Photoplay (Jan-Jun 1940)

What I Plan for My Son in Today's Troubled World'— A Father Talks (Continued from page 66) world, and what most of the British thought of the American colonists couldn't, at that time, bear printing. Yet steadily, century by century, and despite several bad setbacks, the standard of health and happiness of the average man has risen. What justification have we, then, in believing that time will turn backward? And I must add here that I think it is unfortunate that right now it is considered "smarter" to be an apostle of gloom than to believe in the inherent dignity and aspiration of man. As for the chances that my boys won't have the advantages when they grow up that I had when I grew up, I must say I can't let that worry me. I shall probably have some money to leave them but I think the most precious endowment I am abk to give them is our love — that, and the life in the sun they are getting right now. Honey and I have a ranch down in the San Fernando Valley— we are shopping for one with a large house at the moment, what with our having to have five bedrooms now that Tommy has come along — and those busters of mine play, practically naked, in the sunshine all day long. If that doesn't represent a step upward from my dad's day when a boy had to be swathed in clothes all day long, then it's the sky I walk on and the earth that's over my head. And suppose my boys do grow up with a little bit of luxury and then, for some reason or other, I lose out and they don't have a cent? Well, George Washington, who was brought up in luxury in England, walked shoeless through the snows of Valley Forge to become a hero! If my boys have it tough for a while, okay. I had it tough for a while, too. So did my dad. But we got by and had a lot of fun, too. I haven't the dimmest idea of what I want my boys to work at eventually. They will most certainly have their livings to earn, but I want them to earn them in the ways that seem most pleasant to them. If they want to be actors or musicians, I'll think that's keen. It's a grand life with a wonderful income and one that I sincerely believe does good in the world. On the other hand, if they want to become lawyers, doctors, salesmen or even peanut vendors that's all right with me and Honey, too. They have their own lives to live and we can't live them for them. I'll send them to Catholic schools, not alone because of my faith, but because I know the Church schools will give them the proper discipline. Life without restraints doesn't guarantee happiness but rather just the opposite. The Church knows this and by its laws guards against it. I want my boys to have the benefits of its laws. I'll prob ably send them to Catholic colleges, too, unless there is some special course some one of them wants to study that can't be found there. If so, they'll go to whatever university is necessary for it. One thing my sons will never have, and that's a lot of servants to wait on them and individual private cars to ride around in, too much money to spend, and all such character destroying indulgence. This business of waiting to have your children until you can give them material benefits is the most tragic of delusions. Material possessions blight more people than any other single factor. If you don't believe that, go over the lists of rich boys vs. poor boys that have accomplished something in this world. You won't find the ratio one to a thousand. Right now I'm on top, but next year I may be just another guy trying to get in to see the casting director. But even if I can keep up my present pace I'll see to it that my boys will not get accustomed to a style of existence that will kill every bit of natural initiative in them. I wouldn't want my boys to be soldiers. I hate war and all that it stands for. Naturally if America should ever be attacked and they were needed to defend it, I know they would do their duty, but I pray that such a time never comes. And speaking of prayer, that is one of the things that Honey and I have taught them from their earliest days. We have proved the power and solace of prayer many times in our lives and we want our boys to have that eternal comfort always. We are bringing them up, of course, in our faith. As for love — well, they wouldn't be our children if they didn't find that! I hope they will fall in love and marry young, not only so that they can experience the sheer enchantment of young love but also that they may have this safeguard against ever becoming bitter or disillusioned. Besid T'm selfish about it. I want to be able to see the expression on my father's face when I tell him he's a great grandfather. That will be something! For you see the real thing Honey and I feel about raising our sons is that it isn't a job for a day but one that goes on over the years. Donnie has a visibly easier conscience when he is guided regularly, told exactly what to do. Ronnie hates orders and is stubborn as a cement wall. It's been a two-ring circus managing them, and now, with the entrance of Tommy, it's a three-ring. And if, in the future, it gets to be four or five — or even ten — we will rejoice. For how can a man be afraid of either the past or the future when through the very fact of his children's presence he knows that he is in tune with the infinite? 'What I Plan for My Son in Today's Troubled World"— A Mother Talks (Continued from page 67) took this forcing attitude with me and I have many reasons to thank them for it. Parents should endeavor to cultivate in their children two or three separate interests, I believe, because in so doing the child has that many more opportunities. In these days it is possible to be set on one job and have it go completely up the chimney. The girl or boy who then has another direction in which to turn is fortunate. Such training should begin in the nursery by teaching a child to care for his own belongings and to be responsible for possessions and to have personal duties he must perform. As a child I was helpless, due to the attention of my parents and servants. This was meant as a kindness but it later proved a handicap since it took twice the courage to develop my sense of personal responsibility in later years. A child who has had strict nursery training doesn't find that so hard, so while I believe that children should be allowed to follow their natural tendencies, my child will also be disciplined. I come of a military family. My father, brother and uncles were all in the army, to say nothing of my grandfathers. I am not, therefore, quite as frightened as many women by the threat of war. I want peace with my whole heart, as I believe almost all women do, yet even if my child had been a girl I would not have taught her to be an active pacifist. I know by experience that preparedness has nothing to do with wanting war, and I do not believe that peace is brought about through being controversial. For that reason, which has nothing to do with militarism in its more horrible sense, I believe in a military training and would like my son to receive that training while at school. I plan to send my son to American schools for the first years of his life and after that abroad. For a boy I think enrollment in an English university means getting the edges knocked off. I will encourage him to travel, because in so doing his viewpoint will be broadened. Travel will force him into other than his immediate circle of acquaintances and thus increase his interests. But for the first years of his life, I plan to bring him up in California. In spite of what the outside world hears of Hollywood I think it is a wonderful place in which to bring up a child. The California climate is perfect, the schools good — and by this I mean public as well as private schools — and the people are so nice. Hollywood has given me much happiness and I hope it will do the same for my baby. I feel the same way about America. It has been very kind to me and I will try to see to it that my child will be true to the ideals of this great nation. Perhaps I am being completely mother-like when I say that I can't quite face the thought of my boy's marrying. I hope that he will marry someday but I don't want it to be when he is too young. I want him to be well established first. I want him to have seen the world and to have no doubt in his own mind as to what marriage means and to know how true is his love. Marriage is a serious proposition and I do not want my son to take it lightly. I shall give him a religious education. I believe it will teach him to run his life and I hope it will give him the peace that it has given me. I shall do all I can to encourage the widest variety of interests and talents in him. A peaceful and a sincere heart, a busy and interested mind seem to be the best guarantees against any disaster the future may bring. I would rather my son became a writer than any other thing. It is not alone because his father is a writer, either. I feel a writer carries his own medium with him. That is not true of the other professions. All a writer needs beyond his own gift is a pencil and paper. His own brain encourages him to delve more deeply into himself. One has to have knowledge and live deeply to be a great writer, which is what I hope my son will do. These are the dim, dreaming things I plan these days as I watch my son grow in today's world, but at no time do I worry. There is war in the world today, yes. There is unemployment. Yet there are so many blessings. Silver nitrate was dropped into my child's eyes the moment he opened them in this world so that he need never fear blindness. Never can a "Black Plague" steal over him, unaware and unrecognized. If disease attacks him, he will know it is not the punishment of an angry god, as his primitive ancestors believed. He will know what it is and how to conquer it. These benefits my child today inherits through no credit of his or mine, but through the enlightment of the modern age. My child sleeps in the sun and drinks quantities of orange juice daily so that his bones will grow long and strong. If he should seem to be growing too fast or too slowly, I can take him to doctors who will know how to cure that condition. Suppose material things go badly with his father and me. Even at that the home in which my child will be raised will be finer than any palace those most luxurious kings ever knew, for it will be always comfortably warmed, always clean, always sanitary, always light. Entertainment will be in my child's home through the mere effort of his turning an electric switch. Music, news, great drama will always be there for him. A hundred miles of distance will be as nothing to him with that cheap little car he'll drive, and perhaps a thousand won't either, since probably planes will be inexpensive by the time he grows up. Or suppose the very worst does happen and this war does darken the world and destroy all the art and beauty and sensitive living which today we hold so dear. Nothing in me believes that this can happen, yet if it should, I shall always remember that even in the Dark Ages wise men here and there escaped and kept the lamp of knowledge burning in various hidden corners until intelligence came back to life again. I cannot answer for other women, but I think it is my duty to try to bring better human beings into the world and not to question a future which I cannot foresee. For to me, you see, the important thing seems to be being alive, even though at times it may even mean being alive to pain or hunger or cold or poverty. For whether my child shall be rich or poor in his later life, he starts off with those great gifts we are all given, that ability to hear, and see, and smell and touch and taste. The sight of snow-capped mountains against a clear sky, or the sound of one person's voice on the telephone, or the flavor of hot food on a wintry day, the smell of lilacs washed by rain or the comforting touch of a friend's hand — these things are living and vital. Surely the only selfishness a mother can know would be to deny her child the right of birth to experience them. PHOTOPLAY