Pictures and the Picturegoer (October 1915 - March 1916)

i'tc ruwss dVXSK ENDING ouKARcTiNEMAToaRAPHir People We Have Never Mel the. cinema star who never receives morte than "two letters A DAY OH1 } STICK (^ LET '5 i, PICTURED, &EOR&EN SCHOOLBOY WHO Pictures DISHKE.S THE INDIVIDUAL WHO HAS NE.VEK HcARO OF CHARLIE CHAPLIN BEFORE. ri'D;. Rather] l notJJ THE fOANACUR WHO NEVER' RECEIVER ANy COrlpL/MNTS F"ROM Patrons the tradesman who ooesnt Expect a free pass for displaying CINEMA BILLS AND ■ jhBl 4ak BEEN . MATS WHO HAS NEVER KNOWN TO SMILE AT A CHAPLIN (OMEDY prosperous business man. Well. I gave him a few home thrusts anyway." "Iain'tyer 'good man.' Look here, gnv'nor. what I want to know is this. I'm a Britisher, 1 am. None of your Lii-. about this child. This evening I says to my missus, 'Old gal, let's go to the pictures and see if the fighting pictures "as arrived." 'Tus, Bill: letTfi she says, 'we may see "the lads. she says. And 'ere we are; and now 1 want to know what yer mean l>y showing as a dirty German ! " ' My good man, there are no Germans."1 "Now. look 'ere mate, don't pat uo "aif-'ook on me with your 'good man.' I tell yer there is Germans a-showing, and what my missus wants to know is this Why ear two hoys should he light in' thedirty skunks for you (why ain't yer wearing a Derby armlet ?) and. yotr goes and puts the blighters on the ■ i ? " ' But :: You listen to .me. My boys are tin' I'm; poshing in their ugly mugs. and you show 'em fat and laughing. That ain't playing the game, guv'npr. Von he fair to na and we'll be fair to I says to my missus, i says (the r old gal was crying like rain). 'I'll I i b ss, and if he can't give me a I'll Dnnch hi Vad "Now, now ; let me try and understand what your trouble is. Tn what picture did you see the hated Huns ? " " In that 'ere ' War Scraps.' " " Those soldiers are not Germans. They are Dutch and Greeks. Neutrals, not enemies."' " Nootrals ! Oh! love a duck. Well, look here, mister. I give in; if they "aint no Germans, I'm sorry for the row I made, but to my way of thinkin' the others are as bad. What I 'olds is this. these ere nootrals ain't a bit better than enemies. If hey ain't stoking the fire with us t ey're stepping the draught. I'll go back to the old woman now. I see. a young feller and his gal awaiting yer. Good-night, guv'nor." ■■ ( i< i id-night," replied t be Resplendent One as Clement the Knot came forward. " Ah! my dear old ci ap." drawled the new cuiuer. " you look put out. What's the matter ? " "Nothing much; the nana! grumbling How very annoying but -ahem I have something in the nature of a complaint to make.'' '■"What! another? 'What is your trouble, young man ? " "Please do not mistake me. my dear Lawson, 1 have no tron le. Mine is a complaint which arose in this way : Mi Harrington, my fiancee, had seen "The Fashions of Venus,' and thought I shoidd like to see it. I agreed, frightfully old as it is, and I regret that you are given, my dear old chap, feo showing what I may term junk " " Nothing over si:-: weeks' old. -ir." objected the Resplendent One. " But even that you are not showing." "No, sir: this is change day, and the renters sent an educational one-reelei in-lead." "Educational, by jove! Who comes to the pictures to be educated!" I finished with that at school, old boy. Do. my dear Lawson, try to keep faith with your clients.'' urged Clement. " I should not like to be forced to transfer my pal ronage." "Why hesitate, young man! If the manager of the Orpheum will give you i pas-, a L have done, accpt it. Your pas here will be cancelled." and the Resplendent One walked across to the pay-bos to exe ute his threat. * Later, ae the Resplendent One struggled homewards, be muttered, "Whj did I want t<> tr\ my he-k in Dimchest el' r " and as the rain filled hi e and mouth and ran down his ueck be splattered, " I. radon should I euongh for me !