Picture Play Magazine (Sep 1928 - Feb 1929)

24 The Stroll er By Carroll Graham Illustrated by Lui Trugo Confidential morsels of Hollywood gossip of interest to the fans. IT is an office — one of a thousand offices — in a motion-picture studio. Moreover, it is early morn, and the day's work is about to start. That strangest of all natural phenomena — a conference of the gag men is about to occur in our office. The workers file in slowly, as the hand of the clock nears nine. Gag men are funny by the hour — from nine until twelve, from one until five. Sometimes they stay funny until five thirty, or, on rare occasions, even until six. All six gag men having arrived, they drape themselves in various positions about the office, originally designed for a maximum of four persons. Behind the desk sits the head gag man. He bears various titles. Sometimes he is the director, sometimes the supervisor, and sometimes the producer himself. "Well," says the straw boss of the gag men, "we gotta get a story by Friday. Al wants we should start shooting by Monday morning. Let's see what we can dope out." There is a silence of several moments. "Anybody go to the fights last night ?" asks gag man No. 1. "Yeh," says the man on his immediate right, "a lousy program. I coulda licked the guy myself." This subject provides entertainment for ten minutes. The local boxing situation, its national aspects, the prospect of Dempsey returning to the ring, are argued out completely. "Well," says the straw boss, "how about this comedy? We gotta get a story by Friday." "I seen a funny picture the other night," pipes the gag man who has been sitting on the back of his neck, in complete silence, watching the cars go down Sunset Boulevard. "It was about a guy that ran a bakery shop, and got some concrete mixed up in the dough." There is a chorus of protest. "I did that six years ago at Sennett's," cried one outraged humorist. "What bum stole my stuff?" There is a general babel. "Let's make a picture about a bakery. How about a sequence in a girls' boarding school? Harold Lloyd had a funny idea, in his last picture, about a guy driving a taxi. Why not do something like that? I caught Buster Keaton's last picture the other night, and I thought of a swell sequence we could lift from it " At this point a gag man, who until now had been comparatively silent, leaps to his feet in a spasm of enthusiasm somewhat akin to an apoplectic stroke. "I got it! I got it! An absolute wow!" he cries, beating his breast with both his clenched fists. "Let's make our comic a guy who is afraid of dogs, and he's out of a job — so, to eat, he has to take work as a dog catcher." There is a silence. The entire circle is struck dumb by the man's genius. Then the straw boss of the gag men speaks oracularly. "Nope," he solemnly passes judgment. "Costs too much to fool with all them trained dogs. Dogs is too much grief." The gag man who submitted the idea sinks into his chair, gasping for breath. Another silence follows. All the sad young gag men fall into extremely heavy thought. They denote heavy thought by various mannerisms, so that there is no doubt of what they are doing. One sits with elbows on his knees, face buried in his hands, rocking back and forth, and moaning softly to himself. Another curls up in his chair and gnaws at the upholstery. A third rests his forehead on the edge of the desk, his arms curled about his head, like a sobbing bride. These poses are held for some time. The straw boss watches them happily. He knows they are thinking now. He glances at his wrist watch. It is ten minutes to twelve. He rises, and addresses the gathering. "Well, boys, we've done a lot of good work this morning. I'm playing golf with the general manager this afternoon. There is a new comedy playing down at the Capitol this week. Suppose you all go down and take a look at it to-day, and see if there is anything in it we can use. See you to-morrow morning." Eddie Cline, the director, who has been making a picture at the First National cannery in Burbank, had never met the new head of the organization who, at that time, was due to arrive at the studio and assume complete control. "When this guy comes on my set for his tour of Gag men choose divers means make known the fact that they are in deep thought.