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LET'S GO TO TOWN
FRED ALLEN'S Town Hall Tonight program is actually coming to you from New York these days, but thanks to Fred's co-operation and that
of his sponsors, Sal Hepatica and Ipana, Radio Mirror is able to bring you a Town Hall Tonight ReadioBroadcast from the other side of the continent. When you settle back in your easy-chair and tune in this page, you hear the familiar Town Hall pandemonium, coming to you from the movie capital. (Confidentially, we've set the scene there because we couldn't resist the Hollywood gags Fred thought up.)
Here's Harry Von Zell stepping to the front of the stage and holding up his hand for silence — and here we go:
Harry: Presenting that dull doleful demon, drolling damp doughty dough-boy of dilemma, that didactic donator dealing dandy drolleries, dandy darwinisms, domestic dumbellarderio and diangular doggers and dramatizing droll dopey dumplings, dat dilly of the dally, Fred Allen in person!
Fred: Thank you, and good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Here we are with the Old Town Hall
Starring Fred Allen in a laugh scoop that's more fun than a barrel of money
right in Hollywood where folks think that rain is something a king does. California is the only state in the Union where a man can have yellow jaundice for years without knowing it, he's that sunburned. It's the only part of the country where people don't have to kill their turkeys for Thanksgiving. They just put them out in the back yard and the turkeys die of sunstroke. Now, before the Hollywood Weather Bureau butts in with a commercial, I'll read the Town Hall Bulletin for tonight.
Hodge White, everybody's grocer, the first man to weigh spinach over the sugar barrel so none of the sand would be wasted, wants to deny a slanderous rumor going round that the butter he sells is so strong, it crept out of the tub and threw two little boys out of the store. Hodge says he's selling the freshest meat and vegetables in town. He stepped into his icebox today and a leg of lamb kicked him flush in the midriff. So much for that, and now for the Town Hall News. The curtain, Harry. Harry: Coming down with a bang, Fred. Fred: The lights go out and we bring you the latest
Drrrama! A tense scene from a Mighty Allen Art play with Fred, Portland — and Mr. Allen.
Action! Fred Allen shows how to make sure your wife speaks nothing but words of wisdom.