Photoplay (Jul-Dec 1963)

At the very moment this is being written, Joan Collins (you remember her— she’s the gal who was all set to become Mrs. Warren Beatty; that was before Natalie Wood moved into Warren’s life and edged Joan out) and Anthony Newley (he's the thirtyone-year-old British-born writercomposer-actor-crooner who nightly breaks the hearts of Broadway audiences when he sings the song he wrote, "What Kind of Fool Am I?,’’ in the show he wrote, "Stop the World— I Want to Get Off’’) have been man and wife for several weeks. At the very moment this is being written, Bob Wagner (he’s Natalie’s ex-husband and the guy who lost her to Warren) and Marion Donen (she’s the ex-wife of Stanley Donen— remember him? He almost married Liz Taylor, post-Nicky Hilton and pre-Mike Todd), are at last free to marry, now that Bob’s divorce from Natalie is final. So for Joan (who, not so long ago, was the woman discarded) and her Tony— and for Bob (who, not so long ago, was the husband betrayed) and his Marion— the orchestra is playing love songs and the party’s just beginning. But for Natalie (the woman who ditched Bob and snatched Warren from Joan), and for Warren (the man who gave Joan the gate and stole Natalie from Bob), as this is being written— the love song has turned sour, the thrill is gone, and their party, which blazed from Coast to Coast and from continent to continent, seems over. For them it's three o’clock in the morning: the ashtrays are filled with burned-out butts, the liquor glasses are empty, and there’s no tomorrow. Their "torrid romance’’ seems finished . . . washed up . . . pffft. At this very moment . . . hey, wait— but what about a minute from now ... or a day ... or a week ... or a month. What then? Who will be going with, and doing what to whom? And why? And where? And for how long? Oh, no. You don’t get us to fall into that trap. The present is confusing and changing enough. The past, if we examine the hodge-podge of interrelationships, combinations and permutations involving the foursome of Joan, Natalie, Bob and Warren, is a mess. So that in predicting the future we can only say definitely that the future is ahead. But you say that there must be a pattern to all this, that by analyzing the past and examining the present we can predict the future and figure out what Joan and Natalie and Bob and Warren will do next. That’s logical. Suppose we start by breaking the past up into units. We’ll call them, for our purpose, episodes. Episode I: The time is far away and long ago. The principal players are Natalie Wood and Nicky Hilton. Natalie, still a youngster, is already a veteran of the romantic wars. She’s been in and out of love with Scott Marlowe, Perry Lopez, Nick Adams, Sal Mineo, Dennis Hopper, Tab Hunter and Jimmy Dean. Then along comes Nicky Hilton. He’s super-smooth. His little black book is filled with the names of Hollywood’s loveliest, with only one name XXXed out, that of Liz Taylor, whom he married and then divorced. Soon Natalie is not just another name in his book; she’s the name. He gives her the full champagne-and-dancing-at-Mocambo treatment. But the play boy isn’t playing. This is for real. Even the columnists are convinced, and they predict wedding bells certainly will be ringing for Natalie and Nicky very soon. Enter Joan. A green-eyed, brown-haired, not-so-gay divorcee. She looks at Nicky. Nicky looks at her. And the sparks fly. The smoke clears. The not-sogay divorcee is now happy. The playboy has XXXed out another name, Natalie, from his little black book and has circled Joan’s in red. And the bride-to-be becomes the bride-that-wasn’t and retires to whatever island is reserved for gals who almost were elected Miss Rheingold and for other near-winners like that. In due time Joan and Nicky call it a night, but not before the columnists had also predicted that their wedding was imminent. Analysis: Easy. In the romantic wars Joan has too many weapons for Natalie and can out-woman her every time. Or, if you’re keeping score, at the end of the first inning (episode) it’s Joan Collins— 1, Natalie Wood— 0. Episode II: The time is not so very far away and not so very long ago. The principal players are Joan Collins and Bob Wagner. Joan and Bob had dated on and off since she first came to Hollywood to test for “Lord Vanity” with him. But now, where before they simmered, they’re sizzling. To judge by the columns, it’s only a matter of days before they’ll walk down the center-aisle together. This one’s for real. Enter Natalie. Poof— out goes the flame between Joan and Bob, and their romance is as cold as yesterday’s wedding predictions. Now the columns are filled with new marriage predictions for Bob —except (Please turn the page)