Radio and television mirror (July-Dec 1949)

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Ask your druggist for Doan's Pills, a stimulant diuretic, used successfully by millions for over 50 years. Doan's give happy relief and will help the IB miles of kidney tubes flush out poisonous waste from your blogd. Get Doan's Pills. Having Wonderful Time (Continued from, page 35) with a buzz-saw. He had welts and bruises on his hands and face, and his coat was torn in several places. Before I could recover from my astonishment, "Sorry, Louella," he said, "but I just got snarled up in a traffic accident. Soon as I could, I grabbed a cab and got over here as fast as I could. Hope I didn't worry you too much." I insisted that he go to a doctor immediately, and we'd work out the show as best we could, but he was determined to stay until the broadcast was over. He added that he knew the program was very important to me, and didn't want to disappoint me. We swabbed his bruises with some materials we had in a first-aid kit, and the show went on. Fortunately, as it turned out, the doctor found that Clark's only injuries were his bruises and a slight shakingup. He called me the next day to tell me that everything was all right, and that he'd enjoyed being on the show! Since that day, he has had a very special place in my book of friends. This year marks my fifteenth anniversary in radio, and it's a far cry from those early days when I went on the air. My show was probably the worst in existence — I wrote, produced, and directed it all by myself. My lack of knowledge about the tricks of broadcasting certainly showed up in the final result. Yet, even as bad as it was I loved it, because I've always been a frustrated ham. My lack of talent has never dimmed my enthusiasm. The late Wally Beery was on my first show because I had known him from our pre-Hollywood days at the Essanay Studios in Chicago, where he and Gloria Swanson were referred to as an item. The sight of a microphone put me in a complete panic, so Wally suggested that we rehearse at his house. He made me go over my lines until he was satisfied with the way I was reading them. But I knew too that it wasn't how I said anything that mattered, because people were interested in what I was talking about. One day I was going through a severe case of pre-broadcast jitters when Richard Diggs, my producer, saw me. "What," he said, "is going on here?" I told him I was scared to death. "What the hell," he exploded. "Are you or aren't you the first lady of Hollywood?" I mumbled weakly that I had read it. "Well, you are!" he went on. "You know inside news about the stars that millions of people out there are waiting to hear. You're not expected to put on an Academy Award performance in front of that microphone. Just give 'em the news, that's all!" That did it. From that day, I did the program the best way I knew. Mary Pickford was my second guest, on that early series of shows, and then began a whole procession of luminaries. Connie Bennett and I were cut off our program when, in true womanly fashion, we wouldn't stop talking about clothes. Raymond Paige was supposed to play a tune, and when we kept right on, he merely moved into another studio, took over his allotted time, while Connie and I chattered. That series of programs was followed by another, which had its share of interesting incidents. We did the first preview of a movie when Herbert Marshall and Norma Shearer co-starred in "Riptide." Joan Bennett sang Brahms' lullaby to her new daughter Melinda. The incomparable Carole Lombard was one of my really glamorous guests who was completely unruffled when she lost two whole pages of her script. She merely ad libbed her way through, without a pause, and you'd never have known the difference. Humphrey Bogart has always been one of my favorite people, and once, when we were doing a broadcast for Hollywood Hotel, he completely broke me up. Just as I was reading a fairly long paragraph in my script. Bogey brought in a huge can of soup and placed it right smack between me and the script. I lost my place, and started laughing so hard that I couldn't find it. Bogey laughed even harder, and it seemed hours before we found our places. In the years that Hollywood Hotel enjoyed a reputation as a top radio show, there were very few stars who did not appear as guests on the programs. In one broadcast alone — "China Seas" — we had Clark Gable, Jean Harlow, and Rosalind Russell. Ginger Rogers was the only star who refused to go on. I was told that she felt her pictures did not need exploitation, and that she was interested only in any money she might receive for her appearance — we did not pay. Since that time, I have learned that the entire situation arose because of an over-zealous press agent who had served as a go-between. I discovered that Ginger had never even been asked to appear, and that the reports which were given to me were merely fictitious answers dreamed up by the agent. Now, for the first time in print, I'm glad to clear up the fact that all is well between Ginger Rogers and Louella Parsons, and we're the best of friends. Also for the first time in print, it will surprise Audie Murphy to learn that he gave me a Grade-A cold. Just after he and Wanda Hendrix were married they were guests on my current show, and at the conclusion of the program he gave me a resounding kiss. What was unhappy about that was that he was suffering from a cold himself, which he passed right on to me! However, I love Audie and Wanda dearly. I always enjoy having Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy on my present program, because Charlie is completely real to me. I love the asides he makes that aren't in the script and catch you completely by surprise. Abbott and Costello turned the tables on me by reading all my lines, so I reversed things by reading theirs. And actually, as mad as it may sound, the program had some semblance of sense to it. Shirley Temple had to stand on a platform to reach the microphone on her first broadcast with me. The next time she appeared, she was a full-grown woman, a lovely mother with a handsome husband and an adorable child. Recently I've had Jane Wyman on my program twice, alone and with the Academy winners. The latter was, to me, the best show I ever had, and it drew twice the usual mail. Jane is one of my long-time favorites. She made personal appearances in theaters