Radio Mirror: The Magazine of Radio Romances (Jan-June 1943)

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Name Street I City State. | GIVE ORIGINAL HAIR COLOR F/VRIVS FOR GRflV HAIR Dept. MC3-43 "No," I said slowly. And I hoped it was true! She eyed me. "But you're going to use it, now you've got it. You're going to tell Kit, aren't you?" "I — I don't know — " I faltered. She seized me by my shoulders. "Barbara, I swear there wasn't any harm in what I did last night. I couldn't bear it for Kit to think there was. You know it would be a mighty sad thing for him to have to go away on his next trip thinking things like that about his wife. I'll do anything you want, if you won't tell. Anything!" "I don't want you to do anything," I said, "except what you wouldn't mind Kit knowing about." "I promise, Barbara!" She didn't keep her promise, but I knew by then that I couldn't tell Kit. If I had wanted him myself, it would have been easy and right to tell; but because I loved him it would be all wrong. ("kNCE that was decided, I felt a " strange relief. I could not be happy, I could never be happy without Kit, but I felt a sort of peace that is hard to describe. At the office I worked like an automaton, able again to type out my long complicated forms without a mistake. The men's careless talk at the canteen no longer bothered me. I could hear them talk about "pea shooters" and know they meant machine guns, yet not shiver with fear for Kit. Somewhere a voice inside me was calmly reassuring: "What's going to happen will happen, and there's nothing you can do about it." That serenity was shattered, though, when Kit returned and I had to watch him with Lacey — watch the amused affection in his eyes at her cute, childlike high spirits. She was a different girl when he was there, all gaiety and sweetness. Perhaps she really does love him, I thought dully. Then, shatteringly, would come the realization that I could still take him away from her. I could change that expression in his eyes to one of hatred when he looked at her. When I was alone — at night, knowing that they were together next door — I clenched my hands and pressed them against my mouth to stifle the words that were clamoring to be uttered. But each time I saw them I arranged a smile on my face and was silent. I might lose my love, my happiness, my whole life — but I would keep one thing: the right to look into my own eyes in the mirror without flinching away in self-disgust. Until the night Kit came, unexpectedly, in to the canteen. It was still early, and the place was only a quarter full. He came straight over to my counter and said unceremoniously, "Can you come home with me?" I looked at the strange cold look of his face with wonder and I said, "Of course." "I'd like to have you with me when I see Lacey. There's something — " He broke off. I went to get permission and joined him on the street. We walked silently to the apartment house. When he opened the door, Lacey whirled from the mirror where she had been rouging her lips. "Kit, you're so late! I thought you'd be home an hour ago and — " she began petulantly, and stopped when she saw me. Kit paid no attention. He looked at her without emotion. "Lacey, tell me the truth," he said quietly. "Lacey, what's the truth of what I've been hearing about you?" Lacey's stare went from him to me, and her face lost all its color so that the rouge stood out starkly on her lips. "I might have known you'd cross me up!" she said tightly, shrilly. "Promising you wouldn't — " "Lacey, stop!" I put my hands on her shoulder. "I haven't told him!" But anger had flooded her brain with fury and she was no longer able to hear or think. "All right!" she cried out wildly. "Now he's got your story he might as well have the rest." She whirled on Kit. "Do you think I'd ever have married you if I'd known what I was getting? A guy that couldn't be pried loose from his cash without a crow-bar!" She drew up her small body and fairly spat her words at him. "You listen here, Kit Ericson! If you ever thought I was planning to sit by the fire and watch your little business grow an inch a year till we were old, I'm telling you right now that you were mighty wrong!" Kit said, "Yes. I was wrong." That was all. But something about the very quietness of the way he said it made Lacey hear him, see him, suddenly. She looked bewildered as if she listened to the echoes of her own voice saying the things that she had said, and she was afraid. Kit went on. "Barbara didn't tell me anything. A fellow at the union hall told me. I wouldn't believe him — but I believed him enough to want Barbara here with me when I asked you about it. I guess — that was a good idea." Some of Lacey's defiance came back. She laughed. "Yes, I guess it was. What you didn't know before, you know now." She shrugged. "Oh, well. I can't say I'm too sorry. It was bound to happen, sooner or later." "Good bye, Lacey," Kit said. GOOD BYE, Kit. It was fun while it lasted, wasn't it?" Kit didn't answer that pitiful attempt at gallantry. He turned toward the door, and I followed him. I'll always remember my last sight of Lacey — a flamboyant figure in a scarlet jersey, slender and graceful, extravagant against the drab background— of a furnished apartment in a New England town. Kit and I went into my apartment and I made some coffee. We didn't talk; we were both too exhausted with the tension we had been through. But we were at peace. I think he felt as I did, that the future was straight and clear ahead of us, with no happiness very near, but shining far off in the future. We could hope, we could get through the present with its waiting and danger and hard work, and while we did our job we could plan and build and dream. It was as settled and sure in the very air around us as if wp had talked about it. As settled, in fact, as it is today. For as I write, word has just come that Lacey's divorce has been made final. Kit doesn't know — -he's at sea, and it will be weeks, perhaps, before he is back. But he will come back, safely. Of that I am sure, just as I am sure that these days of war will at last bring triumph to men of good will, everywhere.