Radio digest (1922)

80 OUT of the AIR Hits— Quips— Slips By 1NDI-GEST o GREETING! NCE more I greet my friends ! Each jokesmith and each poet who sends The slips and quips and pleasant rimes In which the spirits of our times (The daily times that come and go Along the waves of Radio) Are sifted, frequently in vain, To see what humor they contain, So that our readers of all ages Who monthly scan the Digest pages May separate the grain from chaff And find, within, the prize a laugh! It's good to know you-all again, (I'm from the South; that's mighty plain.) And one and all I greet you now And hope you'll write me soon — and how ! Send in your stuff with joy and zest, Affectionately, .... Indi-Gest I came from a section of the country where there are plenty of negroes. I was raised up on a diet of hot biscuit, chicken gravy, chine, jowl and turnip greens, not to mention ham gravy and hominy grits, with occasional dishes of spareribs. The name IXdi-Gest is very appropriate. Which reminds me that I must repeat a good story I heard once. I have always liked it. from which you may gather that it is not entirely new. ,Two colored women were discussing recent additions to their families. "I aone name dat new baby er mine 'Opium.' " remarked Marthy Brown to Handy Jackson. "Why you disqualify dat chile wid a name like dat, Marthy?" "Well, I done look' up de wud opium in de dickshunary and hit say hit mean de seed er de wile poppy. And de good Lawd knows dat chile's poppy is sho' w ile I" Another colored shster came up and snorted. "Dat ain' nuthin ! I done name mah baby Onvx." •W hy dat. Sis Liza?" "Kaze he came so onyxpected! Use yo' haid, gal, use yo' haid!" * * * You're Darn Right! Do you believe in clubs for women? Yes, if kindness fails. — Rose Bailey, 129 Grant St., Greetuburg, Pa. , * * * Here's the funniest thing I've heard over the air, especially since I am sure it was quite unintentional. It was several months ago during the Crosley Saturday Knights program over WLW. The announcer, who, I think, was Robert Brown, stated that the next number by the orchestra would be "Why Was I Born?" by special permission of the copyiq;ht owners. But the way he said it sounded as though it was to be "Why was I born by special permission of the copyright owners?" — Evelyn Faux, 925 Edgnvaler Ave., Port Wayne '"d. Station WJBT, Chicago, was broadcasting a church service the other night when suddenly the following words were heard : "Your throat ! Your eyes ! Don't struggle ! I'm stronger than you are, my pretty lass." Telephone calls poured in by the hundreds. "The wires got crossed on a chain melodrama from New York," station operators explained to horrified listeners. — A. P. Day. Sergent, Ky. * * * Wooden Pigs According to Miss Frances Cherry of Wayne, Nebraska, a teacher asked little Willy to make a sentence with the word mahogany. And Willy said: "Pa sent me out to feed the pigs but I didn't give the ma hog any." Which goes over all right. Miss Cherry, but that story of yours about the tame fish that fell in the river and was drowned — Well, why resurrect that one? Don Marquis wrote a whole story about that same fish years ago. Here's a chuckle I'd like to pass on to the other fans. Art Kassel's orchestra ("Kassel's in the Air") have a feature on their "Whoopie Hour" called the "Canadian Medley" which includes : I'm a Drinker Montreal (I'm a Dreamer, Aren't We All) Canada Jungle (Chant of the Jungle) Lover Quebec to Me (Lover, Come Back to Me) —Rose Gergen. Turtle Lake, N. Dak. It is easy to make slips. Every broadcaster of whatever kind knows that it is much easier to make a mistake — a lapsis lingua, so to speak — than to stop, go back and say "beg your pardon." And in this connection, should one stop and apologize, or go straight ahead? Says Mrs. J. B. Gross, 125 Bayly Ave., Louisville, Ky. : On April 17th there was a horrible accident here in one of our local quick service clothes pressing shops, which resulted in two deaths from fire. In announcing the catastrophe over WHAS that night, the announcer, Steve Lewis, said: "The explosion was caused when a youn man who was carrying a 5 cannon gal cl Naphtha, tripped and fell down the stairs; The announcer then chuckled and saic ] I should have said, five gallon can." * * * In the WJZ Children's Hour, broadca I every Sunday from 9 to 10 a. m., a neighbc| and I were greatly amused recently hearing Milton J. Cross read the "Funnn to the "Kiddies." For several weeks was a continued strip about the doit ., the "Twins," and Mr. Cross akvays reft to them as the two tzwns. This seems even more humorous now, he has become the winner of the Die Award.— Mrs. M. J. Swan, 12 North Ave., Northampton, Mass. * * * Red Meat! Apparently there are still some exponer of cannibalism in Minneapolis as, during; program of phonograph records, last ev ning, April 29, the announcer said, "O next offering is, 'Cooking the One I Lo for Breakfast.' " Truly, I think that deserves honorat mention. — R. L. Lithgotv, 328 Plymou Bldy., Minneapolis, Minn. * * * Would you call this an acrobatic orche tra? A local dance orchestra had play one number, when Everett Mitchell WENR announced, "The boys now co tinue with Bottoms Up.' " — R. Johnso 11432 Forest Ave., Chicago. * * * Here is a bit of fun I just heard on Radio while tuned to KMA of Shenandoa Iowa. Listening to the broadcast of t "Country School," I heard one of the "p pits'* remark: "Say, teacher, my aunt died last week a left a thousand dollars hid in her bussel.' Teacher : "Well, that's too bad." Pupil : "Yes, but wasn't that a lot leave behind?" — Mrs. W. D. Cooper, 30 Mitchell Ave., St. Joseph, Mo. The Last Stitch Young Girl : Daddy I won't need clothes this summer. Daddy: Oh! Oh! I never thought ■ would come to that. Cash for Humor! /T WILL pay you to keep you ears open and your funny bone oiled for action. Radio Digest will pay $5.00 for the first selected humorous incident heard on broadcast program, $3.00 for til second preferred amusing inci dent and $1.00 for each aiuusin incident accepted and printed. ft may be somctJiing plaiuie as part of the Radio entertain merit that tickles you, or it may b one of those little accidents that pop up in the best regulated stations. The only stipulation is that you must actually have heard the incident as part of some program. Keep your ears open for chuckles— send your contributions to the Indi-Gest, Radio Digest, Chicago, Illinois. It must be received not later than June 1, 1930.