Photoplay (Jul-Dec 1922)

A Motion Picture Dictionary Compiled and Edited by WILLARD HUNTINGTON WRIGHT DEATH, n. A transition which invariably occurs at a most propitious moment for all parties concerned, and which is indicated by the removal of hats by all the male actors present. DEFIANCE, n. An attitude which the poor may assume successfully in the silent drama, but which is beset by grave dangers if adopted in real life. DELIVERY, n. That which tradesmen always make at the front door of fashionable residences; and if it is a new gown or hat, the delivery is generally made in the evening when the husband and wife are imbibing their post-prandial coffee in the drawing-room. DEMILLE, v.t. To mutilate; to deform; to disfigure; to alter out of all resemblance to the original, such as what happened to "The Admirable Crichton " and "The Affairs of Anatol." DENATURE, v.t. A process applied to all motion pictures in deference to the susceptibilities of the squeamish. DETAIL, n. The stumbling-block of all directors, being either woefully neglected or unduly emphasized. DETECTIVE, n. The leading character of a mystery picture the chief mystery of which consists in how it came to be produced. DINNER, n. A huge papier-mache turkey lying on its back. DISASTER, n. That which constantly threatens the leading man, but which, alas! never strikes. DOG, n. A domesticated animal by which one may determine a person's character. Any man who enjoys fondling a dog is noble, upright and trustworthy. Any man who dislikes or ignores a dog is a scalawag and a marplot with whom no honest working-girl is safe. DOOR, n. A hinged entrance to a room which, if locked, can always be forced open by hurling one's body against it. DOVE, n. A domestic bird of the pigeon family, generally white. Doves have a peculiar sense of natural beauty, as is evidenced by the fact that they are attracted strongly to rustic arbors, and perch only on picturesque boughs. When not on the wing they sit in pairs with the tips of their bills juxtaposed. DRAPERY, n. Diaphanous veiling used by classic dancers, artists' models, symbolic figures and angels, as a concession to the prudery of censors. DRESS, n. Sartorial investiture by which motion-picture actors, wherever encountered, may at once be distinguished from the rest of mankind. 82 DUCK, n. The clown of the animal world, one glimpse of which is sufficient to send the simple rustic heroine into paroxysms of glee. EDGE, ii. That part of a table on which forty-year-old juveniles sit by way of impressing one with their boyishness. EGG, n. That which comedians place in their trousers' pocket and then sit upon. EIGHTEEN, adj. The fixed age of all screen ingenues. ELECTION, n. A landslide for the forward-looking young attorney who is opposing the powerful and corrupt political machine. EMOTIONAL, adj. The type of acting marked by violent physical activity, as distinguished from "restrained" acting which consists merely of standing still with the eyes closed and working the Adam's apple up and down. ENCORE, ii. Something which it is impossible for an actor to take in a screen drama — proving that (detractors to the contrary notwithstanding) motion pictures have certain distinct advantages over the spoken drama. ESTATE, ii. That which is bequeathed from father to son, or from uncle to nephew, with the stipulation that the latter marries by noon of the day following the reading of the will. EVANGELICAL, adj. The type of doctrine preached by motion pictures. EXPLANATION, n. That which is carefully withheld by every character in a dramatic situation, and which, were it given, would bring nine-tenths of all motion-picture plots to an immediate close. EXTRAVAGANCE, n. That which characterizes nearly every phase of the motionpicture industry, including the cost of production, the salaries paid to stars, the ideas used in the plots, the language employed in the advertisements, and the promises made to the lady friends of directors. FACE, n. That part of the anatomy which — no matter what position the rest of the body is forced to assume — an actor manages at all times to keep turned toward the audience. FACT, 11. A wholly subsidiary and inconsequential element in the narrative logic of motion pictures. A mere detail ; a bagatelle. FACTORY, n. A large building in which the owner's beautiful daughter gets caught in a piece of machinery, and is rescued by one of the handsome young workmen, who turns out to be an aristocrat and college man in disguise. FAINT, ii. A sudden and unexpected loss of feminine consciousness, which occurs only when there are two manly arms ready to receive the body. FANCY, adj. The most charitable adjective which one can apply to the average leading man's clothes. FARCE, 11. A type of humorous drama often achieved unconsciously on the screen. FATAL, adj. A type of accident which never befalls the hero of a screen drama. FEATURE, ii. A two-reel drama attenuated into five, with an interpolated cabaret scene containing a close-up of a colored jazz orchestra. FETE, ii. A celebration held nightlv in all foreign countries. FIGHT, 11. A physical encounter in which the smaller of the two combatants is invariably the victor, due to his superior morals. FINANCIER, n. A gentleman with a prognathic jaw, who keeps his entire fortune in a circular wall safe behind an oil painting in the library, and who always comes to a violent end by being stabbed with a paper-cutter. FOREIGNER, n. (1) A villain; a gonof.a professional seducer. (2) Anyone who gesticulates excitedly and shrugs his shoulders when talking. FORTUITOUS, adj. About the only kind of circumstances one encounters in a film drama. FORTUNE, 11. (1) The reward of virtue. (2) The basis of the happy ending. GAITER, it. A dudish foot decoration affected by Don Juans and foreigners. GALAXY, n. An aggregation of stars; hence, the advertised cast of every new motion-picture drama. GATE, ii. The hinged section of a fence, used by rustic heroines to lean over and weep. GATHERING, n. A large collection of people at five dollars a day per capita, used in pictures which are to be announced as "super-productions." A mere production is the same picture without a gathering. GENDER, ii. A most indelicate though unescapable possession of the human race, which the motion-picture censors are continually striving to eliminate. GESTURE, n. A studiously thought-out bit of pantomime which doesn't convey the idea intended. GLADNESS, ». The fundamental postulate of motionpicture philosophy. GOVERNOR, n. An office to which the high-minded and virtueloving Common People always elect a young and inexperienced candidate, because of his purity, thereby refuting the unjust accusation of critics that motion pictures are not scrupulously true to life. (To be continued.)