Radio doings (Dec 1930-Jun1932)

1 Knew Them WHEN One of Our Subscribers Happened Across Luke McLuke, a Man Who Claims to Have Known Most of the Radio Stars From Childhood Days, and Persuaded Him to Write Some of the Interesting Happenings When They Were All Kids Together. Here's the Story, Word for Word — Just as Luke Wrote it. If It Isn't the Most Unusual Article You Ever Read, We'll Buy You a New Hat. b> 1 NcLnkc I BET I've knew more bozos that turned out to be big shots in this here broadcasting business than anybody on earth. Even when I was a little shaver about five or so Ma used to say to Pa — Pa. I have a. funny feeling that when the kid gets big he's going to know a lot of radio stars and maybe write a magazine article about it. Of course Pa just laughed: he never did pay much attention to what Ma said anyhow. There use to be a kid in our block name of Downey, Mort Downey. Him and I use to horse around together a lot ■ — playing gangster and marbles and swiping milk bottels, you know what kids do. Well sir even then I use to tell him, Mort I think you got a rattlin good voice and you ought to get on the radio with it sometime if they ever get radio. And Mort says. By Golly, Luke, that's a good idea. T'll look up Bing Crosby and Kate Smith and we'll all get a job on Columbia together, never thinking anything would come of it. Little Katie Smith use to go to school w ith I and Mort only she was one grade ahead of us. She was a good kid and everybody liked her even if they did say she wouldn't amount to anvthing when she grew up. But seeing a picture of her in the paper the other day I can see they were all wet. She amounts to quite a lot if you ask me. Trouble with Katie was then, she always wanted to play nurse, and took it all out on I and Mort. She use to talk us into playing sick, and then she'd cure us with salt water, vinegar and sometimes mustard. One time she tolrl I and Mort we had typhoid and cut all our hair off with Ma's shears. Bing Crosby moved into our street about then and from then on nobodv had any peace. When our Ma's saw him coming over to play they kept us in the house and locked all the doors. He was always gettin' us kids into trouble. In fact he got the name of Luke says Russ Columbo was one of the toughest kids in town, but his one soft spot was the violin. Bing because every time he got near anybody's house the door would slam in his face. Not that Bing wasn't a good kid. But he never let a chance slip by to talk us kids into doing something our Ma's would lick us for afterwards. Once he told Katie there was a place on everybody where you could stick a pin in and it wouldn't hurt. So for a long time everybody kept out of Katie's way for fear she'd ram a pin into them. Mr. and Mrs. McLuke as they are today, caught by the camera in an informal pose. And she wasn't particular at all how hard she rammed it either. Another time Bing got Mort and another kid — name of Vallee, a nice little kid that never harmed nobody — to put shotgun shells in Ma's cook stove. Ma always did think it was I and Bing that did it but after Pa got through whalin me she decided after all it was the Crosby boy. But as Bing was home eating his supper when the stove blew up she couldn't make Missus Crosby believe it. And even Ma had her doubts when she seen Bing's innocent-lookin face staring up at her angelic like. I'll never forget the day the White mansky's moved in next door. They had a kid name of Pauloff that was in my room at school. Well sir, this Pauloff, we called him Paul for short, was the skinniest rat you ever seen. He used to make life miserable for the girls by hiding behind the flagpole and jumping out and scaring them when they came by. Some said when he got older he went kind of goofy when his girl fell in love with a cornet player and so Paul started up a orchestra to get even with the world in general. Heard that he's filled out some and left the "sky" off his last name. They was a Eyetalian family lived on the other side of town that had four boys about our age — name of Lombardo. Then and the Columbos come over on the same scow or something and sort of joined up forces when they settled down. Well sir these Lombardo boys and one of the Columbo kids — name of Ruggerio we called him Russ for short— were the toughest eggs in town. Why. they wasn't a day went by that one of our bunch didn't get beat up if they got too close to the Lombardo gang. This Vallee kid I spoke of a while back wandered over there way one day and come back bawlin like a cow because the Lombardos and Russ Columbo had stole his clothes at the swimmin hole. It was a long way to the swimmin hole too and Rudy had snuck down all the back alleys in town to get home, except one place where he had to cross Main street. Well sir this sure burnt us up bad and one day Bing and me and Mort and Rudy all laid for Russ after school. We'd have caught him too if he hadn't walked home with the teacher \Turn to Page 46] Vagc Thirty-six RADIO DOINGS