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But it was a hope that died and that pained, more and more, in the dying.
The box-office had closed and there was nothing more for me to do but to watch the cooling system and the sound; to check on the lounges for carelessly-dropped cigarettes; to smile politely at the townspeople I knew and to ask them if they had enjoyed the show. And, finally, nothing else to do but stand at the head of the aisle and watch the last reel of the show.
"Mary Ellen — " as if in a dream I heard the low, urgent voice behind me. And dreamlike I turned — to find Johnny standing there, his coming so noiseless on the thick lobby carpet I hadn't heard him.
"Oh — Johnny — " my voice broke. From the corner of my eye I could see the manager, Mr. Birne, come out of his office and lean against the staircase, watching me. It wouldn't do for me to be seen talking to Johnny.
Johnny saw my look and slipped quickly into an aisle seat near the back. My heart was pounding so that I was sure everyone in the theater could hear it. I couldn't go stand by Johnny's seat to talk to him, nor could he stay in the lobby with me, but I knew that if I walked slowly down and slowly back a few feet, we might be able to whisper without being caught. I moved into the dark aisle, trying to look as if I were making a mental survey of vacant seats.
AS I passed Johnny, he caught my hand, and I bent over to catch his words. "Mary Ellen — I don't know what to say, except that I was wrong. I — I slapped you! And you were just being sweet and brave and ..." The whisper died out, and I backed away quickly, as a mart scrambled across Johnny's legs, and out into the aisle, while Johnny got hastily to his feet to let him pass.
Johnny slid back into his seat, and the whisper came again. "But it wouldn't do for us, honey — not for us! The way I feel about you is the way a man feels about his wife — marriage is for us, sweetheart, and nothing else. Marriage — for always."
Heads were beginning to turn. Quickly I snapped on my flashlight and pretended to be looking for some lost object under the seats. This was dreadful! These were the things that should be said under the blessing of the moon, or close to a blazing fire in a shadowed room — not here, in the impersonal darkness of the theater, with a hundred people within hearing! And yet it never occurred to me, and apparently it didn't to Johnny, that we could wait a little. It was too important — no matter where we were, these were things that we had to say to each other now. Seconds were precious — they couldn't wait.
When we had been silent for a moment, our neighbors' attention was diverted from our love scene back to the one that was being played on the screen. But I couldn't keep still, couldn't stay away from Johnny.
"I know, I know," I whispered to him. "That's what I want, too — to marry you now, anytime, if you still want me, Johnny. I don't want a job. I won't go away!"
He twisted in the seat until his face was very close to mine. "That doesn't matter, honey — the job, I mean. I discovered that today. You'd be just as much my wife, just as real to me, if you were in Purdy, or here, or in — in Timbuktu! It's you — that's all that matters. Having you. What you're doing,
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