Dames (Warner Bros.) (1934)

10-DAY SERIAL-IT’S FREE! If you’ve seen the show you know it makes a swell story. Two chapters on this page will prove it to your editor. Multigraphed copies are yours for the asking, including five stills to illustrate it. Write: Merchandising Plan Editor — 321 West 44th Street —New York City. By BOB HUSSEY CHAPTER I HE Buffalo Security Bank—the Empire Insurance ComSet of Buffalo—The St. Lawrence Waterways, Limited —these and other financial strongholds of Buffalo, New York, had Ezra Ounce the eccentric multi-millionaire listed as President. To see Mr. Ounce was a difficult task, for the multi-millionaire surrounded himself with barriers of employees and guards whose duty it was to see that none but those only duly certified came face to face with Ezra Ounce. The same precautions exercised with others were applied to rotund, chubby-faced Horace P. Hemingway when he e¢alled. Horace had married Matilda, Ezra’s cousin, but he nevertheless had to go through the usual series of questions and suspicious inspections before he finally landed in the office of Billings, private secretary to Mr. Ounce. All this served to impress the visitor who sat in bewildered awe as Billings looked at him with steely gaze. ‘¢Cousin Ezra ... that is, Mr. Ounce, sent for me to come from New York,’’ stammered the embarrassed visitor. ‘‘You are three and one-half minutes early,’’ said the private secretary in a firm voice. ‘‘This is the first time Cousin Ezra ... Mr. Ounce, has sent for me in twenty years,’’ advanced Horace P. Hemingway uneasily. The efficient secretary pulled a ecard from the files. In dignified tones he announced as he read, ‘‘March 8th, 1912, you had an appointment at 10:23 A.M. You stayed four minutes.’’ Hemingway tried desperately to make conversation. ‘‘He heard I’d had a baby ... that is, my wife, Matilda . .. had it. He wanted to add it to the Family Tree,’’ he stammered. Looking. sternly at the card, Billings continued. ‘‘Girl ... Name, Barbara ... Weight, eight pounds .. . Complexion, undetermined ... Hair, bald.’’ ‘“Yes,’?’? Hemingway interrupted, ‘‘Barbara took after me at first. Born bald. Now she’s got hair. She’s 22.’? The secretary nodded in agreement, and taking out his watch announced that the auspicious moment for the appointment between Horace P. Hemingway and Ezra Ounce had arrived. Billings slowly opened the door leading to the sanctum sanctorum. They entered. In the massive office of Ezra Ounce, the millionaire was holding a heated telephone conversa CHAPTER II HOSE members of the family who had succumbed to the wiles of tobacco or drink, Ezra had disowned. He abhor red and disowned those members of his family who had shown an interest in any worldly pleasure, holding an especial aversion to a distantly related nephew, one J immie Higgens. Jimmie was seeking success in a theatrical career. ‘‘Have you barred said James Higgens from your home pursuant to Mr. Ounce’s memorandum of January 13th, 1930?’ asked the efficient secretary in sing-song fashion. “T have!” timidly responded the bewildered Mr. Hemingway. “Very well, Mr. Hemingway,” declared the secretary solemnly, “Mr. Ounce has decided not to wait until he dies to divide his fortune. He is going back to New York with you _ tonight. There he will liquidate ten million dollars and give it to your wife and yourself.” “Ten million dollars!” stammered Horace thunder-struck. “Tf I find, however,” spoke Ezra with emphasis, “that you are not leading the righteous life you claim—or that you in any way recognize that despicable Jimmie person—l’ll cut you off like a ripe banana!” “Yes, Ezra, like a ripe banana,” answered Horace abjectly as he gulped in fear at thought of losing the inheritance. * *% * Back in New York City, at that very moment, a girl and a boy were affectionately greeting Page Thirty each other outside-a prominent dancing school. It was well that Ezra and Horace couldn’t behold the meeting of the sweethearts, for the girl was Barbara, Horace’s pretty daughter, and the boy was none other than that despicable Jimmie Higgens! The youngsters entered a taxi for the ride to Barbara’s home. The discussion of plans to get ahead in:.the show business was punctuated frequently by kisses and. hugs. It was in front of her home that Barbara reminded Jimmie _ that they would have to be care ful, for her folks hoped to get a slice, at least, of Uncle Ezra’s money. And it certainly wouldn’t be forthcoming if the rich uncle ever discovered their romance or learned of their interest in the theatre. Barbara gave Jimmie a farewell kiss and hurried inside. Her mother greeted her excitedly, waving a telegram which told tion. He was much too busy to acknowledge the entrance of his bewildered relative, but continued shouting into the telephone— ‘*When you sold me that tire .. . you guaranteed it would run 10,000 miles . . .what happened? It blew out! You can have the tire, I want by $18.75 back and if I don’t get it, I’ll sue!’’ He banged down the receiver and muttered that the tire had gone~only 9976 miles instead of the promised 10,000, doing his mumbling just when the fidgety Hemingway was trying to extend a friendly. greeting. Paying no attention to the salutation, the wealthy man barked, ‘“T’ve got thirty-five million dollars. I can afford to be eccentrie.’? The visitor stood nodding approval dumbly. It was evident that he wouldn’t, under any costs, incur: the anger of his wealthy cousin. Firing question after question at Hemingway, an involved inquisition followed with the befuddled visitor supplying information about his conduct and morals. He was, he asserted, a moral man. Ezra Ounce stared with boring eyes at the nervous visitor. Then, without removing his gaze from Hemingway, the millionaire ordered, ‘‘The Family tree!’’ Horace P. Hemingway, nervously shaking stood in wonderment as to the next move. Ezra Ounce stared with boring eyes way. (Scene from Warner Bros.’ “Dames,” featuring 14 popular stars Above are pictured Guy Kibbee and Hugh Herbert, who chorus. at his visitor, Horace Hemingmammoth musical production and the Busby Berkeley beauty appear with Dick Powell, Joan Blondell, Ruby Keeler and ZaSu Pitts in the film, which is coming to the Strand Theatre soon.) With firm tread, Billings, the secretary, walked across the floor to the wall behind his employer. Reaching high, he unrolled the chart which revealed a diagram of the Ounce lineage. Ezra glowered at the frightened Hemingway. ‘Follow this carefully, Hor The discussion of plans to get ahead in show business was punctuated frequently by hugs and kisses. (Dick Powell and Ruby Keeler in a scene from “Dames” the new Warner musical, which critics have called the “Golddiggers of 1934.” ) of Uncle Ezra’s approaching visit and his plan to dispose of the ten million dollars. “What’s he going to give Jimmie?” asked Barbara. “Don’t you dare mention that young reprobate’s name before Ezra!” exclaimed Matilda angrily as Barbara fled to her room. * * * Aboard the limited train from Buffalo to New York, Ezra and Horace dozed in their club chairs. Nearby sat Bulger, Ezra’s burly bodyguard, sound asleep as usual. Ezra slowly roused himself and announced a plan which he had been forming in his mind. ace!’’ he declared coldly. ‘‘ Then you will hear and understand my decision! ’’ Horace stood trembling with fear, as the secretary proceeded to glibly orate on the enthralling, engrossing, all-important subject of the Ounce Family Tree. (Continued Tomorrow) “Tm going to organize,’ said the millionaire, pompously, “The Ounce Foundation for the Elevation of American Morals. Vm going to wipe out sin in this country and I’ll launch my campaign in New York.” Horace, learning the value of being a yes-man, voiced approval. He was pleased to learn that Ezra was going to enlist him in his moral-elevating campaign. At ten o’clock the two men arose and started down the car to their compartments. The swaying of the train caused Ezra to bump against a middle-aged woman who was quick to take offense at his supposed impertinence. “Roue!” she exclaimed in anger. “See that?” asked Ezra as he turned to Horace. “She called me a roue! That goes to show how careful a man must be. You’re a clean, moral man, Horace. It would be wise for you to remain that way! Understand?” “Yes, indeedy,’ came the response from the numb Horace. Ezra and Horace exchanged good-nights and followed by the sleepily faithful Bulger, the financier went down the car to his compartment. Horace entered his compartment and elosed the door. (Continued Tomorrow)