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each day would take a good chunk of the profits, even if you could get the gasoline."
I cried that night, curled forlornly on the far side of the bed from John's stiff, straight form. He must have heard me crying, and yet he didn't turn to me, didn't take me in his arms. And I knew then that I couldn't reach him, for all that I could have touched him by putting out my hand. We'd argued before, over other things, and not once had he hesitated to make up afterward, to kiss me and to smooth the trouble over.
I slept late the next morning, and came downstairs to find John already gone. Mrs. Evenson had turned the bread out of the pans and was kneading it on the marble slab. She looked at me — knowingly, I thought, and I turned my face away, conscious of my swollen, reddened eyes. Then reaction set in after my tortured night, and I told myself angrily that I was making a spectacle of myself over very little. John was dissatisfied with his job, and consequently his farm, which belonged properly, practically, to the distant future, had become an immediate necessity to him, had become an obsession. Surely the obsession would pass. Something would happen to make it pass. He would be promoted at the office, or he'd be offered another job, or he would find another interest. . .
SOMETHING did happen, but it was the last thing I expected. John bought the farm. When he came home that night he greeted me with an air of abstraction, of holding something back. And as soon as Mrs. Evenson had gone, he put down the paper he'd only been pretending to read and said, "Betsey, I bought the Corwin place today."
"Bought it?" I repeated stupidly. "You don't mean — for yourself?" The news was so incredible that the first explanation that occurred to me was that John had bought the farm as an investment and intended to rent it out.
"For us," he said pleadingly. "Please see it that way, Betsey, and say that you'll try it with me. You'll like the life; I know you will, and we just can't fail — "
I hardly heard him. I was staring at the comfortable sitting room, at the deep chairs and the lamps placed for reading, at the soft colors of drapes and furnishings. We had everything one could reasonably want in life, every comfort, and John wanted to leave it. He wanted to give it all up for a wild chance on a job at which he'd never had any real experience. He wanted —
"Before you answer," he was saying, "I want you to know that I've got to go, Betsey, whether you go with me or not. I — I can't stick it out here any longer. But please say you'll come with me — "
"1 can't." Had I really spoken them — the words that ended everything between us? "I mean — "
"You mean that you don't trust me to provide for you."
I said nothing. In my heart I knew it was the truth. Already, at the back of my mind, a thought was stirring: suppose he tries the farm — and fails. We'll still have something left. We'll have this house, and the business.
"If it only wouldn't mean giving up the bakery — "
John's face was gray. "But it does," he said wearily. "It's no use, Betsey; you don't understand. Not only would you have to give up this place, but you'd have to give it up wholeheartedly, so that whatever happened, you
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