Photoplay (Jul-Dec 1947)

% Parties I Can't Forget HEADACHE RELIEF ! COMES FAST WITH NEW “BC” TABLETS Same famous formula I as “BC” Powders The same — both of them. "BC” powders and tablets. The same famous formula, the same fast relief. Headaches, neuralgic pains and minor muscular aches are quickly relieved. Two tablets equal one powder. On sale everywhere. Help yourself to this quick relief today! Caution: use only as directed. ( Continued from page 49) comes to the top,” said Bergen. “So does scum,” said Charlie. At approximately this time, or it might have been a few nights later at some other party, I said to my Beautiful Wife, “I must be drunk, but that looks like Rudy Vallee singing with that dance band.” “You’re drunk all right,” my B.W. said, “but it IS Rudy Vallee.” “I’m going to stay anyway,” I said. We had other magnificent entertainment such as Jack Benny sawing his violin, Kay Kyser making jokes, Eddie Bracken doing his baseball bit, Ginny Simms and Frances Langford doing a wonderful duet, and one of the columnists doing his specialty (slapping himself on the back) . MY B.W. went to the ladies’ room and wandered into a room where she found thirteen 1934 Atwater Kent radios that had never been opened. She turned one of the radios on and got the Two Black Crows. Atwater Kent is one of Hollywood’s finest old fellows and is rapidly becoming legendary, which is a pretty high-toned word for a piece like this. Anyway, this legend says he always says “Charming” to everybody no matter what they’re talking about which is supposed to be absentmindedness. One time one of his guests apologized to him for not having been present at recent parties, explaining that her mother had died. “Charming,” said Mr. Kent. As I say this is a legend, but when I spoke to him he didn’t say “Charming” to me — or could this be because I ain’t? Still, if Hollywood people like to fling their dough around, I’m glad to have them make some of it stick on me. Of course there are the small teenyweeny-weeny Hollywood parties too, at which hardly more than twenty-five guests are invited. Usually only eighty people can make it. (Yes, honey, there are crashers out here. Sonja Henie, at her parties, takes a pugnacious position at the door and chases away the people she hasn’t invited.) One night I went to a party in honor of the Howard Lindsays of “Life with Father” fame. It was given by Armancl Deutsch and his B.W., Benay Venuta. “Bring a present,” I was told by Mrs. Frank Loesser. “What?” I said. “Something they couldn’t possibly use.” “You mean that?” “Oh yes, something that is absolutely useless.” My B.W. got a feather duster and put some flowers in it and made it look like a gorgeous bouquet. Billy Brackett brought a stuffed eagle with a six-foot wingspread. (Larry Adler brought a grandfather’s clock with the grandfather still in it.) An anonymous donor sent a toilet seat with the placard, “Do sit down.” It made a beautiful junk heap when it was all opened up and placed in a nice disorderly pile on the rug, where the guests were allowed to trip over it. Beholding all this, Abe Burrows, the gifted parodist and pianist, said, “Why there’s enough stuff here to furnish your own asylum!” Burrows sang a song to the Lindsays: “We’re glad you’re here today, We’re glad you’re here to stay, Why-in-hell didn’t somebody tell us That you had been away?” Burrows also favored with his new song titled: “Oh How We Danced on the Night We Were Wed, I Needed a Wife Like a Hole in the Head.” At most of these parties dress is optional, although it is of course wise to wear a little something, unless you are a prominent society lady or Gypsy Rose Lee. Women often wear long dresses and men can come in shorts if they wish. However, at a party given by the Danny Kayes, all the men wore dinner jackets. All, I should say, but me, for I lost my black tie. There was entertainment by Groucho Marx, Leo Durocher, Gene Kelly and George Burns, and then came a lull. We all wondered who would come next. Groucho turned to Claudette Colbert who was sitting there on a divan. “Claudette,” he said, “why don’t you do ‘The Egg and I’?” You can see from this brilliant description I have given you that a Hollywood party is innocent and virtuous. Men bring their wives — I would give their names but it would be very humiliating to their mistresses. Often you see some girl who came out to make her fortune or somebody who has one, but generally they are very nice orderly parties and the girls are the type that are respected and respectable — some are even the type you would take home to mother — but only if mother wasn’t home. Try to get to a Hollywood party some time, even if you have to crash one. You can crash them if I can. The End Do Dreams Come True? YES! Find out how you can get your fondest wish. Fabulous gifts awarded daily. LISTED* TO HEART’S DESIRE Daytime — Monday through Friday on the Mutual Network Ben Alexander, granter ct heart's desires. DRAMA HUMOR LOVE Do you want your dream to come true? Read the HEART’S DESIRE feature in this month s TRUE ROMANCE Magazine