Picture-Play Magazine (Mar-Aug 1920)

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! It is rumored that an organization of Motion Picture Directors are about to demand of Congress that all calendars be set ahead six months. Gotta have more sunlight ! This surprises us none at all. Everybody these days is' (or are) demanding something. FadeOuts is the sole remaining toiler in these more-or-less glorious U. S. who has oozed no demand nor hurled an ultimatum. We never could think of anything to demand and were not just sure what an ultimatum meant. However, to be in style : We demand unlimited production of bathing-girl comedies and insist upon absolute freedom of the see. We protest against actresses kissing actresses. 'Tis a waste of essential raw material. We demand that eighty-six months shall constitute a year for ingenues. A birthday every twelve months brings them too close together, and an ingenue with too many birthdays ceases to be an ingenue. Usually she doesn't know it — but the optience does ! — o — Neither Did We. Mary Thurman, who left Keystone for a quieter tone of comedy, says she hopes to never again look a bathing suit in the face. Fellows, we ask you — when the mydriatic Mary was a-wearing 'em — did you always look We thought not ! — o — Educational, (One Reel). "How Paragraphs Are Made." Us — (meditatively underwooding) — "Lillian Hall, who made us bawl" — nope, that won't do — sounds like Walt Mason — let's try — er — "Beautiful Lillian Hall, the completely adorable, infinitesimal blonde who soddened our handkerchiefs by her portrayal of Beth in 'Little Women' — ah, that's more like it ! — well, anyway — Lillian says: "One cannot gain knowledge by being told 'not to' ". Don't bet very heavily on that, Miss Lillian. Certain painful experiences of ours have proven the contrary. When our in-a-manner-of-speaking-beloved editor tells us to be funny, if we can, but not to get gay — we immediately amass knowledge that is valuable to us and posilutely priceless to our readers ! — o — Making Both Ends Meet. We've always thought that selling speedometers in Philadelphia would constitute the apex of extremes meeting — but we were mistaken. Many scenes for "The Hell Ship" were taken at "The Golden Gate," Frisco. — o — May Showers. When we were younger we reveled in the fanciful flights of one Jules Verne. Now, when we wish to be unveraciously kidded, we sit us down and list to the lilting pipe o' the publicist. Spear this one from Universal : "Mae Murray, during the making of one of her pictures, had to cry for a husband who was supposedly dying out West. The little actress felt her imaginary sorrow so keenly that she wept fully half an hour after the scene was filmed — wept for a husband that never existed !" Villainous Verse. He has a mean look in his glim, You feel like a-murdering him ! Smug, sleeky and slick — He's a son of Old Nick — Is ornery Robert McKim ! — o — Now, Don't Misunderstand Us ! In spite of his sumptuous salary a film star seldom contributes to the support of his wife, although he legally binds himself to do so when he sticks his head in the yoke. Lou Tellegen is the only subventitious film husband we can think of right now, as we patter to press. — o — Random Remarks. (Inspired by Current Titles.) "Sky-Eye" — Sounds like stepping on the dog! "In Wrong" — 'Grown'— thatsa deep one ! "Soft Money"— Sponged dollars ! "The Splendid Sin" — That gallon of hootch you're hiding in the cellar ! "The Winchester Woman'' — Don't tell her a secret, she's a repeater ! "The Speed Maniac " — A lightningbug? I