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Voyager
( Continued jrom page 59) The stage wasn’t what it seemed. He hated it. He wanted to get away. Fast. So he’d turned to his second love, the sea. He had no illusions about that. He knew it was imperfect. Fascinating in its ever-changing moods. High waves that slapped you down. Then clear, beautiful and serene.
The pull between theater and ocean had always been a tough one for Van since the years he spent with his grandmother in Long Beach, California, when he was going to high school. She was a colorful woman, . highly imaginative, with salt in her veins. She lived next door to the head of the Seamen’s Employment Bureau and Van spent his Saturdays over there listening to tall tales.
His grandmother, who’d always wanted to travel, was delighted that summer when the fourteen-year-old Heflin signed up to ship out on a fishing schooner for Mexico. From there on, she was always getting her National Geographic down, marking the places where he was going and making him bone up on them. When he came back she’d listen eagerly while he described what he had seen. Van always took his camera along and made snapshots.
HE went back to Oklahoma University and studied drama, then shipped out two years later on a cargo boat for the Panama Canal. It was when he landed back in New York that he met Channing Pollock and Richard Boleslavski and got the chance he’d always dreamed of. And failed. And went back to sea.
This then was what he wanted. To visit foreign countries, learn their peoples and languages. He took books along with him to study. A LaSalle Extension course in law. He could be a maritime lawyer. A good one. So wherever the boat would dock Van would spend his time ashore in libraries, studying native periodicals, talking to people, visiting points of interest.
He’d had three years on shipboard and was qualified now for his third mate’s ticket. But he knew it was not for him. He was beginning to drift. He hadn’t cracked a book the last two trips out. And this one to China clinched it. You didn’t have to go to Shanghai to see what he saw. He’d seen the same thing in Chinatown in Frisco the night before. A bar.
He thought of the letter from Boleslavski. The wise director, who knew how talented Heflin was, followed him all along on his voyages with philosophy and advice. “Stay at sea until you can’t help coming back to the stage,” he’d last written. “Then you won’t have illusions. The stage will be bigger than you are and you’ll be glad to be a part of it. Now you want the stage to be part of you. Stay until you’re sure.”
Yes, the time had come. All day long Van walked among the joshing sailors and the familiar maritime atmosphere. By nighttime he knew what he wanted. Second loves were not enough. He would go back with humility determined to make himself measure up to the stage, instead of expecting it to measure down to him.
Once Van arrives at a verdict, whether it concerns his future, a political issue, or a script that doesn’t add up, there’s no compromise. “There can’t be,” he says. “It would be the end of me to myself.” Which rates him as an individualist and in occasional instances the tag of “difficult.”
However, the day was to come when he almost reasoned himself out of Holly
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