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28
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Random observations on recent happenings in the Hollywood colony and elsewhere.
By Carroll Graham
Illustrations by Lui Trugo
GEOFFREY GARDENIA, the eminent screen star, bounded from his bed happy to be alive on this fine morning. A wholly pleasant world confronted him. He was young, he had just signed a new contract, and his latest picture was a triumph.
More than all this, Geoffrey's marriage was ideal, so it was small wonder that he was happy to be alive on this fine morning.
His bath was interrupted by a call from a local newspaper, the Afternoon Planet, and he returned to his ablutions wondering what had started the absurd rumor that he was planning to divorce his wife. When he came down to breakfast they both laughed over it.
While they were at the table the doorbell rang, and Geoffrey's eggs grew cold as he explained to a representative of the Amalgamated Press that rumors of a separation were unfounded.
"Look here," said Geoffrey, with a touch of pique in his tone, "how did this absurd rumor start?"
"I don't know," the reporter answered coldly, "but it seems quite authentic. The story is, you are to divorce your wife in order to marry Gloria Golden, who played the lead in your last picture."
Geoffrey Gardenia let loose when a rumor affecting his domestic happiness grew beyond his control.
"Now, that," said Geoffrey somewhat tartly, "is quite ridiculous. My wife is a woman of beauty, charm, and refinement. Aside from that, I am in love with her. Miss Golden possesses none of those charms and I am not in love with her. Moreover, her lack of intelligence is amazing. She chews gum, She eats onions on days when we share close-ups. She giggles incessantly. These are traits I cannot endure. Even if I could, I should hardly exchange them for the obviously superior virtues of my wife."
With that he slammed the door and requested fresh eggs. ■
By eleven o'clock he had answered calls from seventeen representatives of newspapers, wire services, theatrical journals, and scandal sheets. At luncheon four reporters in person sought confirmation of the rumor. The state of his temper grew no better.
At three o'clock he read a lurid story of the rumor in an afternoon newspaper. By five thirty, exactly twentyeight of his friends had called to ask if he had left his
wife. At five fortytwo his employer called to remind him of the morality clause in his contract, and immediately Geoffrey kicked his dog. At seven ten he discharged his faithful chauffeur. At seven nineteen he hid while the butler argued with another delegation of reporters. At eight ten he complained unreasonably about the dinner, and when his wife protested, struck her a vicious blow, packed his bag, and drove furiously to a hotel, receiving a speed ticket en route.
Eighteen minutes later newsboys were crying the story on the streets.
Next morning, still completely mad, he instructed his lawyer to start •"divorce proceedings. That afternoon he got gloriously drunk, and that evening he telephoned to Gloria Golden.