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Only one soap gives your skin this
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And Cashmere Bouquet is proved extra mild . . . leaves your skin softer, fresher, younger looking!
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LAUGHING
STOCK
BY ERSKINE JOHNSON
(See Erskine Johnson's “ Hollywood Reel ” on your local TV station .)
DOROTHY LAMOUR’S son, five-yearold Ridge, wore a cowboy suit to a movie. On his way home in the family car he wrestled a boot off and lifted out his foot. “What’s the matter?” asked Dottie.
“I gotta empty the popcorn out,” explained Ridge.
* * *
Sign on the rear of a ribbon-bedecked honeymoon auto:
“Till Draft Us Do Part.”
* * *
Hypochondriac: A person who winters in California and then worries because
he’s pale underneath his tan.
* * *
Hollywood producer to a young starlet he had just met for the first time: “Tell me all about yourself — your struggles, your dreams, your telephone number.”
* * *
Overheard: “Why don’t they let you play Francis the mule?”
* * *
Susan Peters read her young son, Tim, a book about animals and then decided to . test his new knowledge. She asked: “Tell me, Tim, about some things that are very i dangerous to get near to and have horns.”
“Automobiles,” Tim immediately answered.
* * *
Eve Arden on her wisecracking film portrayals:
“I was a flop till I was flip.”
* * *
Marquee sign: “Pardon My Sarong.” —
“It Ain’t Hay.”
* * *
Maureen O’Hara masquerades as a boy I in U-I’s “Flame of Araby.” When movie producers ask Maureen to impersonate a male, they’re overlooking a thing or two.
* * *
RKO inserted a page ad in a magazine asking for applicants for roles in a new movie. One gagsteress sent in her picture and wrote:
“I’m not beautiful, but I could certainly be the first female Humphrey Bogart.”
* * *
Walter O’Keefe’s theory:
“A wife is someone who helps her husband through troubles, trials and aggravation that he never would have gotten into if he hadn’t married her in the first place.”
* * *
Frank Fontaine after the wedding of a
Hollywood ham:
“They should be very happy together. They’re both so in love with him.”
* * *
Definition of anatomy: What everyone has but looks better on Jane Russell.
* * *
Young autograph hound, after getting
Howard Duff’s scrawl:
“Gosh, he’s the most illegible bachelor in Hollywood.”
* * *
Did you hear about the couple who
co-starred in one of those interplanetary science-fiction thrillers. Asked if they were planning to be married, they chorused: “No comet.”
J
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