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4 , 000,000 Hair. “The hair stylist’s sideline is selling toupees. // the stylist can pull out enough oj the actor’s hair she hopes that she can sell him a scalp div¬ ot. Most of Hollyioood’s glamor boys are bald—victims oj the hair stylist.” Dialog. “A harhi hair stylist tori?/rj time have now bea F red Allen, sour-faced radio comic, hates movie¬ making and in these pictures arid captions under them he tells why. The horrors of HollWood are fresh in Allen’s mind for he has just complet^a new pic¬ ture, Ifs in the Bag. There were many times during his ordeal by “kheg light,” says Allen, “that, if it weren’t so permanent, I would have wished I were dead.” A master of the ad lib, Allen may really resent the ponderous, slow-moving Hollywood technique because it leaves so little room for an actor’s originality. “Main thing an actor must learn,” he says, “is to stay within camera range. This is done for him by lighting the actor and marking his places. An ideal actor should have rigor mortis and a neon head. With rigor mortis he can’t move. With a neon head he can light himself.” However, his coactors i Skirball and Walter Batcl not take Allen’s anti-Holl to heart. They willingly co tures on these pages, reali mc . t eflFective humor by n him. Allen has also said so radio. He considers the av emaciated nonentity with cil,’’ the average radio vice tive fungus that attaches its Walter Batchelor, howevei on radio just a bit less th “The only good thing Alb wood,” says Batchelor, “is Pests. “ Tourists clutter up every studio. Press agent insists the actor meet .some giggling dame who won Glutton’s Derby at Belleville, III. She ate 200 pounds oj liverwurst in three days, was crowned Miss Cold Cuts oj IBltli.” Readers Get The Allen Lowdown on In The Bag”... JACK H.SKIRBAII presents FRED ALLEN. America’s Ace Radio Comic IW 7WE BAGr ^ As Guest Stars JACK BENNY DON AMECHE ■ WM. 6ENDIX VICTOR MOORE-RUDY VALIEE Binnie Barnes Robert Benchley • Jerry Colonno John Corradine • Gloria Pope • William Terry • Minervo Pious Dickie Tyler Produced by JACK H. SKIRBaU Directed by RICHARD \WAllACE RELEASED THRU UNITED ARTISTS