Radio fan-fare, combining radio digest (June-Oct 1933)

October "Look what I've got, look what you've got" went the music, and Leon looked. The guitar player had a clarinet; the pianist was blowing a saxophone; the bass violinist was picking a mandolin ; the first trumpet player was poised expectantly over the xylophone; and the drummer was puffing happily on a harmonica. Everybody was perfectly serious. Leon gestured desperately at the announcer. He was still looking at the ceiling. It was more than anybody could stand. "Say, you idiots," Leon howled. "What is this anyhow? Are you crazy?" And without a word every man in the orchestra dropped his instrument. Leon's face was worth going miles to see. "Don't raise your voice at me that way," said the bass violinist. "Who do you think you are, anyway?" And with that he picked up his instrument and stalked off the platform — followed by the entire orchestra. Leon looked over at the announcer, and that gentleman was doubled up on the floor. Then Leon got it, and what he said was a classic of descriptive adjectives. When you run into Mr. Belasco now, all you have to do to set him off is to whistle the first few bars of "Look What I've Got." THEY WERE CAGA EVEN THEN (Continued) played a town in which they had friends, they would be driven to a swanky hotel, wait for a moment in the lobby, and then sneak out to a cheaper one ! Playing the Palace Theatre for the first time ! They were on the bill for one week, and made such a success that the manager said he'd hold them over if they changed their routine. In those days Burns and Allen hardly dared change a line of their act for fear of ruining something that they knew was successful. So they decided that, rather than stay over and take a chance of spoiling their excellent record, they'd turn down the extra week and leave. However, Georgie Jessel, who had great faith in the ability of Burns and Allen, called up the Keith office, said he was George Burns, and okayed the second week. So Georgie and Gracie had to change cheir act — and the new one was a wow. The time Burns and Allen followed Ethel Barrymore in the "Twelve Pound Look," and everyone in the audience flocked to see Ethel. Burns and Allen were moved from second after intermission to number two on the bill — a humiliating thing! They used to arrive at' the theatre early and leave late — to avoid meeting anybody. Breaking in on the air. Eddie Cantor asked Gracie to go on with him, and George agreed to split the act. Gracie had everybody in stitches, including Eddie and the orchestra. Ten days later Burns and Allen made their debut with Rudy Vallee, and shortly after that were signed for Robert Burns Panatela. George and Gracie thought names they used, such as Clap• saddle and Dittenfest, would be unduplicated, and therefore safe to use on the air. But they heard from both the Dittenfests of Virginia and the Clapsaddles of Pennsylvania. George wrote to the Dittenfests and told them to get in touch with the Clapsaddles, possibly to form a club! Burns and Allen making "International House" — in Hollywood during the earth 47 quake! George started to run into' an archway on the set, and Gracie ran into what she thought was an elevator. George dashed back to get Gracie and discovered her still standing in the movie prop elevator. At least, she would have died in character. Gracie going into Macy's to buy a rolling pin for her cook. The sales girls all recognized her and began to stare and whisper, which got Gracie so fussed that she was ashamed to admit she'd come to buy a rolling pin. (She thought it sounded silly.) So she bought a table — which she didn't need at all! Burns and Allen, vacationing at Palm Springs. George got on a bicycle and tried to show his wife what a big outdoor man he was. Gracie got on another bicycle and rode down a hill with her feet on the handle bars — scaring George almost to^ death ! George and Gracie being stopped by a motorcycle cop the other day in Central Park. "Pull over to the curb, you," the cop bellowed. "What do you think you're doing?" "Well," began Gracie, in spite of George's warning look, "it was this way. I saw you riding behind us sort of fast, so I thought you wanted to race, and I didn't want to spoil your fun, so I raced." George holding his breath. "Good Lord, what a story!" said the cop. "You sound like Gracie Allen." Gracie giggled. "No wonder," she chirped, "I am Gracie Allen." She proved it, the cop laughed, shook hands and rode off. As Gracie stepped on the gas, George patted her on the shoulder, shook his head and said, "Boy, what a life ! Never a dull moment." POPULAR TUNES (Continued) Chicago, but conditions were almost as bad there and the venture had a short life. Some of the music was too good for any depression to kill, however, and "Hey Young Feller" became a nationwide hit. "Don't Blame Me," the really outstanding song of the show, was not released for general consumption until recently, although I hoped Robbins would release it earlier. Ever since Katherine Perry, a clever colored girl, introduced the song on one of our Thursday night broadcasts recently it has been used by the best bands and vocalists. It may well become a sweeping hit, for it has a good melody and Dorothy Fields has done an excellent job with the lyrics. "MISSISSIPPI BASIN" By Andy Razaf and Reg Foresythe. Published by Joe Davis, Inc. Here is another "Blue Prelude," except that this time the scene is Dixie. Andy Razaf, the talented colored boy who wrote "S'posin' " and "My Fate Is In Your Hands," and who has shown real talent in lyric writing, has now given us an unusually good "Song Of The Bayou" type of melody and lyric. He and his collaborator have kept in mind the limitations of the average dance orchestra vocalist and I am grateful that they have put in no exceptionally low or high notes. I thank them, too, for the beautiful middle part of the chorus. Diminutive Joe Davis, the publisher, used to manage Rudy Wiedoeft. Joe ar WINDS LIKE A WATCH Asky our dealer to show you a Nozac* (no sack) Demand both 1 and 2 in the fountain pen you buy. Compare the Nozac with any other Backless pen . It alone provides quick, easy filling by positive mechanical action and at a glance reveals the ink supply. $5.00 and more. Other Conklins $2.75, S3. 50 and more. Pencils §1.00 and up. The Conklin Pen Co. Chicago Toledo San Francisco ♦Proved by over 2 years of general public use. Conklin NOZAC SATISFACTION GUARANTEED ranged for me to meet Rudy in 1921 when I first came to New York. I've never forgotten Joe's courtesy and I hope he has all the good luck in the world with this song. "I MAY BE DANCING WITH SOMEBODY ELSE" By Phil Kornheiser. Published by Miller Music, Inc. Phil has recently become one of the chief executives of Miller Music and this song is his first job for them. For more than 20 years Phil has been one of the most prominent creators of popular songs and I wish him great success with his latest. It is extremely tuneful and lends itself easily to a bright fox trot tempo. I enjoy singing it as one of our opening numbers. "IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A DIFFERENT STORY" By Ray Klages, Jimmy Monaco, and Jack Meskill. Published by Donaldson, Douglas & Gumble, Inc. Another one of those depressing songs. But Tin Pan Alley wouldn't be itself without its preponderance of Dixie-Mammy songs and its unrequited love stories. When two old masters like Ray and Jimmy team with a comparative newcomer like Jack, something unusual is bound to happen, and for the kind of song it is, they wrote a good one. Dance bands will find the melody easy and enjoyable to play. For the sake of good old Mose Gumble, of the publishing company, I sincerely hope the song surpasses his fondest expectations.