Radio doings (Dec 1930-Jun1932)

Fever Heat AUNT EMMY One of the Newest Hollywood Sensations, This Unique Old Lady, Who Has Outlived Seven Husbands or So. Been All Over and Back Again. Is "Hep" to All the Latest Wisecracks (and Incidentally Knows All the Answers) Has Brought to the Air a New Type. You'll Like Aunt Emmy After You Get to Know Her. by Cliff Arquette SOMEONE asked me to tell them all I knew about Aunt Emmy, and I must admit. I was stumped for a minute. Although I believe I know more about the little old lady than any other living soul, there were still a few chapters in her hectic life that I was unaware of. Therefore I got under way to the home of the little old sage with no further delay, and the following interview is the result. My first question was blunt and to the point. "Aunt Emmy, just how old are you?" She peered over her small square glasses, and shifting her head from side to side, to get a better focus on me. shot back the following answer. "Well son, I'm jist eighty four summers along, and I don't git a dime from no soap company fer savin' thet either. Eve had seven husbands and Em open to any kind of an offer, whether it's political er in a more matrimonial vein. "Muh fust husband was a mule skinner up in Boise. Idaho, and he was a blamed good mule skinner — as mule skinners go. And as mule skinners go he went. Yep — he left me holding tinbag, as the old savin' goes, but I didn't let no grass grow under the old dogs: no sir — I had me a new husband before you could say 'Harvey McCracken'." "I come out to California in a covered wagon; 'course not the kind thel yuh sees in magazines, but jist a plain automobile. We alius called it the covered wagon, on account of the mortgages thet was on it. By Henry, thet car had so many installments on it thel we had to run it in second gear all the way out. 'Course you know'd thet I was originally from Peoria — I thought everybody knew thet. Yep — the fust time I left Peoria — I went by rail, but the fellers thet was a carrin' the rail got tired and ran me out the rest of the way." I thought il was about time to interrupt here so I asked her this question, "I understand that you are a great friend of th. British nobility, is that right?" "1 should sa) it is, son. George and I is the greatest of pals, and as fer the Prince of Wales, sometime when yuh got more time, drop over and I'll tell yuh about the time him and I went horseback ridin' — say, it'll jist fold yuh up! Yep, I guess Old Fever Heat, as some of the boys down at the pool hall call me. has really been around, and I don't mean around the house cither." I could see that she was getting back on the same track so I thought I would throw her off. "I understand that von have a very cute daughter : is that true?" "Well sir." she answered, "If she'd a been any cuter, she'd a been twins. Yep. she's a regular girl all right, only die ha a bad habit of shootin' craps with the icemen, and fightin' with newsboys. Outside of thet she's jist as sweet a they make 'em. Ell never fergit one iceman — but thet s another story, we'll jist pass thet up fer the time bein'. "You see. Tessie — thet's muh little girl's name — never really got a break. IFF ARQUETTK The Author Harold I shell, chief announcer, and "Bert" with iunt Emmy. she was left on muh doorstep, in a horse's feed bag, and I don't think she ever got over thet shock. And another thing. She don't like policemen — gosh all hemlocks, how she despises them fellers! I guess the reason fer that is the fact thet I was scared by a policeman, jist before she was left on the doorstep." "Tell me this, Aunt Emmy," I said, trying to get her on another subject. "I have been told by some of your fans, that listen to your nine forty-five broadcast, that they have never had a veryclear description of Tess. What does she look like?" "\\ ell. now. thet's purty hard to say. jist what she looks like, she don't look like a horse, yet yuh might mistake her fer one on a foggy night. She's got the same kind of a chin thet I got, and the same nose almost, only mine has got a few more warts on the end of it. She does her hair up in a loose knot on the back of her neck, and on a clear day you can see Catalina from our front porch." "Well," I said. "That really is a bit of news, and now tell us just how you picked up a friendship with Bert, and who is he." "By Henry, you fellers from magazines is worse then the fellers from the newspapers when it comes to askin' questions. I do declare. I ain't never seen the like of it. Well. Ell tell yuh all about Bert and muhself. I wuz out one night givin' a talk on temperance, course you know'd thet they calls me the 'Demon Crusader.' Well, sir, I wuz givin' this talk when all of a suddin' they raids the place and I was throw'd into the jug. The judge says. "Thirty day — 'er thirty dollars.' and me [Turn to Page 41] RADIO DOINGS Page Fifteen