Photoplay (Jul-Dec 1952)

YOUR PROBLEMS ANSWERED BY WHAT SHOULD I DO? CLAUDETTE COLBERT Claudette Colbert of "Planter’s Wife” EAR Miss Colbert: I am twenty -eight and live with my parents. My father is a retired police officer. No girl could have a more devoted father, but his ideas of integrity and his love for me threaten my future. A year ago I was introduced to a man whom I liked at once and he has assured me that the feeling was mutual. After we had dated three or four months, he said he wanted to tell me his story. I knew that he had a fine job in a good company and was slated for a better job soon. I knew that his manners are perfect, that he attends church, and that he seems like a model citizen. It seems, though, that when he was in the Army, he got into a horrible jam. He paid his debt to society, and says he learned his lesson. He had a rough boyhood and got onto the wrong road by associating with a bad type in the Army. However, he is now going to night school to finish his education and he swears he is going to make a good life for himself and for the family he wants some day. He asked me to marry him. My folks are opposed to the whole idea. My father says that a man with a record is followed all his life by this shadow. Do you think I should listen to my parents and drop this man, resigning myself to growing old in my parents’ home and never having a life of my own, or should I make my own decision? Adrienne Y. In a case of your kind there are so many “ imponderables ” that it is difficult for a stranger to make a suggestion. So much of the future rests entirely with you. Are you strong enough to assume the responsibility for yourself, as an independent factor in society, and for your husband? He may be in need of bolstering, of warm-hearted trust, of blind devotion, at some time in the years to come. Have you been overprotected by a father who knew so well how bitter life can be? At twenty-eight, you should be wise enough to choose your own mate. You should know that many of the members of our armed forces were little more than high-spirited youngsters who, unthinkingly, committed acts which were punished by jail sentences. Their youth and devil-may-care spirit did not excuse them, but it did explain them someivhat. For some of these men, entire reformation is not only possible but logical and permanent. Sometimes the most impossible little wretches become corporation presidents, able, honorable, and of great value to their communities. However, make every effort to have him and your father come to some sort of friendly terms before you marry him. Emotional security and overall acceptance are important to a man rebuilding his life. Claudette Colbert Dear Miss Colbert: I’m a little tardy, but I just happened to read the January, 1952, issue of Photoplay, and I studied the letter from “The Reluctant Dragon” with interest. If you remember, he was complaining because every girl he met tried to marry him. They called him, they cooked dinner for him, they showered him with presents. I suppose he is very attractive and has a great deal to offer, and I imagine that it is true that some girls pursue him. However, there is another side to the story, and I’d like to state it on behalf of a great many girls. Forgive the personal reference, but that has to be the point of departure: I’m twenty-six, and termed attractive. I have a wonderful job which I love, a charming apartment, a hard-top convertible car (almost paid for) and a pleasant life. I cock when I feel like it. I dine out when the mood strikes me. I have a large circle of girl friends and an occasional date. I don’t want to get married. Eventually, perhaps. But why give up this easy, challenging, happy existence for an unknown life with a man? How do men like this set-up? Dandy. They agree that I’d be silly to get married, but how about an affair, huh? My health demands it; my complexion would benefit; I must not defy nature, etc. etc. Now I have a system. On a first date with a new man, I say pleasantly, “Incidentally, if you’ll forgive a brief speech, I think you should know that I don’t want to get married and that I don’t play house with anyone. If you want to be friends in the platonic sense of the word, I’m your girl.” The wolves and the phonies are disgusted; they call me frigid and spread the word. The nice men take me up on my offer of friendship. One day, a friend is going to come along and the first thing you know, I’ll change my mind about marriage. But I’m in no hurry. Just call me “Contented” Thank you for a delightful letter. So far, around 200 letters have been addressed to the “Reluctant Dragon ” and more than half of them would have inflicted third-degree burns. As nearly as I could make out, the consensus was that no one wanted to marry the “Reluctant Dragon ” but that there was the • most attractive boy in the senior class, or on the bus each morning, Have you a problem which seems to have no solution? Would you like the thoughtful advice of CLAUDETTE COLBERT? If you would, write to her in care of Photoplay, 321 S. Beverly Drive, Beverly Hills, Cal., and if Miss Colbert feels that your problem is of general interest, she'll consider answering it here. Names and addresses will be held confidential for your protection. or in the next office, or going to the same church, or .. . you know! I don't think the “ Reluctant Dragon ” bothered Cupid for a moment. Claudette Colbert Dear Miss Colbert: I am a guy fifteen years old, in plenty of trouble. When I was fourteen I liked this certain girl very much. I gave her my ring to wear. It happened that this ring was a very expensive one that my mother gave me for my birthday that year. Since I gave this girl my ring, she and I have had a fight and decided to break up for good. I asked her to return it, but she refused. She said it was only a cheap ring because she had seen one like it in the dime store. This is a big fat lie. Anyhow, even if she was telling the truth, I think it’s neither here nor there. The ring is mine and I have a right to have it back. If my mother found out I didn’t have my birthday ring, she would whip me. How can I talk this girl into giving back my ring' Herbert R. Your ex-girl friend is completely in the wrong. I can’t imagine how any girl having one ounce of pride or honor could keep the gift of a boy who asked to have it returned. The sensible thing for you to do would be to go to this girl’s home and explain your problem to her mother. Be courteous and pleasant about it, but tell the truth about the ring being your birthday gift and about it meaning a great deal to you. I’m sure this girl’s mother will see to it that your property is returned. If there is some good reason why you hesitate to talk to the mother, why not talk to the girl’s best friend? Or her favorite teacher? The point is that you shouldn’t suffer in silence. Collect an array of people who agree with you and the pressure of public opinion will improve this girl’s attitude. Claudette Colbert Dear Miss Colbert: My problem is guns and children. I don’t think they mix at all; real or play varieties. Of course, I’m writing of small children. When a boy becomes twelve or fourteen, he is a reasoning person and can be taught care by his father. It gives me chills to see youngsters at play point guns at one another and yell, “Bang. You're dead.” So far, I’ve forbidden my daughter to play with children who are given guns as toys. This has caused endless arguments with my husband and my in-laws. They explain that children live in a world of fantasy and that it means nothing. However, week after week the papers carry stories about innocent youngsters killing parents or other children by aiming and firing an “unloaded” gun. My little girl is very sweet when the neighborhood children leave her alone because they are going to play cowboy and Indian. She accepts my explanation that ( Continued on page 32)