Photoplay (Jan-Jun 1953)

p Milk of Magnesia provides better rebefmore complete relief than single -purpose laxatives which have no effect on the acid indigestion that usually accompanies constipation. For Milk of Magnesia relieves both conditions. Two to four tablespoonfuls taken at bedtime work leisurely — without embarrassing urgency. So, when morning comes, you start the day feeling wonderful. Get Phillips’ Milk of Magnesia — the best laxative fPHILLIPS’= LuXOF MACNESh liquid or Tablets jrnufHHiFO>c uimal PHJLUPS’ ^ Of TABLETS IVIAGNESIA money can buy. The convenient 4-ounce size. . . The economical 12-ounce size. . . The moneysaving 26'ounce size. . . Also available in tablet form 30 tablets .25i 50i 7Si fluttered her eyelids and fainted dead away. The helpless type, I told myself, was not for me. I don’t mean to sound choosy about all this. My wife is going to have to live with an Irish temper and German stubbornness, and on top of it all, I squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle. Not only that, I sling wet bath towels over doorknobs or Chippendale chairs or whatever happens to be handy when I wander out of the shower. And the water from my showers, I might add, always ends up by the bucketful all over the floor. I tease, too, and I suppose sometimes I go beyond the limits. If a girl can’t stand to hear knuckles crack. I’m just the kid who can do it for her. Betty Abbott, a script girl at the studio, gets duck bumps if anybody closes one eye and leaves the other wide open. So I spend five minutes on each of our dates like a one-eyed owl while she shrieks for help. I tease Betty about her walk, too, even though it makes her furious, and then I talk her out of it by teasing some more. I suppose I’m only letting off steam after going through boyhood as an only child and not having anybody around to plague. There’s one thing about Betty, though, that I can’t resist — her sense of humor. Take the night I was driving her to some place in downtown Los Angeles. “You’re sure you know how to get there?” she asked. “Look,” I said. “I used to drive a truck around this town, remember?” So we got in my car and every time I took a wrong turn Betty just sat there and said nothing. Pretty soon I wound up on the freeway leading to Pasadena and as soon as I realized it I made a quick turn out of there, hoping Abbott hadn’t noticed. Her face was buried in the collar of her coat and I was telling myself happily that she might be asleep when suddenly she threw back her head and went into hysterics. That’s all. She never once said, “I told you so.” She just laughed. For me, this is great. I guess I’m typical of all men when I say I can’t stand having women tell me how to do something. If I’m driving the car I’m at the wheel and don’t take kindly to backseat driving. And when I get married. I’m afraid Tm going to be even less open to suggestions. If there’s a lamp in the house that needs fixing I’d like to find out about it myself, and when I do. I’ll fix it. But if the little woman brings up the subject every hour on the hour, we’re apt to sit around in the dark. Like I said. I’m stubborn. I know this is asking too much, but I think it would be delicate handling of the situation if in-^ stead of telling me about it she would put the book I am reading, plus a swiss cheese on rye, on the chair under that lamp. The bait would lead me to it and it would be fixed in no time. I have an open admiration for women who can get a man to carry out their wishes by making him think this is what he wants. Not many of them can do it, but those who can have my blessing. Even when I know I’m being steered around corners so that they can reach their goal, I get a bang out of it. I’ve lived long enough to know that I’m not going to be the boss in marriage, but if the httle woman wants to let me think I am, it’s fine with me. I only hope she doesn’t use tears as a weapon. I’ve known enough girls to be aware that sometimes they cry just to get their own way, but even though I know it, a woman’s tears make me helpless as a man watching his home go up in flames. I want to help but I can’t, and it’s a terrible feeling. When a girl turns on the tears I just go away somewhere. The tactic that makes me angry is the one where, when you’re discussing a point with a girl, she stops the argument unfairly. This is done by sticking to her guns until the guy says, “How do you know?” And then she gets a mysterious look on her face and says in a faraway voice, “Because I am a woman.” This is supposed to make me adore her no doubt, because she’s up on that well-worn pedestal, but its only result is to make me boil. Even though the man may be right, what can he say after that? I like a girl who’ll discuss things with me on a level that is fair and square. According to cartoonists, people who have been married a few years haven’t anything left to talk about, but I hope my own marriage isn’t like that. To me, every day brings new food for thought and conversation, and, if my bride has the kind of personality I like in a girl, we’ll be nattering away into our old age. It is my wholeheairted wish, however, that she will not be an authority on anything. This is mostly because I’m not one myself. I’ll listen to anything once, understand, but I appreciate girls who don’t take malicious glee in driving home the point that I am an ignorant cipher. There is just one more point concerning conversation that Tm fussy about. If she is a joke killer, she can go trundling on her wet-blanket way. It seems to me there are two types of women to come under this heading (and men, too, if I have to admit it). The first wife lets the old man get half way through his story and ^ fta OHC ta twipt ta said countless people facing a hard-to-solve situation — until they heard their very prohlem solved on radio’s “My True Story.” For this true-to-life program presents, in vivid dramatic form, real problems of real people — directly from the files of “True Story Magazine.” When you listen, you’ll hear everyday situations involving such emotions as love, hope, fear, jealousy . . . you’ll meet the kind of people you’ve known all your life. TUNE IN //» tf i AMERICAN BROADCASTING STATIONS r Be sure fo read this fragic story, "CHILDLESS — / TURNED TO ANOTHER MAN" — in the June issue of TRUE STORY Magazine — on sale everywhere. 92