Start Over
Radio Digest (Nov 1930-Nov 1931)
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53
THIS is Serious Laugh if You Dare! Nit
Wits Present Great American Drama of The Ages "And The Villain Still Pursued Her/"
ltly. Know you not that you are askfor something which I do not possess.
■Veil, that goes on a while and whether really means something or not is a ;stion. But then the Nit Wits start a erent type of conversation, chock-full real meaning. In fact every word in has fourteen lines of definition in the tionary. This time it's Mocha de ika and Gabriel Horn on deck.
VIocha: Ah my dear Mr. Beehive. I'm
simultaneous to see you.
Jabe: And I'm so euphonious to see
too Mrs. Mop. Mocha: My, my, and how is your pannonium?
rABE: Very stenographic, Mrs. Mop.
y stenographic. iJvIocha: Oh, I'm so simultaneous. JjAbe: And how is your hypocritical jhleum?
'I Mocha: Oh, impalpable. Oh. yes inVd.
IjABe: Well, your scrupulosity is 0 K. I't it?
. Mocha: Impalpable. KjABe: Good bye, Mrs. Mop. VIocha: Simultaneous, Mr. Beehive.
I tV ell, such a conversation really doesn't Ian much, but it does get us out of the to into which our American conversation U> fallen. Now for another type of conization. There are in this country nu■ rous folks who are very busy and Mile they'd like to carry on a conversaIn with some dear friend or sweetheart, lie will not permit of much talk. So lad Browne recommends the monosyl| dc type of conversation and appoints Jlndy MacTavish and charming Patience I mpstead to do the honors.
Sandy: Hy
Patience: No.
Patience: 'Lo.
Sandy: Talk?
Sandy: Queen...
Patience : No.
Patience: King...
Sandy: Dance?
Sandy: Lone?
Patience: No.
Patience: Sure.
Sandy: Eat?
Sandy: Rose?
Patience: Yes.
Patience: Thanks
Sandy: Now?
Sandy: Age?
Patience :Thank<
Patience: Ten.
Sandy: Walk?
Sandy: And?
Patience: No.
Patience: Six.
Sandy: Run?
Sandy: Oh!
Patience: No.
Patience: You?
Sandy: Cab?
Sandy: Young.
Patience: Please.
Patience: Much?
Sandy: Right.
Sandy: Quite.
(Beckons cab)
Patience: Thanks
Cabby: Where?
Sandy: Walk?
Sandy: Food.
Cabby: Oke. Sandy: Name? Patience: May. Sandy: Thanks. Patience: Yours? Sandy: Mike. Patience: Thanks Sandy: Cold? Patience: Some. Sandy: Squeeze? Patience: Well... Sandy: One? Patience: Yes. Sandy: There. Patience: Ohhh. Sandy: Kiss? Patience: Well... Sandy: Wait — Patience: Why? Sandy: Cause-boy. Cabby: Yes? Sandy: Slow. Cabby: Right. Sandy: Now? Patience: Now. Sandy: Yes — {Smack) Sandy: There. Cabby: Out. Sandy: Fare? Cabby: Buck. Sandy: There. Cabby: Thanks.
Sandy: Tip. Cabby: Thanks. Waitress: Yes? ' Patience: Oh. Waitress: Soup? Patience: Yes. Waitress: Fish? Patience: No. Waitress: Meat? Patience: Yes. Waitress: Which? Patience: Pork. Waitress: And — Patience: Beans. Waitress: Yes. Patience: Peas. Waitress : Yes. Patience: Bread. Waitress: Yes. Patience: Tea. Waitress: Right. You? Sandy: Me? Waitress: Yes. Sandy: Nope. Waitress: Why? Sandy: Fast. Waitress: Why? Sandy: Fat. Waitress: Oh. Patience: Grand. Sandy: What. Patience: Chow.
Wit Brad Browne really looks.
Sandy: Eat. Patience: Right. Waitress: Check. Sandy: Oh — Patience: Sick? Sandy: Yes. Patience: How? Sandy: Pain. Patience : Where? Sandy: Heart. Patience: Gee — Waitress: Well? Sandy: Ohhhh— Waitress: Pay! Sandy: Can't! Waitress: Why? Sandy: Broke. Waitress: Broke. Sandy: Sure. Waitress: Cop.
Sandy: No — Waitress: Yes! Patience: Ohhhh Waitress: Cop — Cop: What? Waitress: Him. Cop: Well? Waitress: Pinch. Cop: Why? Waitress: Broke. Cop: So? Sandy: Yup. Cop: Come! Sandy: Where? Cop: Jail. Sandy: When? Cop: Now! Sandy: Gosh. Patience: Mi-ike. Sandy: Ma-ay.
Chester Miller, Formerly Algernon Ashcar who deserted the Nit Wits for Chicago.
This could go on indefinitely but what's the use. That would really be a great way to carry on conversations — all in monosyllables— think how easy it would be on the tonsils.
And now comes the grrrand climax, with the great Nitwit parody of Hank Simmons' Showboat. This is a classic which will be preserved in the dead letter files of the nation. It is really authentic, for it's all in the family — Harry Browne. Showboat director, is Brad's brother.
Browne: And now ladies and gentlemen, the dear little Nit Wits too have been listening in on the Radio and they are going to give you their version of Rank Persimmons' Slowboat — the Sleighbell. Here we go. Rank Persimmons Slowboat the Sleighbell lies hooked up to the Levy —
Nit Wits: (Softly) That's levee.
Browne: Oh yes. Lies hooked up to the Washington Monument tonight. She