Picture-Play Magazine (Sep 1925 - Feb 1926)

Because a Woman Believed 33 idea get around that a certain thing" is so, and all those minds follow like sheep. "I suddenly got sick of pictures, work, people, life, everything — and most of all of myself. I didn't care what became of me. I drifted without any interest in what was going on. "Once I stayed shut up in the house, alone, for three weeks, with scarcely anything to eat, barricaded by a sort of self-hatred. At times, I would write feverishly — the melos I'd always wanted to write, with strange characters in unusual situations. Then, in a fit of disgust, I would throw them into the wastebasket. "My wife had simply had to leave, of course. I can only realize now, partly, how deeply I must have hurt her. There is just so much that a sensitive, well-bred woman will stand. "I thought that she had quit me, and it added to my bitterness. But now I see the intuition that motivated her action. She knew there could be no compromising, that only when I came to myself and was ready to stand on my own two feet and quit crabbing against the world, could I possibly pull myself together. And the only way to make me do that was to leave me alone until I began to do some constructive thinking again. "I'm a queer cuss. I'll have what I want, no matter what it costs me. If I desired something, even though I knew it would pull me down from the top to the bottom, I would have it. "She knew, this wise Alice of mine, that the only way to salvage me was to wait, and hope for me to zvant the right things again. Did she pray ? Maybe. I don't know. Probably. I did — once. The night I realized what a fool I had made of myself. ' "I missed Alice at first, in practical ways. When you've been married to a woman for seven years, you get to take her presence and her work for granted. It was vaguely annoying, after she had gone, that my clothes weren't in shape, the house disorderly, and meals irregular. When things are going well, you never realize the woman's efficient hand oiling the wheels out of sight. Men are animallike in the way they snuggle into comfort, but it seldom occurs to them to consider the work that goes into making their surroundings pleasant. "It was that that I missed first — the disorganization of the household. Then I began to miss her in deeper ways — her helpful talk, her suggestions, herself. I wanted to ask her advice about stories, and she wasn't there. And I thought of our years together, of those fine dreams we had started out with, of her hopes in me and what a mess I had made of them. "It struck me suddenly, one night, how much I wanted Alice. I was moody, sunk in gloom. I got out a bottle of whisky, and was just pouring a drink, when it suddenly occurred to me, 'No wonder Alice left a weak specimen like you.' "I threw the bottle against the radiator, smashing it; said one brief prayer, 'God, help me to pull myself together !' and turned over and went to sleep. That sounds like a scene from an old melodrama, but it actually happened. "That was the beginning of what might be called a man's regeneration. That term is usually applied to moral ruckers. Fortunately, I hadn't any immoral tendencies, but I think the word could be used just as well to signify a man's getting a hold on himself when he has lost his self-respect from other causes. "The next day I went to see Alice and told her my decision. But she is the 'show me' kind. " 'If you want me,' she said, 'you've got to prove it. I'll help, but it's up to you. I don't care to go down with a sinking ship.' "You see her method? Knowing me so well, she realized that the decision must be my own. Of my own accord, I had to want to come back. She was willing to back me up, but I had to prove that my inclination was real and deep, and not just talk. "Though she wouldn't return to me for a while, she let me call to see her, and take her to the theater. I wasn't quite broke, and scraped together a little to 'court' her again. "I was all keyed up over my high resolve. Alice intuitively understood that — the little boy that is in every grown man and that makes him like to dramatize emotions. I was anxious to resume our old relationship, suffering acute remorse, vowing reparation, highlighting my own humility, my faults. My trouble assumed, in my eyes, the proportions of a tragedy. Any one connected with the make-believe professional world is subconsciously an actor. I was sincere, mind you, but I was sensitized to feel things in an exaggerated dramatic pitch. "She only smiled — that slow, lazy smile — and yawned, 'Why make a mountain out of a molehill, Tod? Surely, you'll make good. When you stop orating and get down to brass tacks again, I'll be waiting. In the meantime, let's have supper.' You see what I'm driving at ? By making it all seem prosaic, she brought me back to realities — the actuphoto ^ ciarenc= s. Bun alities upon which the only really worthwhile life can be built. "I'm beginning only dimly to sense the heartaches that she must have concealed in her effort to keep things on a casual plane. They call them the 'weaker sex,' but I don't see where Tod Browning, director of "The Unholy Three." they get that," he mused. "Women are much stronger than men, only it's a different strength. We men, physically powerful, swagger in this masculine braggadocio, believe we control things. But a frail little woman can make or break any one of us. The strongest man is a child, compared to a woman's spiritual backbone. "Alice is typically feminine — dainty, charming, pretty. She has a pleasant personality that immediately makes friends. From outward aspects, she is the sort that a man would feel needed protecting and babying. But under that sweet femininity, there is a firmness like granite, sure of her instincts, and unwavering. She determines what she thinks is best, intuitively figures nut the way to achieve it, and sticks to the track. "When she was convinced that I wanted to make good . Continued on page 100