Photoplay (Jul-Dec 1949)

YOUR PROBLEMS ANSWERED BY CLAUDETTE COLBERT What should I do? Claudette Colbert, star of “Three Came Home” EAR Miss Colbert: For three years. I have been dating a man who has frequently asked me to marry him, but I just can’t say yes. I am thirty. I own my own beauty shop. I live with my mother, father, sister and brother, and we are a very happy family. The man I go with is a trucker, divorced, and with two children. He claims that he doesn’t have to contribute to their support. He has no money saved, and recently bought a car on the installment plan. He lives at the Y.M.C.A., He admits that he is tired of restaurant food, and ready to settle down to home life. However, he says that he can’t support me, so I would have to go on working. What prospects do you think this marriage would have? Olga C. Every line of your letter is eloquent of the fad that you know this man is not right for you. What you really want to know is: Do I think that, because you are thirty , you should marry this man simply to be married. My dear , I certainly do not. In days gone by, literally hundreds of thousands of girls entered into loveless marriages which were doomed from the start simply because there was little for a girl to do except marry or teach school. We have emerged from the dark ages of thinking that there is only one ivay of life for a woman. You have a happy home life, living as you are now. Why trade it simply so you can add the title “Mrs.” to your name? A girl should marry only because she is in love with a man, believes he is in love with her, and they are agreed to be honest partners in a great adventure. Claudette Colbert Dear Miss Colbert: I hold a well-paying job in a large organization. During the past year, I have made dates with four girls in the office. A fifth girl has informed me that the four girls got together and compared notes as to what I said, what I did, and how much I spent on each. This burns me up and I don’t intend to ask them out again. Although I have never written this sort of letter before, it seemed to me that a woman of your influence might inform some of these eager babes that they talk themselves out of a lot of fun. Other men I know have had much the same experience. Understand, I didn’t make a play or a pass at any of the girls; my idea was comradeship. My opinion is that most men are more decent human beings than most girls. Joe Gripe First, I would like to point out that the fifth girl, who brought you a report of the conversation of the others must be suspected of trying to win your confidence by turning traitor to her sex. Aside from that warning, I will say only, that any man working in a large organisation is guilty of bad business practise if he attempts to date a series of fellow employees. He is certain to give the impression of being a wolf on the prowl. Claudette Colbert Dear Miss Colbert: I am eighteen and have been going with a boy for one year. This boy has never given me a present. My parents tell me that this is not right. I don’t care if he gives me anything or not, but I lie when people ask what he gave me so they won’t think him “cheap.” Would you please tell me what to do? Evelyn D. You reveal, by your letter, that you are sweet and fair-minded, but I think your parents are instilling in you some mistaken ideas about what to expect of a boy. First of all, it is incorrect for a girl, before she is engaged to a man, to accept any gift except flowers, books, or candy. It is a custom that has been found very useful. Among other things, it places no one under obligation. Finally, it is always a mistake to expect anything in the matter of gifts. Under no circumstances should you lie about gifts and do not hint for a gift. That would make you , not the boy, seem cheap. Claudette Colbert Dear Miss Colbert: I want very much to become a church member. The problem is, which church? You see, my family are not churchgoers, and only a few of my close friends attend church regularly, so I don’t know a great deal about the different faiths. Is there a course I could take that would teach me all about different religions so that I may make my own decision? Anita T. If you go to college, you will be able to satisfy your intellectual craving for such study, because nearly every college offers a course in “Comparative Religions.” Otherwise, there is no reason why you shouldn’t attend a different church every Sunday until you find one in which you feel at home. All liberal-minded people agree that every church is a house of God to which every sincere person may come and be assured of a warm welcome. Claudette Colbert ( Continued on page 72) 6