Radio mirror (July-Dec 1943)

I'll Love You More Tomorrow Continued jrom page 21 when I'd confided in Sparky about the fear that always gnawed at me when Jeff was off on a flight, he'd said: Now look here, Betsy," and his voice had been stern. "You're going to be a flyer's wife and there's one thing youve got to learn now. He's going to have to leave you often. Every time he does, you've got to know he's flying home again. Why, do you think I could write his name down so calm and easy on operations sheet for a flight, if 1 didn't know it? The guy means a lot to me, too, you know." "But how can I know it? I cried in desperation, fighting down the terror that assailed me— the terror that whispered what if he doesn't come back! "Then you can act like you know it. You've got to learn to act. Nobody is going to do his best flying— or fighting, or whatever he's doing — if he thinks the girl back home is crying her eyes out from fear of what might happen to him If Jeff ever found out you were afraid, heaven help him. He'd worry because you worried. Good as he is, he'd be no good any more as a pilot and no good as a husband. Some day either Jeff himself or his love for you would spin in." SO I'd tried to learn to act. To hide my fear, to make Jeff feel that I thought what he was doing was swellwhile all the time he was gone my heart was in my throat. I'd succeeded, too Until yesterday. Yesterday when he'd said he was making a "secret flight. All flights of the Ferry Command are secret, as a military necessity The very fact he'd used that word couid mean only one thing— that this was terribly important, and terribly dangerous. And I hadn't been able to bear that knowledge alone, buried deep inside me. By my tears I'd let him see And I'd sent him away with worry on his face and in his heart— worry that I was worried. And now today, Jeff lay helpless on a hospital bed, with a cheerful grin on his face— and nothing at all behind it Outside in the corridor, I turned and grabbed Sparky's arm. "Tell me what happened," I demanded. "I ve got to know how he crashed." For I'd known nothing at all until I'd seen Jeff lying there. Early this morning there had been only Sparky s grimly terse voice over the phone, saying "Meet me at the hospital as soon as you can." And I'd gone, knowing instinctively and with icy certainty. what had happened. But not how. "Everything went wrong, from spinner to flippers. He got ice on the wings. One engine curdled on him. The beam went out. It was just one ot those trips— that's all. To make it worse, he had somebody with him— somebody important— I can't tell you who. Jeff made a crash landing in the mountains, and nobody could have made a better one under the conditions But the passenger was hurt, too— not as bad as Jeff, but hurt. That s what s preying on his mind. ..." "Not only that." I was staring at the blank corridor wall but I was seeing Jeff's face when he left me yesterday. "He knew I was worried. Yesterday — I couldn't act, Sparky." ,.,,., , The big, raw-boned flyer didn t look at me. "It wasn't your fault, Betsy. It just— happened. . . . Don't cry, honey. You and I have got to concentrate on rallying around now. Because Jeff s going to need all he can get if it turns out he's going to be grounded for During those painwracked weeks of treatment, Jeff was braver than Id known a man could be. He was always cheerful, he bore the torture of his body stoically. But the emptiness that had been in his eyes that first day grew. It was as if something m him that none of us could reach had shriveled up and died. It was as it his soul had sustained a mortal hurt. I was there every minute the ottice could spare me. Gradually, his body improved. The bandages came off. the splints were removed. Physically, Jett was responding to the treatments. But he never left his bed. He couldn t walk. He couldn't move his legs. And the nurse told me that sometimes in the night, he muttered in his sleep. 1 always said I'd fly 'em, not crack em up," he'd say. Finally the doctor had a talk with me. "It's mental now," he told me gravely. "He can walk again and he can fly again if we can only make him believe it. If he'd once use those legs of his of his own free will, I'm sure we can cure him. Unless he makes the effort, there is nothing more we can do." "But what is it, doctor? What keeps him from it?" I cried. "My dear, when you deal with the human mind you're dealing with pretty uncharted territory," the doctor told me "He simply hasn't the incentive. You'd think for a man as crazy about %y #&* &cw rieccc 7c ARTHUR ELMER, glib-tongued master of ceremonies of Natalie Purvin Prager's Game Parade, the Blue Networks children s quiz program heard every Saturday at I 1 :00 A.M.. EWT. Arthur is a whiz when it comes to impersonations, and he knows more than eight dialects. He has a rare gift for ad libbing and has had vast experience as an emcee. Elmer made a brief but eventful venture into the theater when Clifford Odets, the dramatist, was forming a perman nt acting group. Although Elmer talked his way into a port the company fell apart before it got under way. He then went into radio, appearing on such programs as Forty-Minutes in Hollywood, Myrt and Marge, and others. Elmer was born in New York City and raised in Brooklyn, which makes a ditterence. 56 flying as he is, that would be incentive enough. It's his whole life— except for you, Miss Rand. Airplanes and you— that's all he cares about. But somehow his heart's gone out of everything. We've done absolutely all we can. You two must somehow, between you, try to find the incentive that will give him the will to walk." WE did everything we could think of, Sparky and I. We brought him books. We devised games. Other flyers from the Command came and talked shop; they told him how much they missed him, how his famous passenger on the fateful flight had said he was the best pilot he'd ever seen. I talked to him about our future— the things we d do when we were married, plans for the wedding, now, of course, indefinitely postponed. And nothing worked. He was getting more listless every day. He listened politely as we chattered, he read the books, he played the silly games, but he was removed from it all. The fire was gone from his eyes, and his face lost its keenness. And when I kissed him, instead of taking me in his arms and giving me a real hug and a kiss, he received it passively, almost humbly. "He's lost all his force," I cried in despair to Sparky, "that thing that made him what he was. When I kiss him, it's almost as if he thought I were doing him a kindness. He lets me do all the planning for the wedding, tor everything, as if— as if marrying him were a tremendous favor I was doing. I can't bear it!" "He loves you as much as ever, Sparky said quickly. "More maybe He talks about you all the time. And he worries now that getting married wouldn't be fair to you— with him like he is. But don't ever think he s not still crazy in love with you." "But if—" and then I forgot what I was going to say. An idea had come to me_an idea so drastic, so shattering, that it struck like a blow. "I think I know the answer, I told Sparky. "You said I had to learn to act well, I'm going to act as nobody ever did before!" , "What are you going to do? I shook my head. "No— it s bettei if I don't tell you!" I said. He put his hand on my arm. What if it doesn't work?" he asked gravely. What if it didn't work? But it hao to work! It was Jeff's spirit, not his body, that kept him helpless It it failed— he'd hate me. And I'd hate myself. I'd have to go away, never see Jeff again. But it couldn't fail. It was like playing with dynamite. If this didn't work, then not only would Jeff stay indefinitely tied to his bed, but our love would be killed forever. He'd never trust me again, never wan me. And who could blame him? But we'd tried everything else. It was time now for dangerous measures or the battle was lost. , Several times during the next ten days my heart failed me. I felt I couldn j go through with it. And then Id remembered what the doctor said, incentive to get up and use his legs. I bought a new dress— a close-fitting one that outlined the curves ot mi figure. And a perky new hat with < seductive half-veil that ended jus Continued on page 58 H