The Photo-Play Journal (Jul 1919-Feb 1921)

8 Photo-Play Journal "Florence, of course, liked that as much as a doughboy likes to hear a Y. M. C. A. lecture on how to be upright though starving. But it gives Sam an idea. He was servin' tea at the time and hears the whole spiel, which was as the rich widow Smythe intended. And later on he gets the rich widow Smythe aside and he talks to her a bit. Meantime, the General and Dumont was buzzin' over the coffee or the tea or whatever^ they serve on Fifth Avenue in place of the good old growler, and they decide they know how to play Sam's game for him. Says Dumont : " 'Rich Widow Smythe, you can do us a service. Slip that McGinnis guy what's butlering around here a bit of the flossy looks you have. Shine up to him. Smile like you was gettin' a diamond lavalliere from the Crown Prince for buyin' fifty-one Liberty Bonds instead of fiftytwo. Flirt with him, get me, flirt?' "Net result, rich widow Smythe flirts, tells Sam she knows who he is even if he don't, and the beans is spilled all over the ten thousand dollar rug of old man Denham. And bein' as how Sam and the rich widow Smythe both has the same idea, she wants to flirt because she likes him ana he wants to flirt because he wants to make Florence jealous, they gets on better than the Smith Brothers Cough Drops family. And then, when the rich widow Smythe turns to Florence and tells her that her man Jenkins the butler is so adorable that she is thrilled from the little toe on her left foot to the peroxide that sticks out just behind her switch of real hair bought at Macy's for $4.98, Florence is so delighted that if her eyes were knives the rich widow Smythe would have the same sensation as prickly heat only deeper. "And the rich widow Smythe openly makes a date with Sam, right out in front of Florence. "Exit for the bunch leavin' Florence and Sam standin under the spot-light. And a family spat begins right there. The only trouble was that Billy musta got lost somewhere or got taken for a billiard ball and shot into a pocket for the evenin'. Anyhow, now he comes troopin' in, hearin' the dispute and the threats to throw the furniture that Sam and Florence was makin'. "Florence," sez he, 'I'm not goin' to let any damn impudent butler be fresh to you.' "And Sam forgets. He turns on Billy and snaps out, "'Sergeant Arkwright, attention!' "And Billy, thinkin' he was doin' K. P. in Camp Upton, shoots his hand to his head in salute. Then Sam sez; ' 'I'm Lieutenant McGinnis — ' And the game was up. "Billy beat it, of course. But Florence was mad as the Kaiser when he went into his throne room and found some Yank eatin' peanuts and spillin' the shucks all over the floor. ' 'Do you think you can make a joke of my friendhumiliate me — break your word — flirt with another woman before my eyes?' "Sam laughs: 'You are goin' on like a spoiled child." "And she left the room." "Well, anyhow, as I was savin', that night she ups and elopes with Billy Arkwright. The only trouble was that she didn't get married before eloping and she took good care to have a maid around in case Billy got too fresh. Down in Palm Beach or one of them swell dumps they lands, and after spendin' two days with Billy she was so sick of him she would have given him her pet poodle and thirteen war savings stamps if he would have gone off for a walk in the Atlantic Ocean. She even told him he was on probation, out of the guard house, as it were, and she didn't intend to marry him until she got good and ready. "As for Sam, he tells the tale to the General and the General tells the tale to Dumont, and there is a big confab and Dumont says, 'Why, McGinnis,' sez he, 'you're just the man I want." ' 'But 1 want my wife first,' sez Sam. "Well they all start for Palm Beach on the way to {Continued on page 55)