Radio and television mirror (July-Dec 1951)

to let your husband go alone. Of course such a move would mean a great wrench in all your lives, and I think your decision must be based, not on what it will mean at the moment, but what the new position for your husband will mean to the whole family in the long run. If you decide — in family consultation— that the move will mean a better life for all of you in the long run, then you should go. And if you do decide to go, do it with a feeling of adventure, not martyrdom. How do you know transfer of the children to another school will mean setback? How do you know you'll be wretched? But believe me, Mrs. S., if you are sure in your own mind that all these unpleasantnesses will follow, they will — your very attitude of complete negativism will make them happen! Dear Joan: I am nineteen. I fell in love with a divorced man. He was very romantic, thirty-nine years old, quite handsome. We named our wedding day, but it never came. All of a sudden his love for me snapped off completely. He stayed away and gave no reason for the sudden break-up. The boys that always wanted to go steady with me before don't even care to look at me now. Even my girl friends act cold. I am lonely, desperate and broken-hearted. How can I win back their friendship? A. R. Dear A. R.: First of all, stiffen your backbone. You fell in love. Well, that can be When A Girl Marries (Continued from page 14) either the most wonderful thing in the world, or the most devastating. In your case, you weren't lucky. You fell in love with what appears to have been the wrong man. That was a mistake, but certainly not a crime. Your friends are taking an unfair advantage of your unhappiness in acting coldly. Perhaps they feel reluctant to welcome you back into their circle because they were hurt by your real or imagined coolness during the time you were going with this man. In any case, your best hope in winning them back lies in enlisting the support of one individual in the group, one with whom you were specially friendly. Concentrate on that one, and for the time being forget about the others. Don't attempt to force your way into group activities, but instead make plans to spend some time with the single person who seems even slightly disposed to accept you. You'll have to make the overtures but pocket your pride temporarily and make them — a movie date — a Coke together at the corner drug — any one of the dozens of familiar, casual activities you used to share with your friends. If the girl or boy responds to your invitation with any friendliness at all, it will be up to you to gradually work your way back into acceptance by the whole crowd. If you are met coldly — don't despair. There are other friends to be made in a big city like yours. Offer your friendship, but if your offer is coldly received, turn elsewhere. Remember — real friends will be tolerant of each other's mistakes. If these people are not prepared to offer you understanding and and help, it's time you had some new friends anyway! Dear Joan: I have known my boy friend for three years. Every time I see him he asks me to marry him, and it leads to a quarrel when I refuse. I have made up my mind I could not marry a man with an uncontrollable temper. How can I help him rid himself of it? B. B. Dear B. B.: You haven't made it clear whether the young man's temper outbursts occur only over this question of marriage, or whether they occur at other times as well. If he becomes unreasonably angry when he is crossed — by all means think carefully before marrying him. However, it is possible that you yourself have provoked his anger. Three years is a long time for more or less grown up people to be uncertain of their own minds: if you cannot make up your mind when you want to marry, are you sure you want to marry this particular young man at all, or are you merely keeping him "on the string?" On the other hand, he may just have what you describe as an uncontrollable temper. If that's the case, you might tell him frankly that you feel your only chance for happiness together lies in his self-control, and put him in a sense on probation — for it is possible to form the habit of control over even a very bad temper. But if he cannot seem to do this, there is no hope marriage will transform him into a calm, amiable being. i^h0VVV\Q\^\{GX}C is a Family Affair/ HAIR GRAYING? MOTHER SAYS' */Wd rich, lasting color, Hide gray hairs from view. With Nestle Cojortfnt It's easy to do/" Don't let gray hairs add years to your looks. Triple-strength Nestle Colortint hides them with deeper, richer, youthful color. 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