Radio Digest (Nov 1930-Apr 1931)

16 c/fbigail Belinda in an Interview Discovers the By Anne B. Lazar I Simplitude ob D/N4H art DORA ;'TAW 'AWDY, Lawdy, am yoh still here?" I looked up and there was Abigail Belinda, broom in hand ready to sweep up the place. "Yes, I'm here and I'm in a dilemma," I sighed. "Whut yoh mean yoh am in a dilemma dis time ob night?" "Well you see, it's this way, Abby," I confided, "I have a perfectly good invitation to the opera tonight. But I also have an assignment to see Dinah and Dora and they're on the air tonight — that's my dilemma." "Yoh doan mean dem Gold Dust Twins —Dinah an' Dora?" "Yes'm — those are the gals," I murmured. "Can't Ah do somethin' dat will complicate dat dilemma foh yoh, Missy?" kindly offered Abby. It was then that the idea occurred to me to let Abigail Belinda, our beaming, genial cleaning woman, go out on my assignment. So while Marguerite was sailing away on those coloratura notes in the Jewel Song, I was wondering how Abigail Belinda was faring with Dinah and Dora. The next morning Abby rushed into the office quite breathlessly. "Well, how did the interview turn out?" I asked. "Ah neber was receptionized wid sech hostility befoh in all mah life. Ah took mahself ober to WOR an' Ah walks right ober to de elevator boy. 'Boy.' sez Ah, 'take me to dem Harlem dames. Ah'se jes' about bustin' wid a glorified puhpose so take me quick.' "So up Ah goes, an' Ah'se reproduced to Dinah an' Dora. Lawdv. Ah neber did see sech unperoxide coal blondes as Ah recountenanced — neber — an' so fair complexionated! " 'Ah'se Abigail Belinda,' Ah reproduces muhself, 'an' gals, dis am de mos' spasmodic moment in yoh ambuscaded careers. Ah'se gwine make yoh famous,' I sez to 'em, 'so famous dat notoriety an' renunciation will be qualified wid amplitude an' consecration.' " "M-m, well that's interesting. What then happened?" I asked. "Well, Ah sets mahself down much to home an' stahts makin' some interlocutory interrogations. But Lawdy dem two gals am de mos' unresumin', disostensibilized damsels what eber dis universe yet hab perused. Dey wouldn't disenclose nuthin' by no remarks dat would antagonize de feline ob de species. Wid great specularity I was invitationed to see de manager followin' de rehearsal ob de episode which dey wus goin' to broadcast," ran on Abby. JTUST Ah wants to prescribe Dinah an' Dora so dat yoh kin keep dem in yoh mental opticals. Dora am one ob dem slenderized individualities wid a twilight cast ob countenance. Yoh kin look in dem great big eyes decorated wid elongated lashes and see in dem de germinology ob deep signification. She am one ob dem dreamy etherized creeturs — which if it wusn't fer Dinah's reliabilitude, would facilitate wid evaporation. Yoh knows de type — soft but unrepliaable." "Yes, I know the type exactly," I replied, trying to formulate some kind of a picture in my mind that would conform to this new softness and "unrepliability". "Now, Dinah," continued Abby, "has got a little moh waistline an' backbone — if yoh knows whut Ah'se referrin' to — both wid actuality an' wid immortality. She am de kin' whut yoh kin lean agin' an' feel dat yoh ain't gwine to fall wid gravitation. She has whut one might entitle de spirituality ob sustensibility, yoh know what Ah mean." "Yes, it's very clear to me, Abby, clear as crystal," I replied, trying to extricate myself from the bombardment of extravagant verbiage. • "Waal, den dey goes in foh a li'l dialogatude," continued Abby, "an' I wuz jes' roarin', so I busted in at a periodical moment consolidated dem wid hilarity on de harmonious success ob de dramatical act. "Now Ah knew, Missy, dat you done wanted to be apprehended on de apparel dese two damsels retired in. Dora wore one ob dem stylish gingham dresses, it wuz soht ob a sky blue checker board affectation wid a baby pink thread runnin' shyly through an' embracin' de moh conspicuous blue at intervals. Lawdy, she looked as magnified as a refractory skyscraper. Now on top ob de dress was a green apron — it's wid residual difficulty Ah kin prescribe de shade — de green dey make de window shades from — an' Lawdy dat was some symphonic contrast ob harmony. Now Dinah dressed wid a triviaL ity ob conspicuousness wid nevertheless de exactitude ob de rules manufactured by de fashionalities ob de punctilious." "I should say you have made some very extraordinary observations, Abby," I interrupted. {Continued on page 98)