartoon. And a full-length mystery. And coming attractions. And an intermission for the patrons to buy stuff from the stand at the back of the theater. The hardware man said he was hungry; and Jackie, always the gracious host, dug down in his pocket, found fifteen cents and bought his guest a bag of popcorn. The coming attractions flashed on and off. Then the title “Navy Blues” appeared on the screen, followed by a listing of the cast of characters. “See! See! There’s my name!” he yelled as “Jackie Gleason” loomed up and dissolved instantly. But he didn’t see. His nose was deep in the popcorn bag and he was fishing out the last crumb from the bottom. A third of the film went by. No Gleason. Suddenly, looking like a walrus in Navy whites, he covered the whole screen. “See? See?” he pounded the other guy on the back. “There I am. See?” “That’s you, all right,” the store owner said, “you’re fatter in real life.” “Good. Fine. Let’s go, pal. The check?” “Sure. But let’s wait to the end of the picture. I never leave in the middle.” Away he went . . . Jackie waited. Once he dropped his hand carefully to the floor and picked up the paper bag the hardware guy had discarded. He ran his fingers all around inside it. He hadn’t left a crumb! Early the next morning Jackie sat in the Phoenix station waiting for the milk-train that was to take him to New York. Automatically he munched on his fifth Baby Ruth. Finally, the train whistle broke in on his thoughts. He went over to a gum dispenser and straightened his tie in the reflection of the dusty mirror. Then he cocked his hat and strode slowly towards the tracks. In his mind he had a vision of his return to New York: he’d have his suit pressed and his hat blocked and get a shave at Grand Central; then he’d borrow some money from his agent and after that he’d take a taxi to Toots’ “saloon” and buy a round of drinks for everyone (he’d spend hours there telling the gang about his Hollywood triumphs) ; and he’d have his agent send his autographed picture to that Ace in Phoenix. . . . “All aboard!” the conductor shouted. “Hold it a second, pal,” Gleason called. He hurried back to the waiting room, put five pennies in a machine and slipped five squares of chocolate into his pocket. Then, a smile on his face, he sauntered out to the train. As he climbed the steps of the coach, he said over his shoulder to the conductor, “Okay, pal. Tell the engineer I’m ready . . . And away we go!” — Jim Hoffman Jackie stars in “Gigot” for 20th and “Papa’s Delicate Condition” for Paramount.