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What should
/ do? your problems answered by Claudette Colbert
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Claudette Colbert of “Let’s Make It Legal”
Dear miss colbert:
The story I am about to tell you is, I’m afraid, beyond solution. I am a girl of twenty-one who grew up in a Southern state. My background is simply nothing. My parents live in a shack, no plaster on the walls, not even paint on anything.
During my grade school and high school days I had no friends because I had too much pride to bring them to my home; I am considered attractive and wanted to make something of myself, so I could have had dates, but I refused everyone. When I was out of school I secured a secretarial position and began to save up my money to invest in a real home so that my younger brothers and sisters would not have my experience. However, when I started to improve the house, my father simply raved. He said it was crazy to try to live in a nice way as he and mother throw things when they get mad, so the walls and rugs would be ruined in no time at all.
As soon as I had enough money, I left home and came to this large Eastern city to live with my aunt and uncle. They are substantial people who live well and have pride. Through them I have made wonderful friends. And through them I have met a man I want to marry. He has, in a very tactful way, queried me about my parents and why I live so far away from my own family. I am afraid to tell the truth for fear of losing him, but I am afraid not to tell the truth for fear of what he would say if he should happen to meet my family after we were married.
Duana O.
It seems to me that it is not necessary for you to give this man any particular information about your parents until he has asked you to marry him. If he is such a snob that he won’t propose until he is certain you had u great-great-grandparent on the Mayflower, he isn’t a person with ivhom you ivould be happy.
Since you are living with your aunt and uncle, you have a certain amount of evident background, and I think you should accept that as all the information to which anyone is entitled until a definite plan has been made to merge your family with that of your fiance.
You mustn’t be too critical of your parents. Actually they are merely old-fashioned. Three or four generations ago many American families lived in very modest homes: log cabins, sod houses, bat and board cottages. These people were so busy keeping body and soul together that they had no time for the refinements of life. Furthermore, in previous eras it has been customary for the father in many homes to dominate all members of the family in a tyrannical, sometimes even a brutal manner.
So, you see, your parents simply haven’t progressed with the times. They haven’t grown up. If you understand that, you will feel neither bitter resentment toward them nor inferiority in reference to your own position.
Claudette Colbert
Dear Miss Colbert:
I am twelve years old and unfortunately I have a brother, ten. We do not have many schools in our city, so he and I go to the same school. At recess or when we move from one class to another, from mechanical drawing, say, to social science and I walk with a boy, my brother Walter follows me and imitates everything I do. If I laugh, he laughs and unfortunately he can laugh exactly as I do.
He also pinches his jeans between his fingers and walks like a girl wearing a party dress. He pretends to make pin curls. And everyone thinks he is a scream. I do not agree and he is driving me crazy.
One time he even stole my lipstick which I was not supposed to have, anyhow, but I had scrimped on my cafeteria money to buy it, and he painted his lips and his eyebrows and he looked strictly hideous. But everybody laughed.
I would like to know how a girl who is almost in her teens can ever go steady and be popular when she is always followed by a little monster like my brother. Everyone says that he will change in time and that I will be glad to have a brother, but I’m afraid that I cannot wait that long.
Please tell me how I can escape from this unfortunate problem and have a happy life. Would yelling at him do any good?
Gertrude Ann O.
“ Unfortunately ” — as you say — I don’t think “yelling at him’’ would do the slightest good. I think he would imitate your yell and he would be considered even funnier than usual. You have only one defense: join in the fun. When he mimics you, laugh along with everyone else and suggest that he do the impersonation he worked out a week ago.
Undoubtedly you have seen the old comedy gag in which an actor decides to break down a door, hurls his full weight against it, and finds — as he falls flat on his face — that the door was open all the time. If you will be a sort of “open door,’’ you will find that anyone who tries to break down your resistance will land on his ear. Also: have some fun out of this. Don’t take yourself and your own dignity too seriously.
Claudette Colbert
Dear Miss Colbert:
I am engaged to be married in December to a very, very attractive man. I am thirtyone and he is four months younger. He comes from a wonderful family, has his degree from a good college, and is vicepresident in his father’s company. He served in the Air Force during the war and earned some top citations.
He has a fault — which is to be expected, I suppose. He flirts. For years (we have been engaged nearly four years) I steeled myself to ignore his flirting with every attractive woman we met at social functions. I thought, “Oh, well, he has a gay time with them, but he always comes back to me.” He never neglects me, and when we are alone he tells me that he loves me and ( Continued on page 6)
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