Photoplay (Jan-Jun 1951)

Claudette Colbert’s next picture is “Bonaventure” WHAT SHOULD I DO? your problems answered by Claudette Colbert EAR MISS COLBERT: I married while I was still very young. My husband is the perfect mate, and is in every way an ideal father. About four years ago my eldest son became ill, so I took him to the new doctor in our vicinity. I can’t explain what happened to me when I caught sight of him for the first time. My hands shook and I was afraid I wasn’t going to be able to control my voice. To a casual observer, I feel certain that the entire episode passed in a routine fashion: A young mother much worried about her child and expressing her gratitude to the man who was able to provide immediate aid. Since then I have taken one or the I other of the children to this doctor for treatment. I suppose that, in four years, I have seen him a dozen times on a professional basis, and three or four times at social functions. He is unmarried. I don’t believe I love him, because I am i still deeply in love with my husband. However, I dream of this man a great deal, I find myself thinking about him all through the day, and once I called my husband by this man’s name. This doctor has never given me so much as a second look, which is exactly as I want it. However, I am suffering from a feeling of guilt. Can you explain this? Nancy S. If don’t think you should feel the slightest sense of guilt as a result of your response in this case. I believe it isn’t this specific man who htts awakened your emotion. What you see in him is the shadow of some beloved person of long ago. If you will consider him facially, think of his voice, his mannerisms, you will probably find that he has a combination of traits with which you were familiar in childhood . Perhaps his voice is like that of your father, or a beloved uncle. Perhaps he reminds you of some fictional character, pictured in a romance you read when you were in your impressionable teens. At ome time in the life of almost all of us, we meet a person who coincides so clearly with our retained image of someone from an earlier period in our lives, that we say, “I feel as if I had known you always.” Because the relationship between you and your husband is extremely close and comradely, you might even mention to > him the fact that the young doctor recalls someone to your mind. He may have spotted the resemblance which lias escaped you. In any case, don’t worry about it and don’t feel guilty. Claudette Colbert Dear Miss Colbert: I am twenty-five and considered quite attractive. I am in love with a man twenty-eight. He is divorced and has one child, three. When I first met him, I saw him three or four times a week and he often spoke of finding a good mother for his little girl, of establishing a home, of marrying and settling down. We went together for eight months, steadily, then his calls for dates became more widely spaced until I was seeing him only once every two weeks. Finally, our romance was continued only because I telephoned him occasionally to keep in touch. A few weeks ago he stopped at my house for a few minutes one evening and I blurted out my love for him and asked why he treated me so horribly. He seemed shocked and sorry for me. He almost cried and said he didn’t know how he felt about me, but that he had decided he didn’t want to marry again. When he left, he was like a little boy who has just seen his pet dog run over by a car. I haven’t heard from him since, although he promised to call. Do you think he returns my love, but is afraid of being hurt again or do you think he is one of those men who just can’t let himself go? Neapola O. You made a serious mistake in technique when you “ blurted out” your love for this man before he had given you a clue to his own feelings. There are exceptions to the rule but in general, a man prefers to do his own hunting. Since time began, it has been a male privilege to pursue. I wouldn’t say this was fair ; I would only say that things are arranged in that way and when you attempt to coerce a man into declaring an emotion which he doesn’t feel, you are attempting to revoke nature. If the man is so tender-hearted that he tries to please you, your marriage will be difficult to hold together, because he will feel trapped. Interest yourself in other things — find a new hobby, cultivate a new circle of friends, and profit by this experience. It won’t be too easy at first but keep trying and you’ll be well repaid for your effort. Claudette Colbert Dear Miss Colbert: I am very much in love with a man of twenty-four, and I have reasons for thinking he is in love ( Continued on page 26) I'M THE RUGABOO! I'LL GRIND THOSE DIR T TRACKS INTO THE FIBERS OF HER RUG BEFORE SHE VACUUMS ON SATURDAY-.1 CURSES! 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