Radio and television mirror (July-Dec 1951)

held together by the times I do see him." "Isn't it silly?" she went on. "I'm spilling all over you like I — as though I expected you to wave a wand or something. It's your own fault. You helped me. I get to thinking sometimes that you can do anything." She perched on the arm of the sofa. "I'm up and I'm down, like it says in the books about love. I know I ought to watch myself, but — it's too good. I got to make myself believe it'll go on — " Disquiet took hold of me again. "And you don't think it will?" I asked. Her eyes met mine, and there was a little flicker of uneasiness behind them. "I don't know anything, and that's the truth. Sometimes he — well, sometimes I think if I had any pride I'd tell him to go chase himself, Mrs. Malone — " "Won't you call me Anne? I've called you Crystal from the very first." "I always do, to myself," she confessed. "Anne. Just like Gene does. But he — he's funny, you know what I mean? Moody ... he stood me up a couple of times. I wouldn't take that from another guy. Then he told me he — he'd gone to the library and just forgot." She folded her hands again, and said simply. "And I believed him. I wanted to believe him. I said to myself — what's it matter what he says, as long as he keeps coming back, that matters, doesn't it?" "Matters how, Crystal? What is it you want out of this?" "I want everything," she said softly and evenly, almost as though she were uttering a threat. The radiance, the joy, were gone, and that steely, frightening determination had come back. "I want anything 1 can get. I'd marry him tomorrow or ten years from now. I love him, Anne, so much it doesn't even matter that he doesn't love me." I did turn then and looked at her. She smiled down at me, a smile that would have been impossible to the Crystal of a few weeks ago. Wisdom and a wry but not bitter touch of self-ridicule were in her lips. "How do I know, you're wondering? I been facing facts all my life, remember. I didn't call a doughnut and a glass of milk a steak dinner, but I ate it anyway because it was better than nothing. Gene talks to me and it's getting so he feels at home with me. That's better than nothing. But I can't fool myself too much. The way he feels about me isn't going to set fire to the world. But I've got a hunch— whether he knows it or not — that one day it'll be all so very different." Silence kept her brave words alive in the room. One day it'll be different . . . Did she really believe that? Well — how did I know it wasn't true? Maybe her instinct about Gene was a good one, sounder than mine or his father's. From the window, with her back to me again Crystal said, "One reason I know is that the fool kid thinks he loves you." I was too amazed to reply. He had been deliberately cruel to tell her a thing like that, when she was so obviously in love with him. Even though I never came near believing it, Crystal might . . . But once again I had misjudged her reactions. "That's how I know he's just a confused kid," she said softly. "That's what makes me think if I stick around long enough, try hard enough — " she turned with an abrupt movement and met my eyes. "Don't get me wrong. I can understand him having a real strong feeling for you. You've got so much — you're such a — well, such a real lady. How could he help it? But it's not love, the way I feel it for him. Not on your life it ain't. I got a lot to learn, sure — I can't look or talk like you do or I couldn't fix a house so it looked like this. I haven't read hardly anything. But I can learn. And I'm willing to learn. If he just lets me hang around long enough I'll make him care." After she left, I sat quietly for a while, almost too exhausted to take myself up the stairs. That wild gamut of emotions! Only the very young could cover all that ground in such a short space of time. I had a furtive desire to call Sam and tell him about it. But it was after eleven. In spite of my misgivings about Gene, Crystal had infected me with some of her own determined confidence. It astonished me to think back so short a time to Sam's description of his first meeting with Crystal, when we had told one another that a few dates with her would be good for Gene. Even then, of course, I'd had a fleeting feeling it wasn't going to be simple . . . but I hadn't expected the words love and marriage to come up so quickly. Sam was busy down at the plant, and the Clinic was undergoing some building repairs that kept me frantically active from morning till night. We got no chance to compare notes. But often I found myself remembering Crystal's visit. As a matter of fact, now that it's all over I may as well confess that I was surprised Gene himself hadn't come to see me aj £W Peofitef" The radio program "My True Story" presents in dramatic form — direct from the files of True Story Magazine — the actual, true-to-life problems of real people. 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