Radio and television mirror (Nov 1939-Apr 1940)

hopeful had died. And I felt the way I felt years ago when Fran was a tiny baby and so close to dying that all the doctor could do was shake his head and pat me on the shoulder. That's the only other time I ever remember feeling smothered, as if unhappiness was suffocating me. . . . Thursday . . . Grant leaves tonight. He says he never will return to Montana. That means I'll never see him again. Which would be worse ... To see him again and then watch him go away ... Or never to see his crinkly blue eyes or hear his beautiful voice . . . Dear, merciful God , . . Help a mother to be as brave as she should be! Saturday, March 19th . . . GRANT and I are going to be married! It's a mad world and a beautiful world! We're on the train, bound for New York! The children are with us! Grant's room is just a car or two away and in a few minutes we're going into the diner! But I had to steal a few minutes while Fran and Dick are looking out the window at cowboys to make this entry. Thursday night Ben Porter came over and told me Grant Cummings was practically penniless, that he had lost his fortune, been wiped out. And that he was returning to New York on the 11:05. This was more than I could bear. I jumped into Ben's Ford and tore to the station. Instead of boarding the Special which had been nagged for him, Grant took me in his arms. The conductor of the Special was furious. He threatened to have Grant arrested for flagging the train needlessly. It was wonderful, just like the movies. Dick and Fran know Grant has lost his money and they're anxious to do what they can to make him happy too. Dick made one proviso — Grant isn't to be their father, but a friend. There may be problems ahead. I suppose a woman with children who marries a second time must expect jealousy and other emotional difficulties. But I'm so strong in my new happiness that I know I can manage. How stupid it is to give up hope — whatever happens! Life can spin around in one minute! Wednesday, March 24th . . . I'm Mrs. Grant Cummings! And I'm rich, rich beyond the wildest dreams! Grant didn't lose any money at all. That was Ben Porter's scheme to win me over to Grant's side. He told Grant I'd never risk the children's happiness because of anything Grant could do for me, but that I might very well risk it if I thought I could do something for him. ... I should be cross with Grant and Ben — who arrived yesterday and who is going to stay on in some capacity. But I forgive them and bless them. The children are in ecstasy over the ponies they ride in the park, their suite of rooms with unbelievable toys and a piano and radio. And I'm so much in love with my husband that a red-headed woman I haven't seen in years smiles back at me from my mirror. Grant is the darling of the world. He anticipates every little fear I have about running this house — which is more like a palace than anything else. And he showers me with gifts— AND LOVE! Saturday, March 27th . . . I must find friends for Dick and Fran. They're homesick for Montana and the boys and girls they have known all their lives. Poor darlings, I've been so busy I've neglected them. Grant can't bear to have me away from his side when he is home. We're naturally out a great deal in the evening. And I must learn to manage this house even though Mimi Hale, a cousin of Grant's, seems eager to keep on with the responsibility. She is here every day. I can't get over the kindness people have shown me. There's Mimi willing to run my home for me. And Kenneth Stevens, an old friend of Grant's, has been so nice that he's given me courage about meeting Grant's other friends. After all, I'm on the spot, so to speak ... A little Montana dressmaker in the very midst of New York's social whirl . . . April 12th . . . I wonder if Ben Porter is right about Mimi Hale . . . He hasn't liked her from the first. In his outspoken way he's told me, pointblank, that she's a fox, and sly, and that if I treasure my happiness and Grant's love I must watch her. It seems she hoped to marry Grant. And Ben says she hasn't given up that hope . . . Friday, April 16th .. . I PROMISED the children Grant I and I would have dinner with them in their suite tonight. I ordered roast-beef because that's Dick's favorite food since he read it was Gary Cooper's. Gary Cooper is his idol of idols. And I ordered ice cream in flower moulds for Fran. Fran is feminine enough to like "fixings." But Mimi reminded Grant that we must keep a dinner engagement. I suppose I could have explained things to the children and gone with Grant. But I've left them alone so much lately and they're so homesick and I'm so afraid they will feel estranged from me and be hurt . . . Mimi (Continued on page 65) JANUARY, 1940 15