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48
THE STORY
T WAS so terribly lonely when Jim * went overseas! During the day I was busy with my job as receptionist for two doctors, but the long evenings were hard to fill. Of course, I went out sometimes. I went out with Alec Holden, one of the doctors for whom I worked. One night, when we had a blackout, he made passionate love to me; then I realized I had made a mistake. My friend, Avis Brooks, happened in and saved what might have become an embarrassing situation. It didn't take long for Alec to transfer his attentions to blonde and flirtatious Avis. The very next day, ' Avis decided it would be the best thing for the both of us to live together and she moved in. Soon after, I discovered that she had fallen foolishly in love with Dr. Holden even though I warned her what would happen if she became involved with a man like Alec.
I was wrapped up in my friendship with Carl Haggard who I met at the USO Canteen. I was attracted to him because of his resemblance to Jim. I was seeing Carl steadily since he was staying at the Ruells', my in-laws, while on furlough. After helping me stop Cissie and Teddy from eloping, he had fitted right into the family, and they were happy to let him have Jim's old room. I should have known that Carl was falling in love with me — I should have known it the day he left to go back to camp and kissed me goodbye. But I was too upset to think of anything else but my worries about Avis, whose affair with Alec had progressed to the point of her wanting to write to her husband, Jack, for a divorce. We had a bitter argument and Avis packed her bag and left the apartment.
When Carl called the next morning from camp to say he had a one-day pass and asked if I wanted to see him, I almost cried with relief. I had to see him to tell him my troubles. And yet, when he came, I didn't know where to begin. "I shouldn't burden you with my problems," I said. "It isn't fair." "Anything that concerns you, concerns me, too," he said. "I love you, Connie." His eyes held mine as he pulled me to him. I tried to fight his sweet and tender kiss. But the answering urgency was too great, too strong.
SHOCKED, I drew back from the heady sweetness of that kiss. What was happening to me? It was like climbing a giddy mountain peak, higher and higher, lured by what is strange and dangerous, until suddenly you can no longer find a landmark and your familiar earth is out of sight. "You mustn't . . . you mustn't!" The whispered words were a plea to myself as well as to Carl, and he knew it. Gently, his hand urgent against my
throat, he turned my face up to his.
"We must," he murmured. "We can't help it . . ."
We can't help it. For a moment I gave myself up to it, forgetful of anything except the insistence of my own desire. Strong arms around me, a lover's lips on mine ... it had been so long, so long. Only . . . this wasn't Jim!
This time I did pull away. I was trembling. Blindly I crossed the room,