Radio Mirror (Nov 1936-Apr 1937)

h runny storh LESSON FROM THESE EXPERTS GEORGE BURNS JOE PENNER GRACIE ALLEN darkie joke. It was the one about the Southern plantation owner who woke up in the middle of the night to hear a commotion in his hen coop. Getting out of bed, he hurried outside to see what was happening. Trembling at the door of the coop he shouted, "Who's there?" From inside came the equally trembling reply, "Just us chickens, boss." Next day, Joe returned home alone to find a lot of feminine gewgaws scattered about the empty living room and a great rumpus in the pantry off the dining room. "Hey," shouted Joe, 'Who's in there?" His wife opened the pantry door, revealing a group of impromptu visitors raiding the shelves for tea snacks on the maid's day off. She shouted back, "Why, just us chickens, boss." "Old joke; new angle, you see," Joe said. "But it had to be well memorized. Otherwise it wouldn't have come spontaneously. That's why I'd advise you, if you aren't the remembering kind, to jot 'em down in a little book and work 'em up to suit yourself. Even rehearse them. Then all you've got to do is wait for something to happen as a cue. Plenty will happen — does every day of the year." So be sure to memorize your jokes perfectly. That's point number one. Point number two is supplied by Milton Berle. This famous Broadway comedian told me that, in his opinion, suitability is the basis of all good comedy. If you've ever winced at the spectacle of Aunt Bessie in the throes of a wicked story, you know what he means. "You might think a joke's a joke, no matter who tells it. But not so, alas, not so. A quip by Gracie Allen wouldn't fit into Bea Lillie's line at all. My own cracks wouldn't go over so well in the mouth of Alexander Woollcott. The reason there are so many types of professional comedians is that there are so many styles of humor. And here's where the amateur makes his big mistake^he's ready to tackle anything which may come along. He can't put that certain something into some jokes because he just hasn't the voice or the particular personality demanded. Jokes are as specialized as doctors, but you can find plenty to fit your type if you choose carefully." Apart from typed jokes, Milt pointed out, there are always the wisecracks. In making the wisecrack beautiful, he admits, it's every man for himself. Look at Mr. Simpson of England. Well might he exclaim: "My only regret is that I have but one wife to give to my King." The old BY JOHN LAGEM ANN sayings and famous quotations that can be slightly misquoted to fit any situation are endless. Every public library has a dictionary of familiar quotations. Look it up sometime and see if you don't get some ideas. Who was it said, "Give me Life, give me Liberty, or give me the Saturday Evening Post?" Surely you can do better than that. You might think that the professional comedian gets a break by having his quip right there before him on script when he steps up to the microphone. But Eddie Cantor, wagging his head vigorously, says it's the amateur who has the break when it comes to a chance to be really funny. "A person who doesn't tell jokes for a living should be three times funnier than the guy who does," Eddie said. "In fact, all the amateur needs to steal the show is selfconfidence and presence of mind! Think of the mental hazards which face the professional. He says to himself, 'Tonight at 9:45 P. M., E.S.T., or whatever the time might be. I've got to be funny. It says so in the paper/ He knows his audience expects him to be funny, and they know he knows it. Consciously or unconsciously his audience is saying, 'I dare you to make me laugh.' "But the parlor comedian knows his audience personally. He knows what they've been up to lately, what they're thinking about and he can sneak up on them with a tailormade story or quip before they have time to stiffen. The best laughter is unexpected laughter! But half the time the guy who doesn't make his living telling jokes won't make use of this tremendous advantage." The next time you think you are prepared to surprise your friends with a joke, heed Mr. Cantor. Eddie pointed out as horrible examples you people who clear your throats self-consciously and cause a terrible pause in conversation before you say, rather feebly, "That reminds me of the joke about — " Or you who smile apprehensively and have that pouncing look that your best friends can tell a mile off. All you people give your audiences time to consider that they may have to laugh. You've ruined the joke, Eddie says, before you've even begun to tell it. Don't ever tell a joke apologetically. Or the laughter that follows will be so polite you'll feel like crawling under the carpet. It's fear of such laughter that makes a lot of people tell a joke aggressively, Eddie thinks. {Continued on page\Q\) 33